Episode Summary
According to Myers-Briggs, Steph is an ISTJ. Beth is an ESFJ. What’s it like when an introvert and an extrovert try to create together? How does the introvert make sure she’s heard? How does the extrovert make sure she’s listening? These personality tendencies can be overcome, but how? In this episode, we explore how extroverts and introverts both gain energy and how they can do that without diminishing or belittling the other. You’ll also hear Steph have a physical reaction to Beth’s declaration that she enjoys small talk. And, Beth admits she thought interrupting people was a way to show interest.
Show NotesQuestions for Reflection
Each episode we offer you a few prompts to think about how that day's conversation applies to you. You might pause the podcast and answer them right then and there, but if you keep a journal (Steph and Beth both do), you might find one of these PDFs useful. Choose the orientation that fits best in your journal.
Transcript
Beth:
Welcome to the Discovering Our Scars podcast. Steph: Where we have honest conversations about things that make us different. I'm Steph. Beth: And I'm Beth. Steph: I've been in recovery for 13 plus years and recently wrote a book, Discovering My Scars, about my mental health struggles, experiences and faith. Beth: I'm a lawyer turned pastor who is all about self-awareness and emotional health because I know what it's like to have neither of those things. Steph: Beth and I have been friends for six years, have gone through a recovery program together. And when I wanted to start a podcast, she was the only name that came to my mind as co-host. Beth: I didn't hesitate to say yes because I learned a lot from honest conversations with Steph over the years. Steph: We value honest conversations and we hope you do too. Beth: That's why we do this and why we want you to be part of what we are discussing today. What is our topic today, Steph? Steph: Well Beth today we have titled this episode: "Beth, you're draining me, introvert versus extrovert." Beth: So when you say "we" have titled the episode that ... Steph: We agreed, right? Beth: Yeah, we agreed. Steph: And it is a little bit of a funny title. I don't mean you're draining me, Beth. We're referring to introverts and extroverts and how they gain energy and that's basically what we're going to talk about today. One of my missions in life is to change how people look and perceive introverts because I've had so many people, I've been in conversation with people and I'm talking to them, someone new and it just happens to come up that I'm an introvert and they say, "Oh, you're not an introvert. Look how much you're talking to me!" And I just say, oh, bless your heart. I say it in my head. It's frustrating to me because I think people are using the words incorrectly, and well, I know they're using it incorrectly in a lot of ways. So I want to talk about really what introvert and extrovert mean and how being an introvert is not a debilitating diagnosis of any sorts, Beth: Nor is being an extrovert. It is also not a, and there's also nothing wrong with being an extrovert. Steph: Because you're just a little extra and nothing wrong with that. Beth: On behalf of extroverts everywhere I say "we are okay and we are okay with introvert being introverts." Steph: Thank you. I was gonna say, and you applaud us as well? You see the need for us as well. Beth: Of course. Steph: Okay, thank you. Beth: Yes, together we make the world go round introverts and extroverts together. Extroverts doing all the talking, introverts doing all the listening. Steph: But I'd like to say something Beth. Oh look, you left some space for me to talk. Thank you. Oh, you're a good extrovert. Well, I wanted to start by talking about where this comes from. Like do you just determine you're an introvert and extrovert? I think you could, I guess by reading about it, but for me, the way I learned really about this--and this is a introvert and extrovert is a personality trait. It's not something that you necessarily can change about yourself. It's, it's your natural tendencies. And the I learned about it is from a test, a psychological test called the Myers Briggs test report? Beth: I think it's actually the Myers Briggs Personality Inventory. Steph: Got It. There you go. See, that's what it's called. But I just call it--if you Google Myers-Briggs, it will come up. But it's a test that anyone can take. You can Google it and find it. I actually, I've taken it three times in my lifetime. I took it first in 2004 and I believe my dad gave me the test cause I was curious about my personality type. And he's a psychologist so he, and that's what he does is he gives tests. So he had access to it and then I took it, um, another time. And then I took it in 2011 with, I did some leadership training at my job with Apple and we took the test in every single time I've come up with the same exact four personality characteristics which is ISTJ. Beth: Well, I will say that I also have taken it many times. I took it most recently in 2017 and I was an ESFJ. So e or I extrovert, introvert. So I came out pretty much all the way over on the extrovert scale. You came out pretty much all the way on the introvert. Steph: Oh no, there's no other way to go beyond where I am. I'm as introverted as you can. Beth: And then the n would be Intuitive. Uh, the s would be Sensing the t would be Thinking f would be Feeling j is Judging, p is Perceiving. So