Episode Summary
Steph and Beth both used social media long before they were creating online content. This episode is a conversation about how they stay emotionally healthy in the midst of a push to share more and more online. Beth shares why she loves Twitter, and Steph shares why she prefers Instagram. They talk about how their online interactions have changed as social media has changed, and as their work has become increasingly reliant on social media. Find out why Steph hides most people on Facebook and what happened when she got called out at work for something she posted. What stresses Beth out on social media and how does it suit her extroverted tendencies? This is an honest conversation about the reality that we each spend a lot of time on social media and in online spaces, and we need to maintain a healthy online selfie.
Show NotesQuestions for Reflection
Each episode we offer you a few prompts to think about how that day's conversation applies to you. You might pause the podcast and answer them right then and there, but if you keep a journal (Steph and Beth both do), you might find one of these PDFs useful. Choose the orientation that fits best in your journal.
Transcript
Beth:
Welcome to the Discovering Our Scars Podcast. Steph: Where we have honest conversations about things that make us different. I'm Steph. Beth: And I'm Beth. Steph: I've been in recovery for 13 plus years and recently wrote a book discovering my scars about my mental health struggles, experience and faith. Beth: I'm a lawyer turned pastor who's all about self-awareness and emotional health because I know what it's like to have neither of those things. Steph: Beth and I have been friends for six years, have gone through a recovery program together and when I wanted to start a podcast, she was the only name that came to mind as my co-host. Beth: And I didn't hesitate to say yes because I learned a lot from honest conversations with Steph over the years. Steph: We value honest conversations and we hope you do too. Beth: That's why we do this and why we want you to be part of what we are discussing today, which is what Steph? What's our topic today? Steph: Today we're talking about Healthy Selfie, navigating the online world. We spent a lot of time to come up with that title, so hopefully you like it. If you don't, don't let us know. Um-- Beth: Healthy Selfie. Steph: Healthy Selfie, I mean that's cute. It's very catchy. The last three weeks have been kind of crazy for me. I was at two conferences, I was at one in California and one in Atlanta and my business is online content creating. So I am in the online world a lot. And meeting other online content creators, I start to kind of see themes and we have certain conversations and it just kind of got me thinking about the whole online world and our selfie that we put out there. And so that's what we're going to talk about today. Beth: So when did you first get on social media? Steph: Oh social media. Let's first define social media because some people may not know. Beth: Right. We all remember a world before social media. Steph: But the biggest social media platform I think that really kind of took off was Facebook. You know there was some stuff before that but I got on Facebook when it first started in '05. A friend of mine sent me a friend request or a sign up request. because it was only for college students back then. And, yeah I actually have some of my posts from back then. I have some screenshots of my wall back then and just, it was fun. Like my friends, we were just, you know, we saw each other in real life but when we were not together we could write little fun messages on each other's wall and it was just kind of a fun way to connect. It's kind of like how people text message now. We weren't text messaging back then that much because we had flip phones. Beth: I forgot actually that Facebook started out that way, that you would have to go to someone's wall and you would have to to post to them. And that it really has changed a lot. So I joined Facebook in 2008. So it's been awhile. It's been a while. And social media has kind of moved on, right? Now we've got Instagram and Twitter and other things--Snapchat. Steph: Oh the Snapchat! I can give no explanation on that. You are big on--you like Twitter the best. Would you say? Beth: Yes, I really love Twitter. Steph: What do you love about Twitter? Beth: Well, if you attend to your Twitter feed, right? Like if you actually spend time on Twitter, then you really can develop friendships and you don't have to read everything that someone posts and you don't have to respond to everything. And it's much shorter than Facebook. So the time commitment is a lot more compressed. Like you can see a lot more in the same amount of time that you could see on Facebook. But I also like Twitter because it's people who I--this is going to sound weird--but it's people who I don't know in real life, so the conversations are very different and we're connecting for a different purpose. So Facebook is a lot of the people who I grew up with, right? Are people who are in my family. And so we have one kind of connection, but, but the people