Show Notes
Beth's Homemade Easter Bonnet
Questions for Reflection
Each episode we offer you a few prompts to think about how that day's conversation applies to you. You might pause the podcast and answer them right then and there, but if you keep a journal (Steph and Beth both do), you might find one of these PDFs useful. Choose the orientation that fits best in your journal.
Transcript
​Steph (00:04):
Welcome to the Discovering Our Scars podcast. Beth (00:06): Where we have honest conversations about things that make us different. I'm Beth. Steph (00:10): And I'm Steph. Beth (00:11): Today is April 15th, 2020, around 10:30 in the morning. Steph (00:16): We don't normally timestamp our episodes, but we think it's important to do that in this time period. Beth (00:21): Yeah, because things are changing almost minute by minute with the coronavirus, COVID-19 outbreak and Safer-At-Home orders and Shelter-At-Home orders and now, we wear masks and all of those kind of changes that are happening. So, timestamp matters. Steph (00:35): And I want to remind you that we are under a Stay-At-Home order here in Florida. And so, Beth and I are in separate locations right now recording. I am at my house in the podcast studio where we normally record, and Beth, where are you? Beth (00:49): I'm in my house in the guest bedroom again, because I can control the sound in here pretty well, but I know I sound a little bit different than it would sound if we were together in the same space but hopefully it's not too bad. Steph (00:59): Because you're like lounging on a big chair, right? Isn't that what you're doing right now? Beth (01:03): I am in a comfy chair. It's true. Steph (01:05): Must be nice. Beth (01:06): I hope that wherever folks are listening that they're in a comfy chair too. Steph (01:10): Yes. Hopefully, you're comfy, because that is something we can at least control right now is our comfort level of a chair. Beth (01:18): That's true. Steph (01:20): Hopefully. Beth (01:21): We wanted to talk today about that actually, about all the things that are out of control. So, our episode topic for today is, Four Weeks In: What Day Is It? I feel like I'm losing track of the days, like to know if it's Monday or Tuesday or Wednesday, it's hard to know what day of the week we're even living in right now. Are you experiencing that? Steph (01:43): Well, we have set up a whole thing now where we record our podcasts on Wednesdays, so I know it's Wednesday because we're recording our podcast. Those little markers are the things that are helping me know. I'll tell you, I have things that happen Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, but then after that, I'm on Thursdays, I normally think it's Sunday. Because after those three days, I have no idea what day it is. Steph (02:07): Yeah, it's a struggle. I will tell you, I don't always know what day it is. I try to know because I try to keep up with the weather patterns. Because now that I have a dog, I have to know like, is it going to be raining all day? I need to think through when I can take her out. Steph (02:26): So, that's kind of the only reason why I really semi know what day it is because I'm looking to see what the weather is on the day. And I'm like, oh, it's Friday, oh, interesting. But there's no meaning in Fridays anymore or Thursday. It's like it's Friday. Oh, yeah. That's when I used to go out. No, no. Okay. Steph (02:46): There's just like, Friday is the same as Saturday is the same as Sunday. I mean, people were telling me Happy Easter on Sunday. I was like, oh, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So, by the way, I watched your church service on Sunday, on Easter. Beth (03:02): Oh, really? Steph (03:02): Yes, it was great. I saw your Easter bonnet. It was super cute. We'll put a screenshot of that in our show notes. So, that was very well made. Beth (03:09): My son asked me if I had lost a bet. He was like, why would you think that? Steph (03:15): It was made of coffee filters, right? Beth (03:17): Yes, coffee filters. Steph (03:18): But how did you color it? There's like color? Beth (03:20): Highlighters. Steph (03:21): You see. You're super creative. Beth (03:23): I was going to dye them with food coloring. Steph (03:26): Yeah. Beth (03:27): But when I cleaned out the pantry, when we knew, okay, we're going to be at home, cooking at home a lot, we gotta clean out the pantry. I apparently threw out the food coloring. So, then I had to come up with a plan B, which was oh, I'll just use highlighters and it was better anyway. Because when you use the food coloring, they have to dry overnight and blah, blah, blah. So, this was better. Beth (03:45): But yeah, thank you for watching. It was fun. We tried to make it fun. It's one of those things where it's such an important day on the calendar from the Christian calendar. We wanted to try to make it as special as we could. And so for me, I do still have a lot of my Sunday routine in place because we are still doing our church services online. Beth (04:07): But a lot of the routines that have marked time for us, generally, like have marked time for us as a society, those have changed. It used to be that on Monday morning, my husband would go to work and my kids would go to school, and I would sit at my desk and do my own schoolwork. Beth (04:27): But now, everyone's just here all the time. So, it's hard to say, oh, yeah, today's Monday and Monday is just like Tuesday, and Tuesday is just like Wednesday, the days sort of run together. I guess my other experience with that has been on a really great vacation. And then it's like days don't matter, because we're just enjoying every moment and we're just kind of going day by day. And then it doesn't matter. You get to the middle of the week or the end of the week, wait, how long have we been here? What day is this? This feels like a less positive version of that. Steph (05:05): Yes, I would agree with that. Yeah. Not the best vacation I've ever been on, but not the worst, but not the best. Beth (05:18): So, what are you doing to mark your days now? Like you said, you have work that you have scheduled yourself to do the beginning of every week, right? Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Steph (05:27): Yeah. So, I still do my weekly schedule. I do a weekly schedule and a daily schedule. And I still make my daily schedule ... Sorry, I had something in my throat, not coronavirus. It was not in my throat. Beth (05:42): But if you do, it's okay, because were separate. Steph (05:45): Social distancing, yeah. Beth (05:46): Yeah. We're a few miles apart. Steph (05:49): Oh goodness, which I think is the recommendation now, right? It's not six feet apart anymore. It's like a couple miles apart. Last I heard like a cough can go 27 feet. Then I heard like social distances should be 13 feet. I don't even know. I think we should be in separate houses is the new rule. Steph (06:07): Anyways, your question was I still make my schedule, but I make my schedule knowing I might not do anything on the schedule, and knowing that that's okay. So, yesterday, we had things on our schedule. I think I maybe checked off one of the things. I moved all the things to today, or no not even today because I already had other stuff. So, I moved the other stuff to like Wednesday. Beth (06:30): Today is Wednesday. Steph (06:31): Oh, shoot. Oh my goodness. Then I moved them to Thursday, I guess. Beth (06:39): That was an excellent way to prove the point, I really appreciate that. Steph (06:44): I don't know. Okay, I got to tell you. Sometime in the last days, I can't tell you what day, I think it was Friday. It could have been Saturday. I don't know, last week, my neighbor's cat, they just got a cat and their cat got out and we're all looking for this cat in my backyard. And then there's these crazy little bugs everywhere. I'm like, what is this? And it was a termite swarm. So, I have freaking termites in my house, not in my house. It was outside. Beth (07:15): Well, hopefully it's just in the yard, right? Steph (07:16): Yeah. But I don't know what day it is. I have termites. My brain is all like messed up. So, anyways, today, Wednesday, got it. My bug guy is coming to do termite treatment in the backyard, so hopefully that'll be the first step in this whole process. But yeah, I guess that's part of it, it's like life keeps happening with this coronavirus stuff like my mom has been having some issues with things at her house and these big kind of house things keep happening that I just I don't know what's happening. Beth (07:53): Yeah, it's just ordinary life, but for some reason ... Steph (07:56): It just is way more weight ... Termites, it's already big deal. Beth (08:00): Yes, but it's way heavier right now. Steph (08:03): And I had to ask, are they going to be in my house? And they called this morning asking if I'd be okay to take paperwork, things like that, that you would never ask, but now it's just everything has extra weight to it because of the virus and because of social distancing, and it's a lot. So yeah, Monday, I had a list of things to do. Steph (08:23): But my goal was to try to go to Trader Joe's on Monday, that was my goal. And when I say try, is we drive past first to see if it looks busy. And also, we bring our mask. We have to prepare like we're going to battle. I have my mask and I took my credit card out of my wallet and just had in my pocket and only had that, didn't bring my purse in. And so there was not a line so I was able to go in and get the food, get out. Steph (08:50): And I felt very comfortable. I think I've said every week I'm comfortable at Fresh Market and Trader Joe's. They're doing a very excellent job. Shout out to them. They're doing a great job. All the people are wearing a mask. Not a shout out to Publix because I have not been back. And I think you might have been. Have you been to Publix? Beth (09:10): I went for the last time last week. I won't go again. I'm going to stick to smaller stores from now on. It was a very stressful, unpleasant experience and it was not Publix's fault. I mean, they're doing everything they can. It's just there's too many people in there. Steph (09:25): I think with big stores like that, that's just a huge challenge and yeah, I don't know that there's any perfect solution to it, but then my neighbor went to Publix the same day I think you went, Beth, but later in the day, and she said it was totally fine. She had a good experience. Beth (09:40): Yeah. I tried to go right when they opened because I thought, well, everything will have just been sanitized and they won't be really busy. But it was busy. And I guess everybody had the same thought that I did that, oh, go and get this done. But yeah, maybe later in the day would be better, but I'll just stick to the smaller