say again what you are. Steph: I'm an ISTJ. Beth: And I'm an ESFJ, although my one, one of mine changes from time to time. Steph: We're not gonna get into the details of the other letters today we're really gonna focus on the, the I and the E. But I do encourage you anytime, I love any kind of tests that help me learn more about myself. There's a lot of other tests out there that you can take and kind of get an idea of yourself. I always encourage that. I love to take them and kind of get an idea of the type of personality and learn about people in my life as well because that helps me communicate with them better. Beth: Yeah. And it's meant to be descriptive. It's not meant to be prescriptive or predictive. So it's not meant to tell you this is who you have to be. It's just, it's like being right-handed or left-handed. Steph: Yeah. Exactly. Beth: This is just your preference. Steph: This is your natural tendencies. Yeah, exactly. So let's really dig into introvert and extrovert. That's a big thing for me is what it really means. I think there's this misnomer that it means that you are really talkative or you are really shy. You can talk to anybody, you aren't able to talk to other people. Is that accurate, Beth? Beth: No, that's not what it's about. So people will think, well, an extrovert is someone who's outgoing and an introvert is someone who is shy. But actually what these describe is really how do you get energy? Are you more energized when you are around people or are you more energized when you have time alone? Steph: Exactly. So for me, I have no problem being around large groups of people. I don't enjoy it in the sense of I am excited and like, oh, Yay, people talking, talking, I'm going to stay out all night. The more I'm around groups, bigger groups of people, the more I just feel drained. And it's not that I don't enjoy that time, but I feel like, okay, it's time for me to be by myself. And when I'm by myself, I recharge and I get my energy back and I, that's for me how I like to recharge. Like my phone. Beth: Yeah. And I recharge by being with large groups of people. Like I pull energy from other people, which actually sounds kind of awful. It makes me sound like I'm draining other people's batteries, which I don't mean to do. It's just, well, Steph: And that's where the title comes from is it's a little, it's a little bit of a joke because you don't really do that to me. You know, Beth, you're draining me. We're basically extroverts can, yeah, extroverts can drain introverts easily if not both being self-aware. Beth: Right. True. One sort of shorthand that, I don't know if this works scientifically, but I wonder if as people are thinking about, am I an introvert or an extrovert? One of the things that we've talked about is watching TV, you know, or, or like watching Netflix. Do you want to do that alone or do you want to do it with a group of people? And I think it's more fun with a group of people and I like that we like would interact as things were happening and I get the sense that that wouldn't be fun for you. Steph: My very favorite show still to this day is Gilmore girls. I love that thing. And I used to watch it when it was like the episodes were new when it was first showing. And my mom liked the show too, but I wouldn't let her watch it with me because it was such my favorite show that I didn't want. I don't like watching shows with people, because their reactions can influence what my reaction will be. And so I'm not sure if my reaction is a real reaction that I really feel or if I'm, it's based on their reaction. So that's why I don't like to watch shows with them. So I don't know if that's an introvert and extrovert thing, but that's why I like watching things alone. So I don't-- Beth: But if you have the same reaction, a shared reaction, isn't that exciting? Steph: Yeah, I guess it could be exciting. But again, like for me when we were talking earlier, we're talking about like for me, I could be alone all day and be like, I am good. This was a good day. But for you, what's the max you could be alone. Beth: I mean, I really don't want to be alone for more than a couple of hours at a time. Steph: And if I had to be with people like every couple of hours, oh, I was just thinking about that. Like, oh my goodness, being forced to do that. No, I don't enjoy that. Which is why I really love being self employed and working from home because I am not forced to have those daily interactions. Although I like people, I don't want this to sound like, you know--I do like people but I like them in certain certain amounts. Beth: Yeah. Because that's not how you get your energy. That's not what recharges your batteries. Steph: Exactly. And when I have more energy I can get more done and I just have a more productive day. Beth: So you just mentioned that you are self employed and so you get to work alone a lot, but that hasn't always been the case. You know, you've worked in corporate America, you've worked for nonprofits. So has there ever been a time when this was an issue for you at work? You know, being an introverted person? Steph: Yeah. It's actually pretty interesting when after I took the test and realize I was a introvert, which I knew then I was really just curious about the people around me and the people I worked with. And something that really stood out to me is my, my a store leader at Apple was an extrovert, super-extroverted, like as much as an introvert, I