who I know on Twitter, we're connected because we have shared professional interests or shared personal interests or something going on there. And actually you know, in the Florida United Methodist Conference, there's a whole group of us that are on Twitter and we really do stay connected that way. So I like that. Steph: For me, I don't really love Twitter because it's so much words and that's why I tend to like Instagram because it's very picture focused and I can just visually see oh, I like this, don't like this and I don't have to read a lot. As you know, I'm not big into reading. So-- Beth: Yeah. Actually when I use Instagram and I do a picture and then I put words with it, sometimes the teenagers I live with, my kids will actually make fun of me. They're like, Instagram is just for pictures. I'm like, well, people need to know why I'm posting this picture. Steph: Oh, good! So the kids agree that it's picture focused? Beth: They do. Steph: So I'm, I'm up with the kids then. That's good. That's good to know. Beth: Yes. But really they prefer Snapchat. Yeah. And they don't, they don't even text their friends anymore. They just, they just chat with their friends on Snapchat. Steph: So, Snapchat's the new texting? Beth: Yes. Steph: Like Facebook was the original texting. Right. Wow. This world, Beth: It all changes. It all changes. So do you use the same platforms for personal and professional? Have you had to differentiate and delineate between the two? Steph: Social media started out as just a way to connect with your friends. Like that was the kind of pure intent behind it and I think that's still definitely an aspect of it. But now in this new world, this new generation where people can have businesses completely online and in real life businesses have to be on social media. And so I have, I do, I make DIY projects for homeowners and I use social media to promote the projects. I mean that's a big part of what I do. So I do use social media occasionally for personal things, but very rarely because what you put on social media is out there. What you post online is there forever. It can always be found. There's always ways of finding it. So I try to be very smart about what I post on, on any social media, but thought behind it and before, like when it first started, you know, I just write some kind of little message to a friend and not really think much about it. And I, it was never anything really inappropriate. I mean, I am who I am. I do remember this one time though, when I used to work for the church years ago. I had just moved back to Tallahassee and I was working for the church and I had posted something on Facebook and I will, I think, should I say what it is? Beth: Yeah. We totally want to know what it is. I want to know what you posted! Steph: I'll just say what it is. So I was driving down Thomasville road, which is really big road here in Tallahassee and I was just passing all these churches. I was passing church and church and church and I wrote on my Facebook, I said, "wow, there are so many churches in Tallahassee. I hope that I made the right choice." Something to that extent. Either "I hope I made the right choice" or "how do I know if I made the right choice or something like that?" So I posted this on Facebook and the next day I get called into the lead/head pastor's office who is the boss of everything? I don't know what his title was-- Beth: Yeah, boss of everything. Steph: Boss of Everything. Yeah. And, so he calls me and he sits me down and he says, so I don't have Facebook, but I was told that you wrote a message on Facebook and I want you to know that that's okay to have those thoughts, but you need to keep those to yourself and not put them out there online because that's putting the church in a certain light and we don't want people to, you know, have any kind of questions about that. And it was the first time I was like, whoa. It was the first time I had, I mean I had been working in the professional world for years before that, but it was the first time I'd ever been sat down and told-- "don't post that about our company" kind of thing. And it really made me think. First of all it made me realize, oh, this social media thing is not just for fun and hanging out with my friends anymore. This is, this is really serious and I have to be very cautious what I put online, what it ultimately did to me. Like it made me kind of shut down and, okay, well I'm not going to post anything because I'm like, well how do I know what's appropriate? Like all this. But ultimately led me just to be more thoughtful about what I put on social media and to look at it in a different light because it has changed. It has changed from its original intention as anything does, as it grows. And so I think that experience though was a good experience for me in the sense that when I did start my online business, I always was cautious and thought, okay, is this something I want to put out there? Like I don't really share a lot of my, I mean obviously with the podcast that's, you know, that's all gone because I'm putting it all out there now, but I didn't really, I don't really on social media share