stores and what we can't get we can't get and that's okay, work around it. Steph (10:01): Exactly, yeah. We're going to try to go to Costco today later in the day and if there's a line we won't go, but if there is not a line, we'll and by we, I mean I. My mom's not going into any stores, but I'm trying to get the stuff first. And also, when I'm in the store, I don't know if it's with you. Steph (10:18): But when I'm in the store, I'm like just grab it, just grab what you can. I'm not even really processing. I'm just like, yeah, I need that, okay, just grab it. I might even, this is something just put it in the cart, hurry up, just get out of here. So, that's how I went shopping. I'm not like really, huh, what is in this thing? Huh, let me look. Let me look at the label. Put it in the cart. That's my brain. It's just like, just get out. Beth (10:42): Get it done. Steph (10:43): Yeah, exactly. So, I don't know if that's just me. Beth (10:46): Well, I go with a really detailed list. So, that helps. But I don't know if you have experienced this. I did see somebody post about it on Facebook yesterday so I don't feel I'm the only one who's gone through this. We used to eat out a lot and that money never was just one bill. But going to the grocery store and trying to shop for a family of four for two to three weeks? That was a ginormous bill. I've never spent so much money at the grocery store before ever, even when I was buying for like, oh, we're going to have 15 people for Christmas dinner. This last trip was crazy how much money it cost. Steph (11:20): Can you even fit all that in your cart? Beth (11:22): Oh, it took three carts. Steph (11:23): Okay. That's what I'm going to say because I went ... One of the first times I went to Trader Joe's when this all happened, I filled up my cart. And I was like embarrassed because Trader Joe's, they don't encourage you to buy a cart worth. And they had signs that say, you're limited to one cart too. I felt embarrassed. I was like, oh no. How are you handling three carts? Are your kids going with you? Beth (11:41): Well, so yeah, my son goes with me. And so, he gets a cart and I get a cart and actually two carts held everything until at the end when they were bagging it up. And then we just had to grab a third cart just to have room because when stuff's in bags, it's more organized. Steph (11:55): Yeah. We're spending a lot more money but honestly, I'm not even really looking at prices. I'm just kind of put it in the cart. And I have literally have no idea how much I spent at Trader Joe's the other day. I think it was over $100. But I have no idea. Steph (12:08): Because it just kind of those things are important, yes. Obviously, money is important and knowing what you spend is important. But these are things that I need. And I know I'm not just buying stuff I don't need. I'm making good choices. I know that much. But yeah, I don't know what I'm spending. Beth (12:24): Well, I was thinking, you might have spent the same amount of money before, but it would have been spread out over multiple trips. Steph (12:29): Yeah, exactly. Beth (12:30): Or some of that money would have gone to pay for food you were eating out. Because you eat out for lunch, right? Steph (12:35): Oh yeah. Beth (12:36): So, the money part of it I think will work out. Steph (12:40): Yeah. Beth (12:40): It was still shocking to me. I was like, oh, if this had been broken into four shopping trips, it wouldn't be so surprising I guess, but yeah. Well, I'm happy to say that I can now have a frozen pizza again because my oven is working. Finally, this week, it got repaired. Steph (12:57): What day did it get repaired, Beth? Beth (12:59): Oh wait. Steph (13:01): This week. Beth (13:02): Was it this week? Steph (13:02): I don't know. Beth (13:03): It wasn't this week. It was last week. It was Friday. It was the end of last week. Steph (13:07): Oh yeah, that's a tough time. It could be any day. Beth (13:11): It was a day. Steph (13:12): Yeah. Beth (13:13): It was the day it ended in Y? I don't know, I'm losing track of the days. Nothing feels normal, which is probably an understatement. But I mean, just like you were saying about how you have to plan to go to the grocery store, oh yeah, this can't be delivered. So, we're going to have to go to the store and get it. Or just going to go and see if we can even get into the store if it's not too busy. It used to be the grocery shopping was not a major outing. It was something you could just fit in whatever. Steph (13:40): Yeah, it was like, yeah, and you could go multiple times per week. Just pick up the little things you need, but I'm not doing that. Beth (13:47): No, me either. Steph (13:48): Yeah. We were able to survive last week. Until I think we went Thursday or Friday. We went to Fresh Market and get some supplies. And then Monday, we went to Trader Joe's. But we go pretty much a week or a little bit more between going to those stores. Beth (14:09): Yeah, I've been trying to stretch it past two weeks, but it's really hard to do that. Steph (14:14): Yeah. Beth (14:14): Yeah, it's really hard to do that. And I also I love my family so much. I came into this with no ability to plan how much they were going to eat. It just is unplannable. I mean, I would make a dinner. This has happened to me several times in this period that we've been only eating at home. Beth (14:33): I'll make a meal