was on one side, he was all the way opposite on the other side. And what I started to notice is we would be in a meeting together, one-on-one meeting, and he would not stop talking. He would just keep talking and talking and talking. And I never could get a get a word in because he was always talking. And as an introvert I need space. I'm not gonna interrupt because I think that's rude and I need space to actually say what I'm saying. And so what I noticed about him and being an extreme extrovert is he said anything that popped in his head. So for me, I as an introvert, I think through and process in my head what I'm going to say. And then I say it, I don't process things out loud, but he did process out loud. And he eventually, as as I, when I would finally get a word in, he would say, "wow, oh well that's a great idea. Oh my goodness. Wow." And he would start to realize when he gave me that space, I had really good ideas and I had something to share. We started to learn each other. He would stop talking. He would say, "I'm going to stop talking now because I know you have something that you need to say and it's going to be great." And he would allow me the process time and he then would allow me to say it. And so we actually got a really good working relationship going when we took the time to understand each other because at first he was overwhelming to me because he was so there. I mean I was getting drained, just trying to keep up. Because as, as an introvert like I want to take in everything he's saying but he doesn't necessarily, everything he's saying is not something I need to take in. And he knows that and he is just processing out loud. But I'm trying to take it all in and process it myself. And then, and then I'm just drained because I've had used all this brainpower. And so he started to learn that he needs to stop talking so that I can process my stuff and then say it. And then we had a really good working relationship. That was one of the hard things to leave my job at Apple was I was leaving, you know, working with him and the kind of great relationship we had created. And so that was like my first big instance working with an extrovert on our personality types, like actually being in tune to that and not just like stomping over each other, but really having a mutual respect for each other and trying to understand each other so that we could work together better. And ultimately because we both brought something different to the table, like we had really great ideas because we were able to work together. And I think there's so much value in all different types of personalities coming to the table and not just a whole group of extroverts, a whole group of introverts, but having, having that balance in understanding each other. Beth: When I started seminary, this, the very first thing that we did together pretty much was everybody had to take Myers Briggs and they actually divided the room. Like the extroverts had to stand on one side and the introverts had to stand on the other side. But one of the things that I learned as we kind of moved through this process of understanding our personality types is: as an extrovert, if I'm interrupting someone to me, I'm trying to communicate, oh, I'm really interested in what you're saying. What I learned is that introverts think being interrupted is rude. Of course they think it's rude, like it is rude, but as an extrovert, I wasn't intending to be rude. I really was trying to show interest. And so I have trained myself to not interrupt and to at least apologize if I make a mistake and I interrupt, but to really be intentional about communicating the fact that I am listening, but to communicate that without words because people don't like to be interrupted apparently. Steph: And that's something that I've noticed about you, Beth. Actually, we talked about this, you know, a little while back we talked about, I asked you, I said, are you an introvert or extrovert? Because I didn't know because you've done so much work trying to learn how to listen well and talk well with an introvert. And so I really appreciate that, that you have recognized, oh, these are things I need to work on and I want to work on them and I want to be able to have conversations with all different types of people. So I applaud you for that. You've done so well that I didn't even know that you were so extroverted. Now I now I know. She's very extra and it's in the best of ways. Beth: Well thank you. Thank you. I have tried. It does just go to show like you can learn it, you can always learn something new, but you can learn the advantages and disadvantages of your-- Steph: I apologize if you hear some whining that is my dog. She needs to be petted and I'm so sorry. I will pet her now. Go talk Beth. Beth: Today she's an extrovert and today she needs attention. So yeah, you can, you can learn how to--you can learn the strengths and weaknesses of all the aspects of your personality and you can really try to address those. And that's why self awareness is so great because it can improve your interpersonal relationships and that makes everything better, I think. So do you have a pet peeve about how introverts are perceived? Because I definitely have a pet peeve about how extroverts are perceived. Steph: I feel like introverts are sometimes seen as less than and are not valued in in work settings and situations because it takes a little bit of time to understand an