a lot of controversial things or political things. I have those thoughts and all of the, all of that but I don't necessarily share it in that way. I'm going to share it on the podcast because hey, we're going there, but not necessarily on social media. Beth: When I was growing up we would write notes to each other in school, right? Like you write a note, then you'd pass it. And I remember my mom telling me, don't write anything in the note that you wouldn't want published in the newspaper because anybody can see it. Anybody can get it. You don't know where it's gonna go. And that has carried through for me into social media and how I use social media because I think, well, I'm putting it out there, it's public. Like if I don't want it in the newspaper, I probably shouldn't put it on social media. So that's kind of a guide-star for me. Oh, well your story about being at Church also reminded me, of people I've known who've lost jobs because they've posted things during work hours, that their job was boring or that their boss was incompetent. It's like, that's not smart. Yeah. And also because I do keep up my law license, I have to do continuing education and I did, a CLE about how to use social media post in litigation. Steph: Oh Wow. Beth: So you can actually request them as part of discovery and you can, you know, you can, the other party would have to provide for you what they've posted to social media. And I could imagine, especially in a family law setting where that could be really instrumental to how a case unfolds. So social media is definitely an evolving thing and it has definitely changed from back in '05 you know or '08. Steph: That's really interesting though, that when you were a child, your mom said, "don't write something in a note you wouldn't want in the newspaper," which is the same concept as don't write something on your social media that you wouldn't want your employer to see. I mean, that's something that people say a lot because especially, you know, your kids grew up with social media, they've been posting since they were, you know, young kids. It's, it's an interesting kind of shift. I knew world before social media, obviously you do too, right? Beth: Yeah, no. And we had to tell the kids, you cannot have a, any social media accounts until you're a teenager. And then when you're a teenager, we're gonna, we're gonna help you navigate this. But it also meant that, that when I started blogging, I had to, I felt I had to, I chose to create, for example, on Facebook and additional Facebook page. That was just for the things that I was blogging about because as I wanted to introduce myself to a broader audience, people who I didn't know personally, they don't really need to see pictures of my kids. They don't really need to know oh, it's, you know, my son's birthday, it's, it's my daughter's birthday. Like that, that kind of stuff I wanted to share with friends who I knew in real life, but not necessarily people who I only knew online. So that has been a difference for me in terms of personal versus more professional. Steph: And you are still a blogger? Beth: I am. Steph: And what do you blog about? Beth: I blog every week. Uh, some sort of a devotion and it, it ties into something called the Revised Common Lectionary. So whatever the assigned readings were for the Sunday before that Wednesday, I'll put out a devotion about it. And the idea is that hopefully people are hearing that in church on Sunday and that then this is a follow-up for them to kind of touch on it midweek. Steph: Nice. Well let's put a link to that on the show notes. People are interested in that. Beth: We can do that. Good idea. Steph: So we kind of are in a little bit different space because we use social media for personal use and then for professional online business use. Let's try to talk from a personal standpoint first. So I would say the three big social medias in my mind are Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Would you say that also? Beth: I would say so. Yeah. For me personally, that's the three that I use. Steph: Yeah. So when you are on your personal Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram, do you find yourself ... When do you go on it? And what do you go on it for? Beth: I go on Twitter all the time because the content is always changing and so it's easy just to pick it up and look at it for 60 seconds, 90 seconds, and kind of get an idea of what's going on. Maybe in the evening after dinner we sort of usually have some downtime before, before I start watching TV or something and I'll get on it then. When do you get on? Steph: Well, I would say I get on mostly Instagram. Twitter is too much reading. Like I said, too much reading for me. I feel like there's certain people that love Twitter, right? And then there's people that are like, yeah, I'm the, I go on Instagram probably the most. And Facebook very rarely. Normally go on when I have a couple minutes and I'm just like, Oh, you know, let me go look and I can get really lost in it. I think that's a big thing about, especially Instagram is there's so many pictures, there's so much to kind of ingest and take that