thinking, oh, this will be dinner tonight and lunch tomorrow. And there's nothing left. I mean, I don't have the ability to plan how much they're going to eat. Maybe by the end of this I will, maybe that will be a new skill that I gain. Steph (14:49): Yeah, exactly. Beth (14:51): Because I don't like planning these massive grocery store trips. I don't want it to be as much planning as I was out put into a vacation. Now, I've got into just going to the grocery store, you get basic supplies and some things we can't get, right? Steph (15:03): I know. Beth (15:04): Yeah. Well, I was just going to say what do you need that you can't get? Steph (15:06): I'm still trying to find tissues like facial tissues, Beth, you know those, right? Beth (15:11): I do know this. So, Stephanie is poking fun of me right now because I call toilet paper toilet tissue. I think that's actually what's called on the- Steph (15:22): It is what it's called, but no one calls it that, Beth. Beth (15:24): But I apparently am the only one who calls it that and my kids tease me about it nonstop. Steph (15:29): It's like people that call Panera, Panera Bread. It's like what? Why are you calling it that? It's Panera. Beth (15:35): But I tend to call facial tissues, Kleenex. Even though I don't buy Kleenex brand, I just would say, I'm going to go get toilet tissue and Kleenex. I understand, you're looking for tissues. There are for your face. I understand. Steph (15:47): Square tissues. I've been using tissues more than anything because anytime I have to touch my face, I'm using a tissue. So, I'm using them more than I ever have. That's on my list of I'm going to need this. Beth (15:59): You got to find that. Yeah. Steph (16:00): And I can't order it online. No, they're not available anywhere. How about you, Beth? Beth (16:03): Yeah. Well, I was just thinking about you're saying how every time you touch your face, you use the tissue. I feel guilty every time I touch my face now. Steph (16:11): So, you're doing it? Beth (16:13): What are you doing? Steph (16:14): Well, just use tissue. Beth (16:17): I mean, I guess I just tend to ... As soon as I realize it I either go and sanitize my hands or go wash my hands, which is the wrong time, I mean I've just done it. Steph (16:25): You should do it before. Sanitize your hand before you touch your face. Beth (16:28): Right. But I only could do what I could do. Okay, so what have I not been able to buy? Well, yeast is sold out everywhere. Steph (16:37): I've heard that. Beth (16:38): And actually, I heard a funny thing at some point. I don't know when. I started to say it was the beginning of this week, but I don't know. It could have been last month. I don't know. Maybe I'm living in the future and I didn't hear it yet. But, that we've reached the point ... So, the first part of the pandemic it was toilet paper. See, I was very careful there, toilet paper. Beth (16:59): The next part of the pandemic was meat, was ground beef, which I think is going to happen again. But now, we're at the hair dye part of the pandemic where they can't keep hair dye on the shelf. Steph (17:10): Really? Beth (17:12): I don't know. I just saw that somewhere, I don't know. But I was like, yeah, I guess that was an issue, people not being able to go to the hair salon and get maintenance done or whatever. I have not needed to buy hair dye. So, that hasn't been an issue, but I haven't been able to get yeast and I would really feel better if I had one more bottle of hand sanitizer. But there is none of that to be found. Beth (17:34): But for the most part, everything that we've learned has been available. Just some of it in limited quantities, so you just have to be careful about how we use it. Steph (17:43): Yeah. I think that's the biggest thing is we've never had to live like that. I've never had to live where I'm needing to get tissues and can't find them. I just always ordered them on Amazon in a big pack and take forever to use them because I don't really use them a lot in general. Steph (17:59): So, yeah, that is a weird thing is like dog food was sold out everywhere for a long time. I just saw on Chewy that Max dog food was available. And so, I don't need a bag right now. But I ordered it. Because I was like, that will take that off my mind. Beth (18:13): Have you been able to get the gloves that you need for your work? Steph (18:16): No. But so instead of using the gloves we have, if we need gloves for something when we bring in an Amazon package or something, we're using poop bags for dogs when you pick up their poop? Steph (18:27): Well, they're perfect to put your hand in. And so, you can use it to cover your hand and then just throw them away. Because we have a lot of those. And so, that's kind of our substitute for gloves so we can keep the gloves when we really, really need them. Beth (18:39): Yeah, that's a good idea. The only time that I've not been able to buy facial tissues. Steph (18:45): Yeah. Beth (18:45): I just remembered this. The second time that Steve and I went to Russia, so the trip where we were going to be able to actually get custody of our son, we both got colds. And it's understandable, right? I mean, it was late December, early January, in Russia, it was cold. It was snowing. We're Floridians we have no idea what we're doing, probably not surprising. Beth (19:08): And we were going in and out of a maternity hospital every day. Not