introvert. It takes a little bit of time to get to know us and to be able to hear our brilliance. And I feel like sometimes the world, the society, we're so fast paced that introverts can get pushed aside. There is value in introverts, we bring a lot to the table. There's a lot of really famous, important people in history that are introverts. There's just as much as there are extroverts. All right, Beth. So you said you had something. So the question was, do you think extroverts are perceived in a certain way? Or a pet peeve? Beth: Well, my pet peeve would be that extroverts are perceived as always being extra, as in too much. And I don't think that that necessarily has to be the case. I do think it's not okay to interrupt people and I had to learn that, but I could learn it and I think other people can learn it too. And there are, um, there are, there are good things about being an extrovert. I think that we are pretty good at lightening the mood when it needs to be lightened. I think that we are easy to be friends with because, um, well I mean we will provide all the words. Nobody has to even provide the words. We will do all of that. But yeah, my pet peeve would be that we're perceived as too much. Steph: When you were saying that reminded me of that I have a group of 10 ladies from high school that we were just really, really good friends and we called ourselves "The Ten Ladies" because hey, that was cute. It's still cute. We still hang out. But one of our friends is--we're all pretty introverted and one of our friends is pretty extroverted and she was the one that brought us all together. If she hadn't, if it hadn't been for her, we wouldn't have been friends. Like when we traced back it's like, oh yeah, she brought us to her. So yeah, there's so much value in having extroverts, especially in a friend group to kind of bring you all together and remind you guys to hang out and get out of your heads. Come on, let's be together. So yes, I have some, some good extroverts in my life, you being one of them. Beth: Thank you. And the extrovert is going to be driven to do that because they get energy by having the whole group together. And so they're motivated to get everyone to spend time together. So it is good to have at least one extrovert in your, in your friend group. Is there a difference then in how we feel about small talk? Like I, I love small talk. Steph: GASP Beth: I'm happy to just walk up to someone. Steph: Oh my gosh. Oh goodness. I've never heard someone say they love small talk. Really? Is that true? Beth: [laughing] You just had a very physical reaction. Steph: It was almost vomit. Yes, you're right. It's like the worst small talk. Sorry, go ahead. Ask the question. Beth: Yeah, no small. I mean, small talk is enjoyable to me. I like, like to just catch up with someone or, or just, you know, I don't mind just talking about the weather or how they feel about the weather or do they really love humidity? You know, people have very strong feelings about humidity and I have to say I really love humidity. So like I get off the plane in Tallahassee and I'm always like, "Yay air I can drink." Like, this is the way air should be. And other people don't feel that way about humidity. I really am happy to make small talk. Steph: Beth, I just learned so many new things about you today in this one moment, and I'm just like trying to step back. Wow. Wow. Number one, small talk is the worst to me. I try to avoid small talk at every single step. I can tell when I talk about the weather, it pains me so much. I do talk about it because you have to do small talk in some ways, but when my Barista asked me, you know, how was your weekend? Oh my gosh. First of all, you want me to remember back two days? That's tough. Second of all, second of all, you don't care. Beth: Why do you think that your Barista doesn't care how your weekend was? Steph: I just don't know that they really care. Maybe they do. Maybe they do. Beth: I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that most Baristas are extroverts. I'm just gonna. It might not be true. It might be true. Somebody could call in and tell us that I'm way off on this, but I'm going to guess based on my personal experience and interactions that most of them are extroverts and so when they're like, "hey, how was your weekend?" They really do want to know like, hey, did you have a good weekend? It doesn't mean that they want to know, you know an agenda of everything you did, but-- Steph: But that's part of the problem too is they want a little chunk, a little nugget of information that they can then talk some more about and I just don't think in little chunk nugget, small talks. I'm like, well this week it like, and then I think, do they really want to know how much time do we have? Should I really tell them or should I just say it was good? Oh what'd you do? And then I might have, I don't know. Small back is hard for me. So I don't know if that's a normal thing, but it is for me. And also? Humidity? Girl. No! There is nothing good about humidity besides, you don't have to shower because you shower when you walk outside. Just like how moist can it be out here? I'm not a big fan, but I tolerate it cause I'm from Florida. Beth: I think humidity is great in a lot of ways. I really prefer humidity. Steph: You know, we should do an episode about humidity because you enjoy small talk. That would be our, um, episode would just all be about the small