I can really be like, oh! Especially I'll go when I'm about to post something and I'll totally forget and I'll just be looking at pictures and liking things and be like, whoa. And there'll be like, oh, it's, you know, two hours later. No, it's never that long. But oh my goodness. I just had a second and that second. Now I'm, you know, behind in my day. Beth: Right. Where did the time go? Steph: Exactly Beth: It went onto me looking at everyone's pictures, that's where it went. Steph: Yeah, and a lot of the times I'll start looking at stuff and looking at stuff and I'll—especially when I'm looking at stuff from a business perspective—I'll be looking, I'll be like, oh my goodness, that person's working with that brand, or that person made this really cool project. Oh, that person just did this, that was really successful. And I'll start comparing myself to them and looking and being like, oh, I want to be able to do that. I want to do that. And then I start to just start, feel bad about myself and be like, oh, I can't do all the things. How do I do that? How do I do that? And then I just kind of get in a slump and sometimes I'm like, oh, I want to do all those things that they're doing. And then I get lost in like, I can't do any of those things because there's just too much going on. And so for me, I feel like social media, I have to be very careful with it. I feel like I need to set aside the time and be in the right mind space to actually absorb it. And I really wish there was a way to post without having to see anything where you could in Facebook, you go on and I'm just distracted by all of the Newsfeed. I actually on my personal Facebook, I hide a lot of people because I mean I love my people that I'm friends with, but there's only so much I can take in. So if people post a lot, I'll actually hide their, their News Feeds so it doesn't come up right away. So I don't get distracted by kids. For me, if I want to see what's going on with someone, I'll actually just go to their profile and be like, Oh man, I haven't, you know, seen so-and-so in a little while I wonder what they're up to and I'll go to their profile. But I don't want to just see it right away and automatically. Beth: I never do that. I never, I almost never, I shouldn't say never. I almost never go to someone's profile. If I know a birthday is coming up and I want to send a message, I'll go to their profile page for that. But otherwise I only will see what comes up in my Newsfeed. And I always feel bad if I hide someone. They have to be pretty offensive in order for me to hide them. Steph: See. I don't feel bad about it because I hide almost every single person. I think there's only like five people I don't hide. It's not like I don't like you, it's just I want to see your stuff when I want on my terms and that's what I'm doing by being able to search for the profile, I can look at their stuff on my terms kind of thing. Beth: Yeah, I mean that makes sense. I mean it's your Facebook page, it's your Newsfeed. So that makes sense to me. I just, I'm probably overly sensitive about it, Steph: But if you're a friend of mine on Facebook, I love you. You're awesome. Beth: Also, I definitely have observed in myself how social media creates, what I have learned is called FOMO. Steph: FOMO! Beth: FOMO! Steph: What does it stand for? Beth: Fear Of Missing Out. But yeah, so it definitely creates a sense of, uh, of Fomo and I know that it must do that, not just to me, I can't be the only one that it's happening to, but then it must happen even across all age groups. So you know, even with teenagers and with everybody that they're, they feel like, oh, I didn't do that so... I didn't, I didn't go on that trip. I didn't get invited to that party or I don't have that many likes. I think that's an issue too. So that all goes into, in having a healthy online selfie is knowing how you're going to address all of that. Steph: I think for me, I want to post on social because I want to, I want to share, you know, what I'm doing. If I'm excited about something, I want to share it. But I also, for Instagram, I like to use it as almost a time capsule so I can go back and, especially if I'm talking to people in real life, I'll be like, oh, you know, especially for our projects, they'll be like, oh yeah, we'll be talking about a project. And they’re like, oh, I want to see that and I'll be able to show them on our Instagram feed real easy. It's just a quick way to find pictures. For me. Like we're talking about healthy selfie, having a healthy, I feel like I do have a healthy connection with social media. I go through stints of, you know, when I'm out of town and on my phone a lot. It's, I'm on it too much. But I feel like when I, my thought process is I prepare myself when I'm going onto social media. So I will figure out what I want to post before I even go to social media, kind of figure out what I want to write. And then I'll go to the platform. I'll try not to look at anything. And I'll post what I want to post and then I might allow myself you know, five minutes to look at other people, see what they're doing because I want to see what's going on