surprising, right? We would be exposed to germs. And so we both got colds and had not brought anything for that. So, we went to the little corner market, which was our only sort of source of supplies. We just bought all the tissue that they had, all the facial tissue. I started to say Kleenex. Whatever, you know what I mean? Steph (19:31): Yeah. Beth (19:32): All of it and they only had the little- Steph (19:34): Oh, like portable? Beth (19:35): ... rectangle travel pack? That thing? Because it was like, sort of going to a Circle K or a 7-Eleven, like that kind of a store. It wasn't a full on grocery store. So, we just bought them all because we were using them like crazy. We knew we would need them. Beth (19:53): We were there for two weeks. They never restocked. So, then we felt really bad because we're not the only people who have a cold. But now nobody in this neighborhood is going to have any facial tissue. But it was just like our American way, we're going to need these. And we didn't buy a case of them. We bought, they were probably four packs or something. That was the last time I couldn't just have easy access to facial tissues is when I was in Russia, in winter, in 2002. Steph (20:26): So, basically, we're all living in Russia in winter right now. That's what quarantine is. Beth (20:32): Or the other thing that this experience is kind of making me think of is with how different time is. A few years ago, when my dad passed away, I remember the week before he got sick, I remember my husband and I had a conversation about how our family schedule was especially crazy and we were sort of lamenting it. We were complaining about it. Beth (20:54): And then my dad got sick and went in the hospital and the doctor said you need to come and so everything stopped. I went first and then Steve and the kids came. And their school didn't matter. His work didn't matter. Nothing mattered except being present with my family in that time. My dad passed away, and we had his memorial service. And when we came home and things started to get back to normal, I remember reflecting on that and being like, wow, everything that seemed really important, all of a sudden was unimportant and things that I thought couldn't stop stopped and I ignored everything on my calendar and the world kept spinning. Beth (21:35): This feels like an extension of that experience. So, not only am I experiencing grief, because I'm sort of transported back to a time when grief was so present for me, but also is an extension of that time because everyone is having their calendar disrupted and having their routine disrupted. I don't know. Do you feel about at all? In some ways, it feels like time is stopping? Steph (22:04): Yeah. I mean, I feel like we as society is being forced to halt and stop everything. I mean, I wouldn't say it feels like time is standing still, but it does feel like it's like a forced, like you said like a tragedy in your life where when that happens, you can just like nothing matters. Your schedule doesn't matter, you throw it out the window. Steph (22:25): It kind of feels like that's happening on a grand scale, literally on a grand scale. I started watching this YouTube channel where they have a chateau in France and they're talking about how they can't work on that chateau at all because the DIY stores I think they called it are all closed. So, hardware stores are all close and they call it the lockdown. They're locked down. Steph (22:50): But they say it with fun accents. Obviously, I can't say it as well as they do. But I mean, the world is shut down. And so, yeah, I feel like it's kind of a forced break, forcing us all to kind of reevaluate things and examine things that we haven't before. Steph (23:09): A good thing though is there is signs that the environment is getting healthier. There's less cars out there on the roads. There's I think fish coming back in streams and things like that. So, if anything is positive, it's that the environment also gets a chance to rest from our havoc we do to it. Beth (23:27): Yeah. Do you think that maybe we could use this as an opportunity to rethink how we schedule ourselves and how we use resources? I am as anxious as everyone else for this to kind of be over and for us to get back to normal. But then part of me wonders if maybe a new normal would be better, healthier. Steph (23:48): Yeah. I think it is ultimately going to result in a lot of positives. I mean something I've been noticing on the news is they're like, when are we going to reopen? When is everyone going back to work? And they're making all these predictions. And I don't feel like it's time to do that. I mean, the government has said 30 days. We're not even outside of ... So end of April. We're in the middle of April right now. I think it's too soon to be saying, what that's going to look like. Steph (24:16): I think it's time to sit and reflect on today. So, I don't know. I definitely think positive things can come out of this and will come out of this. I think society is going to change in drastic ways. I do think something as simple as handshaking is not going to be the norm. At least I'm not going to be hand shaking. I think stuff like that. Steph (24:37): And especially, there's no easy answer to when this is going to be over. I mean, it's only over until we all have coronavirus or we have a vaccine. And when we say vaccine, once we have a vaccine, that