talk of humidity and I will probably not be in part of that episode because ... boring! To me small talk is very passive and it's things people don't care about. That's how I look at small talk. So for me, I try to avoid it as much as I can. I want to have a conversation with somebody, but I want it to be a real conversation. So like I try not to small talk with my friends. I try to always have something that I can ask them that I'm generally interested in. So like if I saw like on, you know, Facebook that they, you know, just grew loofahs--my friend has a loofah plant. Beth: I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I do have to. That's a thing? Like you can grow loofah? Steph: Yes, you can grow loofah. She did it and has done it and she has like a lot of loofah. I know how exciting I want some loofah now. Beth: Yeah me too. Steph: But see, so I would ask her about the loofah, I wouldn't ask her about the weather unless the weather was impacted. The loofah was impacted by the weather. You know, you don't know. To me, if I know that she grows loofah and I ask her about it, then that is not small talk. That is having a genuine conversation. Because I'm genuinely interested in it because I saw it on Facebook. Beth: It was interesting to me that you, that small talk to you, you're trying to process a lot of things. When the Barista says, how was your weekend? You're thinking, how much time do we have? How much do they really want to know? Wait, what did I do this weekend? Wait, was it good? Like you're processing-- Steph: Is that not normal? Because that happens every single time is I don't, do you not do that? Beth: Right. So I wonder if that is a difference between introverts and extroverts where I'm just like immediately going to go with my gut answer and I may verbally process it to the point that I've said something different by the time I get around to the end of the conversation, right? It'd be like, yeah, I had a great weekend. Oh No, you know what happened? I had to go to a funeral and that wasn't great. Like I don't, I don't know. I don't mind just saying the first thing that comes to mind. Steph: It's just, it's like a puppy. It's just like whatever. I'm excited about life and I'll tell you about it. Beth: So maybe I am a little extra, hmmm Steph: In the best way though. I don't see extra as always negative. Beth: So you think that society perceives extroverts as being in some ways better, but as an extrovert, I think society sees introverts as being better, that introverts are more thoughtful and that means that they're smarter. Steph: Well, I gotta tell you, Beth, I can't, um, I can't say no to that. That sounds very accurate to me. I, yeah, I can't say that I see it that way because I guess I'm only seeing it through introverted eyes. I see the opposite of that. I see society thinking extroverts are great. Beth: Maybe the right expression is the grass is always greener on the other side. Steph: We think, Beth: We think, yeah, Steph: Society perceives the other side's grass greener than our side. Beth: So have you had to teach the extroverts in your life like me? Have you had to teach us how to have a conversation? Steph: I have spent the time trying to educate extroverts on how to talk to me and me figuring out how to talk to them. Like I mentioned with my boss. A lot of the times I will identify an extrovert in my life, especially if it's someone new in my life. I'll identify them and I usually can identify it because I'm feeling drained at the end of having an interaction with them. And so that's something that I try to be self aware of. If they're not necessarily changing their habits, I will try to change mine and just be very aware and set boundaries. Because I want them to be friends. You know, I like being friends with them, but I'll set boundaries where I'll have like at a certain time I will make sure I leave at a certain time, you know, I will set up times to interact with them where I know that I have a an out and I'm not kind of stuck and feeling like I'm just getting too drained. But I do have extroverts in my life and I have a couple of self-aware extroverts in my life. One is staring at me right now and I really appreciate having people with different personality types in my life because I feel like that brings a lot of value and I can see the world in a whole different way through their eyes. And my Celebrate Recovery sponsor, she's an extrovert too. She is like more extroverted than you, like crazy extroverted. Which seems like when think about it, I'm like, how do we work? But we work, it's perfect. She's like amazing and exactly what I need in a sponsor. So I really appreciate the extroverts I have in my life. Beth: Yeah, she's self aware enough that her extroversion doesn't get in your way. Steph: Exactly. Yeah. So do you tend to gravitate towards extroverted friends, introverted? Does that come into play when you are looking at new friends? Beth: Well, as I sit here and think about it, I think most of my friends are introverts. Steph: Interesting. Beth: I don't know why that is. Steph: Because they give you a lot of space to talk? Beth: Maybe. Steph: That's an interesting question. I wonder if you ask extroverts in general, if more of their friends are introverts. I would say most of my friends are introverts, actually. For me, I like having introverted friends because it's like no pressure. It's like after I spend time with them--although when