people's lives I, I'm following them for a reason. We'll try to discipline myself and not just let it be a passive thing, but be like this is an intentional thing and I don't always succeed at it, but I try to be very conscious when I'm, when I'm going to the platform. Beth: One thing that confuses me about social media is when I see the same thing on Facebook and on Instagram and then maybe even also on Twitter. And even for myself, I'm like, well, I shared this on Facebook, but I'm friends on Instagram and Twitter with people I'm not Facebook friends with so do I share it again? But then I know when I'm the one who's consuming what other people are posting, I'm like, oh, I already saw this. I don't want to see it again. How do you handle that? Steph: It's really tough because I'm going to have to move more into the professional side because I don't really post that much on the personal side. Although I'm posting more because I have some, my personal socials, I'm getting up to speed with my, because my book's coming out in that and that sort of thing. I try to change it up. I do post, for our business when we have a new project I'll post on all social about the project but I'll try to change the picture or change the wording. So Instagram and Facebook, the wording's different, the pictures different, but we're promoting the same project and it's because we have different followers on, on those platforms. We have different followers on every single platform. There's people that just follow us on YouTube. There's people that just go to our website. There's people that are just newsletter subscribers and so it's tough because you want to, we want to reach everybody, but we also don't want to, you know, be annoying to the people that follow us everywhere. So it's, it's a challenge, but we try to give a different message in each platform and we try to tailor it to the people that follow us on that platform. I mean, we don't try to cater super specific to the platform, but we try to be conscious of, you know, this platform is 60% male. Like our YouTube followers are 60% male. That doesn't change anything. I mean, we're still gonna make the same types of videos we make, but it's something that we, we think about, okay, this is who's watching us here. This is who's going to our website. Beth: Yeah, I can see why that would be, how that would inform what you choose to post or how you choose to craft the words that go with what you post. Yeah. Steph: Yeah. And on Instagram, most of our followers are people in our industry, not core audience, but it's other bloggers, other online content creators. Kind of an interesting thought process. And brands. Beth: Yeah. And that's a whole 'nother thing that happens in, in those spaces too, which if you've ever dabbled at all in any kind of online content creation, you realize that there's a whole industry that's catered just to teaching people how to create content online and then how to promote it. And so that's a whole 'nother aspect of how social media figures into it. Because, you're saying, some of the people who are your audience are other creators and then some of the people who are your followers are--they want to consume the content that you, exactly. Steph: Yeah. And I follow personally, I follow all different types of people. I follow people that, you know, I'm just consuming their content. I'm following, you know, other fellow creators I'm following just friends and finding out what's in their life. So I think everybody kind of follows like... My online business is DIY. So we are very focused on DIY and there are for certain areas. But me personally, I have other areas, things outside of that. I'm not just a very person. Like there's a lot of things. That's why we're doing this podcast. It's why I wrote my book because I not just, you know this square of a person. Beth: You're so square! Steph: I know, I was like, oh that's a thing. Younger people probably don't know what square is. Beth: Well they should look it up then because you are square and I am too. And I like it that way. Steph: I don't know the actual definition. I'd probably look it up too. Beth: It means not cool. Steph: Oh yeah. I'm, I'm square. Yeah. Well talking about not cool. Do you ever have a feeling when you go on social media, do you ever feel like, does it energize you or does it make you sad? Like, what is your feeling after you get off social media? Beth: It almost always energizes me. The only time it doesn't energize me is if someone posts something that I find annoying. Then I find myself kind of spiraling and thinking about them differently and in my aggravation kind of builds on itself. But other than that, it is, it is almost always a positive experience for me. Steph: It never stresses you out? Beth: No. It only stresses me out if someone is, if something bad has happened to someone. So for example, this week I got stressed out on social media because a blogger who I follow, her husband unexpectedly died in a really tragic accident and that was upsetting to me. It was such a freak accident that it even made the news on CNN and so, so I don't know. So it was sort of just everywhere