doesn't mean we're done as well because like the flu, we know with the flu vaccine, people still get the virus. Steph (24:57): So, I think it's way too soon to say when this will be over and even what that means over. I don't know, I can't really predict the future. If I could, I think I would have stocked up on some more things in February. Beth (25:12): Facial tissues? Steph (25:13): Yeah, facial tissues. Beth (25:16): I mean, I know it's too soon to know when it'll be over. I think one of the positives that we can take out of it, or at least that I can take out of it, personally, is to rethink how I schedule myself and how I use resources. Because if it's possible to make a change like this, basically overnight, then maybe other changes that I thought were impossible, maybe they're actually possible. Steph (25:46): Yeah, that's a good answer, Beth. By the way, I miss seeing you. I miss looking across the table and seeing Beth. Beth (25:54): I know. Steph (25:56): I could say that, right? Beth (25:57): Yeah, I feel the same way. Steph (25:59): I feel like I can't because we're not talking. Beth (26:02): Yeah, we're not even able to do this like by FaceTime. Steph (26:04): I guess we could. It'd be too confusing. Beth (26:07): It'd be confusing. Steph (26:08): To get the audio right. Beth (26:10): Yeah, to get the audio right, we have to do it [crosstalk 00:26:12]. Steph (26:12): I should put a picture of you in front of me. And I should move it. Beth (26:16): You should. Steph (26:17): Or maybe you know what you could do is you could record yourself for an hour just kind of talking and I could put a video screen of you in front of me just talking when, oh, that's perfect. So, if you could just work on that for next week. Beth (26:30): Okay, I'll just put that on my to-do list, a random video. Sure. Steph (26:35): You can work on any day. I won't tell you the day you have to work on it because you won't even know what day it was anyway. Beth (26:40): But yeah, the days are sort of meaningless. Steph (26:42): Yeah, day, what is day? So, Beth, we're obviously talking a lot about our routines being adjusted and things like that. But I know at your house, you have some kids over there. So, how is their lives? What is their routine looking like? Beth (26:58): Their schedules are completely out of whack. I have not been making them get up at a certain time or go to bed at a certain time. I feel like they've lost a lot by not being able to be in school and not being able to see their friends. And especially my son, who's a senior, he doesn't get to go to Grad Bash at Universal Studios or go to prom, or probably he won't even get to have a graduation ceremony. Beth (27:23): So, really, he can stay up as late as he wants, right? This is the least that I can give him. So, you stay up later, then you sleep later. So, their schedules are completely off. There's one day this week, someday, I don't know what day, there's a day this week when I know, my daughter has to take a chemistry test. And the test is only going to be available online between a certain number of hours. Beth (27:48): It's a big span, between 8:00 AM and 5:00 PM or something like that. And I'm already like, okay, I got to write myself a note or put a reminder on my phone to make sure that she is up and does the test and those kinds of things are really especially difficult because other than that, they really have no schedule. Beth (28:11): And their assignments for school have these long lead times now. We got an email from my daughter's Spanish teacher yesterday and she's like, I posted the assignments, they have two weeks to get them done. The two weeks is way longer than they would normally have to do their schoolwork. Beth (28:31): But also if she said, "Turn it around in 24 hours," that would create such stress and anxiety that it would be miserable. So, she's doing the right thing. She's doing the best that she can. But yeah, their schedules are completely different than what they were in the beginning of March or even in the middle of March. I mean, it just is so different now. And they have freedom in terms of their schedule, but they don't have freedom of movement. I mean, they can't just go hang out with friends and they can't just have friends over. Steph (29:07): Thank you for joining us on today's show. I thought we've kept you up to date on what we've been binge watching for the last couple episodes. So, I figured we should continue that. What do you think, Beth? Beth (29:19): Yeah, what are you binge watching? You have something really good? Steph (29:23): I think last week, I was telling you that I had finished Gilmore Girls and wasn't sure what to watch. Well, I have found, I'm pretty sure a lot of people have seen this show so, it's not like it's a brand new thing. Beth (29:35): It's not a new discovery? Steph (29:35): No. My mom watched it a while back. She told me about it. And it sounded crazy. And I was like, okay, great. She did an accurate description of it actually now that I've seen it. It's way more funny though to watch it than just hear her talk about it. Beth (29:49): Wait, I almost don't want you to say the title. I just want you to describe the show and see if I can guess what it is. Steph (29:54): Okay. I think you might have talked about it before. Okay, first of all, it's all Canadian actors, which is super fun because they all say sorry in a weird