it's two introverts, sometimes it's like we don't have a lot to talk about because like we're thinking so much that we're just, there's just silence because we're just processing, which is refreshing for my brain. I can just process and sit with another person. So for me it's just like, it's easy to be friends with introverts. Beth: My husband is an introvert and I have two kids, one of whom I would describe as an introvert. My daughter's an introvert and my son is an extrovert and he's very extra and I love that about him. And even when he was little, he had a really big personality and I would always say, "Hey, I'd rather have a kid with a lot of personality that I have to like reign in than a kid who I'm like sticking with a stick. Like get out there make friends"-- Steph: Are you poking your daughter with a stick? Is that what you're saying? Beth: No, I don't know. I think that she's just always been very sweet, so I've never felt like she needed a push, but she did recently go through a big change. Changing schools and she has had to really put the effort out to be like, okay, I am going to make a friend today. I'm going to learn someone's name today. And she is incredibly self aware and so she knew that on her own without me having to say, this is really what you need to do. Seeing an introvert change schools is harder than seeing an extrovert change schools. Right. Because I'm like, oh, the extrovert is fine. He's, he's going to talk the ears off 10 people today. Steph: That's interesting. That reminds me of when I started college at UCF, I remember intentionally being like, okay, I need to put myself out there. I want to meet New People, I'm going to learn the names. That's a problem for me too is remembering people's names. I don't know if that's just a normal thing, but I like, I'm trying to think of what I'm going to say next that I can never remember their name. So I remember intentionally trying to do that and I did. I did make some friends. It was a lot of work, but I was ready for it. I was almost like, I was like, you know, going to the gym, I'm gonna do this. I, I got it. Okay. Flex my brain. What's your name? Hi! Beth: Right flex that extroverted muscle. Steph: That's a good point you brought up. That is something that I hear people say is, "Oh, you're being so extroverted right now." I don't feel like when I'm talking to people or interacting with people that I'm being more extroverted. I consider it being more outgoing. That's the term I like to use because I am not getting more energy when I am talking to more people. So it doesn't change me to be an extrovert, but I can be more outgoing. I am actually a shy introvert. So that's, I got, you know, I like being by myself and I'm shy in general. So it is tough for me in social situations, but I can be, I can be outgoing and I can talk to people and I can have honest conversations with them, which is what I love to do the most is to have real conversations with people and get to know them on a personal level and not just the, the weather conversations. So when are you introverted, Beth? Beth: Well, I'm always an extrovert, that's who I am. But there are times when I choose to be alone or quiet or contemplative and there are a lot of times that in order to get work done, I need to be by myself and needing to be thinking and focus. It doesn't mean I'm introverted then I'm still an extrovert. It just means that I'm alone. Steph: You're not getting energy from being alone. You're not getting energy from that set. You're probably getting more drained by working alone. Beth: Yes. This just reminded me of a funny story. Well, I think it's funny. So, so the very first day, the very first activity at seminary is that you have an orientation cause it's a whole new school and a whole new program and all that. So I walked into what is a small lecture hall, but it's the biggest lecture hall at this particular school. And I walk in and the room is almost empty. There are two people in the room. I just saw one person and I just went over and I sat literally right next to him. And to this day he teases me about that cause he's an introvert, right? And I was an extrovert and I was being extra and I went over and I was like, "Hey, I'm Beth, it's great to meet you. What brings you to seminary?" Steph: Did you ask their name first before you said it's nice to meet you? Beth: Probably. I probably paused. Steph: "What's your name?" Beth: And let him say his name. Um, but to this day it's like he'll, he'll even like say on Facebook, like, Beth, you don't have to use all the words and I'll be like, but there are so many words. I want to use all the words. Don't you miss me giving you all my words? Because on that very first day I just like literally there was so much space in the classroom and I didn't give this person any personal space at all. I went and sat right next to him. Steph: But you're still friends today? Beth: Well, I am friends with him. Steph: So it was always this like you just like fitting your way in there. Beth: Well and then they, what they do is um, they actually put you in small groups together and it's randomly assigned. But he and I ended up in a small group together and so we, we really have become friends. But yeah, it's still fun to, to tease him about that because he is very introverted. Which surprises me when I meet a pastor who is introverted because that is an extroverted profession the way that, the way that