for just a minute. Just a blip. Right. But then you know that that is not a blip in her life. It's, it's her new forever. You know, they have five kids and now 37 years old and she's a single mom because her husband died in this freak accident where he got hit by a wave and it broke his neck and he died at the beach and the kids were there. That kind of thing makes me spiral. Just the brokenness and the, and the grief and the pain, but it doesn't, it doesn't make me spiral to see other people being happy. That's a good thing. Steph: Yeah. It's interesting. I wonder if, because you're, you are an extrovert, you get energy from being with people and being around people. I wonder if it has something to do with that? Because as an introvert, I like to be alone and that's how I get my energy. So I'm wondering if that has something to do with social media. If extroverts find it more energizing and introverts find it more draining? That'd be interesting. Beth: Yeah, that makes sense that it would, that it would work that way. Steph: You should, you may want, I don't want to should on you, but you may want to look that up, see if there's any research on it for our show notes. Beth: Yeah, we should look at that because it makes sense that it would, that it would be that way. Although as an introvert, you could just choose not to do it. Steph: But as an introvert I have to kind of set boundaries for myself and say, I'm only gonna do this. I'm only gonna look at this. So I'm wondering, you know, if that's an introvert/extrovert thing. That's very interesting. Beth: That is interesting. And even as I'm thinking about my husband and I, because he's an introvert, he does not really enjoy social media. Steph: Yeah. It overwhelms me a lot of times. Beth: Yeah. Steph: Because it's so and if I'm in a conversation with a group of people, it's overwhelming for me too. Not like I can't talk to them or anything, but because I'm trying to stay I want to hear story, I want to be following everything and so that's what's overwhelming to me. Beth: Yeah. I can hear multiple stories at the same time and it's fine. Steph: And you're just excited about life? Beth: Yeah. Steph: You're just loving life? Beth: Yeah. Steph: Okay. Well I think that would be a great episode to do. A podcast about introvert versus extrovert now. Right. Beth v. Steph, Argh! Beth: So I'm just wondering, I know that professionally you probably have to look at how the content is received and if it gets likes or if it gets shares or that kind of thing. But what about for your personal posts? Do you ever go back and look at that? Steph: For personally, no, I don't really look at it. I've really re-started my personal accounts with, you know, like I said with the book and the podcast and everything. Uh, I don't really look though at the comments and likes, I've really tried hard to not be focused on follower count and likes and all those things. I'm posting things that I like about my life and things that I feel that other people might find value in seeing. And then whatever happens from there happens. I'm not trying to, to break the algorithms and you know, figuring out how to get a million subscribers. Because what I found is there would never be enough if I'm searching for the perfect number of followers, there's never enough. There's always people that have more followers than you. We have a nice subscriber count on, on YouTube, that's our highest follower account. But there is a ton of people that have more subs than us. And even if we got 1,000,000 one day, there'd still be plenty of people that have way more than that. So for me, I'm not focused on that number. Also what's really cool about that number though is that it represents human beings that represents a person and when I think we have I think like 23,000 followers, that's 23,000 people that have watched one of our videos and have said, I like this enough that I want to see more of your videos and hit the sub button. That is very cool! I will, I don't think I've ever been around that many people at one time. That is so cool to think about and that's so exciting. I think of it in that way, the people wow that many people are interested in this content and that's what pushes me forward is thinking about the people behind it. And also seeing the comments when people say, I saw your video, I was able to do this project and now I have new screening in my backyard. Like those kinds of things are what's rewarding to us. It's not, it's not like that number. Oh that number keeps going up great. It's like wow, that many more people are engaging with our content and are being able to do our projects. I mean, I hear stories about young kids watching it, like five year olds watching our content, for like 45 minutes watching your content. I'm like, oh my gosh, it's so, that's so cool because they may not be doing these projects that five years old, but they're, they're seeing that that's getting part of their, that's getting ingrained in their brain that you can do this when you have this project that needs to be done. They may one day do that project at their house or say to their parents, hey, we