way. You know Canadians how they say sorry, they say like, sorry. It's so funny and it's cute. So, like they all say sorry. So funny. It makes me laugh every time. They are rich people that didn't pay their taxes, and so all things are taken away. Beth (30:19): Oh, Schitt's Creek. Steph (30:19): Yes. Have you seen it? Beth (30:21): Yeah. Steph (30:22): Do you love it? Beth (30:24): Oh, okay. Steph (30:24): Beth. Beth (30:25): No. Steph (30:25): It is the best show ever. Beth (30:26): I have tried twice to watch it. I've tried twice to start it. And I just can't get into it. Steph (30:35): Why? Beth (30:35): And I so badly want to, and part of the reason that I so badly want to is it was, again I'm losing track of time, a week or so ago, the creator of that show, his mom tweeted that she wished she could go back to the 1980s when she was so worried about her son who loves to twirl and she was worried about how the big bad world would treat him. Beth (31:01): And that she wishes she could go back to herself in the '80s and say, "Hey, he's going to take on the big bad world and he's going to be okay." And that made me want to try again, but I just don't know. Tell me what you love about it. Steph (31:14): Okay. So, first of all, the first episode I was kind of like, oh, this is going to be not great, but it's hilarious. It's so funny. The characters, they're definitely playing like stereotypes but in a really funny way. I don't know. I love the mom. I think her accent and the way she pronounces words is like the greatest and also I love that the mom, she played the mom in Home Alone. That's how I recognize her. Beth (31:46): Right. That's right, yeah. Steph (31:47): She does not seem like she's had a work done on her face. She looks her age. And I love that. It's so refreshing because so many actresses, older actresses have so much work done and they don't have expressions. They can't really show emotion because they have Botox it out of their face and so I love that, that she looks like she hasn't had work done and she's like so expressive. She's just so funny. Steph (32:09): I also love that it's kind of like a small town who you would assume is not accepting of all types of people. So, like the son is, well, he's pansexual is what he says but essentially gay, because he ultimately gets married to a man. Beth (32:30): Spoiler alert. Steph (32:31): Sorry, oh my gosh, sorry. No, he doesn't. No, that doesn't happen, maybe. I don't know. You should watch the show. It's really good. But the town is so accepting without even like ... And I listened to the creator talk about it. The creator, the two creators are actually the actors, and the dad in the show and the son in the show. They created it together. He said that they wanted to kind of project a world that we want to live in, like where people just accept people without having that time period of like, judgmental and that kind of stuff. And it's so refreshing. It really is. Steph (33:05): I didn't really notice it at first, but then I kind of was like, no one's questioning this and no one's saying anything. They're just like, accepting and it's just so refreshing. It's just like a fun romp, funny and it's easy to follow and it's light. And it's not super deep. It's not super raunchy or super, really harsh language. It just is very inviting and fun and freeing and a great escape. Beth (33:29): Did it catch you from the first episode though? Steph (33:33): The first episode I was not a huge fan, but I kind of was intrigued and it seemed light. And I was like, "Okay, let me try this." And then, it probably took me maybe five episodes to be like, I'm hooked. Because a lot of stuff, especially in the first season, a lot of stuff kind of happens that you're like, okay, this is a little much, but it gets better. It gets way better. I think, I don't know what the best season is. Steph (33:56): And there's only 13 episodes in each season. So, I'm actually done. It took me about a week and I'm done. But there's one season, season six is the latest season that literally just finished and that's not on Netflix right now. So, I'm probably going to buy it on some kind of service so I can watch it because it's not streaming anywhere yet. Steph (34:13): It could just be that I think anything that's not pandemic related is great. I'm unsure. Beth (34:18): Yeah. Steph (34:19): I don't know if my taste have changed where I'm just like, it's something, an escape. I love it. So, who knows? But it's called Schitt's Creek and it sounds like a curse word, but it's an actual real person's last name. If you look it up in the phonebook, there are people with the last name Schitt, sorry about that. Beth (34:35): Yeah, S-C-H-I-T-T. Steph (34:38): Yes. Beth (34:38): S-C-H. Steph (34:39): Also, there are people with the last name Crapps because in Live Oak, where I used to live, there was people that owned some businesses, it was called like Craps Pharmacy and Crapps other thing and you're like, "Oh, no. That's unfortunate." Beth (34:52): That's two Ps, right? Steph (34:54): I don't know actually. I just know it's Crapps. But they owned a lot of businesses like that is an unfortunate last name for owning businesses. Beth (35:00): Well, maybe I'll give it another try. Thanks for the recommendation. Steph (35:03): Please, give it another try, Beth. Watch at least through season five and then let me know what you think. Beth (35:10): Through season five?! I can't make that kind of a commitment. Steph (35:13): It's only 13 episodes per season and they're half an hour. Come on. You can watch that in a night. You have nothing else to do, Beth. Beth (35:21): Thirteen episodes, at half an hour. Steph (35:24): Really 20 minutes. Beth (35:25): That's six and a half hours. Steph (35:26): Well, oh look, I can do math. I'm Beth. Beth (35:31): I haven't watched this one either. But another friend recommended a show called Money Heist on Netflix. Have you watched that one? Steph (35:38): I have not watched that. Is it funny? Beth (35:39): I don't know. Steph (35:41): I only want funny right now. I don't want drama. I don't want a lot to pay attention to. I want funny, light. Beth (35:47): Yeah, well, I don't know. I can't speak to it. Steph (35:50): Because your recommendation for me, I'm not even going to attempt to watching Ozark. I am sorry. Beth (35:54): Oh, that was so good. I'm so sad it's over. Steph (35:58): One day I will watch it, but not pandemic day. Anyways, we've asked you in previous episodes to share a story about kind of this time period for you and one of our previous guests, Lori K., actually called in and she had something really interesting to say that I wanted to play for you right now. And here we go. Let's listen to Lori. Lori Keller (36:20): Hey Steph and Beth. Lori Keller from Tallahassee. I just wanted to reply to your episode from March 20th, the first one on the coronavirus. We were traveling, my husband and I were traveling also, we've taken our motor home to Hilton Head and felt safe we were going to be in our own space and we could take groceries along and I called the grocery store ahead of time to make sure that everything was so good and they said yes except for toilet paper and paper towels and disinfecting wipes and we had those with us. Lori Keller (36:53): By Tuesday, the restaurants started closing and were only open for carry out and we still felt safe but then as we saw the beaches getting emptier, which is really unusual for that time of year and stores closing, we were isolating kind of even more, easy to stay away from people. But by the end of that week actually, on Friday the 20th, we made the decision that we were going to leave a little bit early. We left on the 21st and headed home. Lori Keller (37:24): And the feeling I have in all of this is very similar to when I was diagnosed with cancer and didn't have the plan, the treatment plan in place yet. And I didn't like that in between feeling. Once I had the plan, I was fine. Go, let's go with it. Let's get this thing done. But I'm feeling like I'm in that in between stage right now. There's a lot to plan for my job, for children's ministries. If things open up, we can do again. But if not, here, we're doing all this planning and then it won't happen. I don't like this. Lori Keller (38:05): So, what I'm relying on every day is that Serenity Prayer. I've learned to let go as best I can and I'm definitely doing it every single day and living this day. But it's not easy. And I'm just going to say it's tough. It's really tough. Not knowing what to do, what not to do, and how to live in this new world. Thanks. Steph (38:30): Thank you, Lori. That was awesome. So, Lori mentioned the Serenity Prayer, which if you go back to our episode about Celebrate Recovery CR, we talked about Serenity Prayer, but it's just a great kind of mantra to be able to say in this crazy time. And so, yeah, I thought that was great. Beth, what do you think of her voicemail? Beth (38:52): Well, I think that she makes a really good point about how it's hard when we don't have a plan and because we don't know when this is going to end, it's really hard. It's hard to make plans. And that adds a whole another layer of frustration. And it's uncomfortable to be reminded that life is outside of our control. Steph (39:18): Yeah. Beth (39:18): And yet every day I feel like we're reminded of that. So, it made total sense to me when she likened this to her to the time period when she had her diagnosis of cancer but didn't yet have her treatment plan. It's like, "What do I do? I'm in this place where I can't control anything and where everything is unknown, and I don't know what's coming next. And I don't like that." Steph (39:42): At the end of each show, we like to end with Questions For Reflection. These are questions based on today's show, and Beth is going to read them and leave a pause between each and you can find a PDF of them on our website. Beth (39:56): #1: I think back to March 1st. Did your life feel hectic? How does that compare with how you feel now? #2: These days how is your weekend different from your workweek? #3: Have you ever experienced a time when your calendar didn't matter, a death in the family or an illness or something like that? How does this experience compare to that time? #4: Will this experience change how you manage your calendar in the future? Steph (40:34): This has been the Discovering Our Scars podcast. Thank you for joining us. Quotable
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Meet StephMental Health Advocate. Author. Podcast Host. DIYer. Greyhound Mom. 
Meet BethI'm a mom who laughs a lot, mainly at myself. #UMC Pastor, recent Seminary grad, public speaker, blogger, and sometimes lawyer. Learning to #LiveLoved. 
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