I see, cause you've got to interact with a lot of people, you have to preach, you know, you're leading worship. So you're really out there in a lot of ways. Well, it surprises me how many pastors are actually introverts. They don't get energy from those parts of their calling or their job. Music: [inaudible] Steph: Thank you for joining us today on Discovering Our Scars. We want to remind you that you are welcome to leave a five star review for our podcast. We would so love and appreciate that all you need to do is open the Apple Podcast App and scroll to the bottom of our podcast section and there'll be five stars. All I have to do is hit that fist star and that's it. Done. You've rated us. If you want to give four, we are not saying you can't, but we would really love that. Fifth one a little bit more. Beth: That fifth star is not going to cost you anything. So we invite you to click on the fifth star. Also feel free to leave us a review and tell others what you're enjoying about these honest conversations. It helps others find us on iTunes and helps others be part of our honest conversations. Steph: And we want to remind you the test that we talked about till find out what kind of personality type you have. It's called the Myers Briggs something or other, but Google Myers Briggs, and we'll also put a link to it in the show notes so you can take that and learn about yourself as well. Beth: I also want to share with you that we're going to have a very special guest on our next episode. We actually will be joined by Vicki, who is the other part of DIY For Homeowners. She's Steph's mom and she's going to talk to us about all sorts of things and I think that it'll be a great honest conversation. Vicki, like Steph, is good at honest conversation, so I hope that you'll tune in for that one. Steph: At the end of each of our shows, we ask you all a question that we would love to hear you call in and answer and we actually have someone that called in this week, so we're going to play that for you right now. Caller: Hey, Stephanie and Beth, this is LaDon. I have a funny story, so I should on Beth, about a week ago, telling her there was this great show that she should watch and then I saw that they had just released a new podcast called don't should yourself, so sorry for shoulding on you. I really, really like this show and I think you would enjoy it too, Beth. That also, I will answer a previous question. I like to listen to your podcasts when I'm cooking or cleaning the kitchen or if I'm in bed at night and my husband's asleep and I can't sleep so I'll plug you in quietly. And sometimes I'll even listen to the podcast in a bus with one of you sitting next to me. Does that count as I'm listening to you but you don't know? I appreciate your podcast. Beth: It was not Steph on the bus, I'll tell you that. Steph: It was not me. Wow, that was great! So what is the story on the bus? [inaudible] Beth: LaDon and I have been friends for a long time since our, since our kids were little and our oldest will both be seniors in high school this year. So we had to take a bus from Tallahassee down to central Florida to pick up a group of kids who had been at an overnight camp for a week. And so it was just she and I and one other adult and the bus driver on this giant bus all the way down. And we weren't actually sitting right next to each other. We were separated by an aisle. Steph: Like I literally was imagining you drooling on her shoulder as she's listening to your podcast. That's what I'm, that's not what? Beth: I was drooling on myself only, while she apparently was listening to the podcast unbeknownst to me. Steph: It would have been great if she took a picture and sent it in. Oh man, that would been great for the show notes. Beth: Nobody wants to see a picture of me dwelling. Steph: Okay. Thank you LaDon for calling in. That was, that was really entertaining. And again, we want to remind you, you are welcome to answer any of the questions that we ask on our podcast shows, but we do have a question today. Beth, what is it? Beth: Today's question is: Do you like watching TV shows alone or with others? Steph: And what personality type are you? Yes, that would be awesome to know. So if you have an answer to that, please call in our number is (850) 270-3308 and just call on your telephone and it will be a voicemail number that you can leave a voicemail. And now it's time for Questions for Reflection. These are questions that we've put together based on today's show and you're welcome to answer them in your head, on paper, we also have a pdf you can download from our website, but if you want to answer them, you're welcome to. If not, we'll see you next time. Beth: #1: How do you gain energy? #2: If you are an introvert, describe what it feels like after spending time in a large group setting. What is it like for you if you're an extrovert? #3: Have you ever thought it was not okay to be your introverted or extroverted self? Why? #4: Does your profession match your personality type? Steph: This has been the Discovering Our Scars podcast. Thank you for joining us.
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Meet StephMental Health Advocate. Author. Podcast Host. DIYer. Greyhound Mom. 
Meet BethI'm a mom who laughs a lot, mainly at myself. #UMC Pastor, recent Seminary grad, public speaker, blogger, and sometimes lawyer. Learning to #LiveLoved. 
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