can do that. I just saw a video on that, you know, let's do this. And that to me is what's rewarding about the online space. It's not, yes, I'm able to make a living in the online space and that is so amazing and I'm so grateful for that. But to be able to see other people be empowered to do projects in their home, I think that's amazing. That's what I love about it. Beth: That is amazing. Steph: So I try not to focus on the analytics and the numbers behind everything because that I can just, I can spend hours stuck in there and it is good to be aware this project did good, this one didn't. So I can see, okay. And also watch time on a video. If we have a really low watch time or something, it's okay so that video, there was something that people didn't like about it. It was too boring in the beginning or the intro is too long, something like that. So those things are good, good metrics we'll look at, but I try not to focus on, you know, all of the day to day oh this post only got this. They only got that because that's just gonna just wipe me out really quickly. Beth: So that sounds healthy to me. Like a healthy online selfie. You're using, the metrics, you're using the metrics as a tool to help you know where you can improve or where you're really hitting your stride rather than, I'm going to use these metrics to define who I am as a person and whether or not I am okay. Right, exactly. Completely not healthy to use your metrics that way. When, for example, when Facebook started, I think I looked more at how many likes, photos and stuff were getting and now I don't pay any attention because it's just, it's old hat now I just, I share what I want to share because I'm like, oh, I want my friends to see this and so I'm going to share this picture and if two people see it, that's fine and if a couple hundred people see it, that's great. On a professional level, the thing that I haven't, I haven't monetized anything on my site. Well I have, I do have Bible 100 which you could purchase. But other than that, I don't monetize my weekly content. And I look at it as almost like a congregation. There are a lot of churches in the world that don't break the one hundred member mark. And I have 3000 people that I send my devotion to every week. I send my newsletter to every week. So I feel if you, even only a percentage of them read it, I'm still reaching a good number of people. So that to me is energy to keep going with it. And I actually switched two years ago, I switched the way that I do my content so that it is what I described to you at the beginning where it's, a follow up on what the scripture has been for the Sunday before. And I never pointed out to anyone that I was doing that it just worked for me better. And so, but then this week I got an email from someone saying, you know, my preacher that was, that was preached on at my church on Sunday. And I kind of got it. And then I read what you sent me on Wednesday and thought, oh, that helped me so much. I was like, Yay, it's working. So now I have energy to keep going with it. Steph: Yeah, that's so cool. Yeah, I love, that to me is completing the circle of what we're trying to do. So I love getting that kind of feedback. Anytime people comment--we send on a weekly newsletter as well. And there's some people will actually email me, respond to that email with some super sweet comments and I was just like, it's so energizing to hear that and know people are liking this and are, you know, getting something out of it. So it's, it's been very cool. Beth: So Steph, what's your takeaway? We're all trying to construct a version of ourselves online. It's just the world that we live in. It's how things work now. What's your takeaway? How do we create an online, a healthy online selfie? Steph: That's a good question because as I said at the top of the show, I just got back from two conferences and that was something that, especially at Vidcon that I was seeing kind of a running thing is people talking about wanting to be YouTubers and be entertaining and kind of put on this, the show for people. And what I was noticing is a lot of people's reason for, for being YouTubers, is you know, they wanna they wanna make quick, quick, fast money kind of thing. I can't speak for everyone, but I can tell you being an online content creator is, is a ton of work and it's not fast money. It's a business. Just like any, anything else in it. You, you, uh, start out with like anyone else with a business at $0 and you know, you go from there. I would say whether you are just using social media personally or whether you're using it as a business, what I tried to do with it is being me and be fully me. And that's what this podcast is about too, is I just want to be completely honest and be completely real and not put on a show. Like I just don't, I don't have time for shows. And if I'm like me, I have to assume there's other people that are like me out there that would want to hear and be refreshed from this kind of conversation and from learning the aspects that, you know, make up me. So I would say, you know, my takeaway from today's show and what I take from the online world is to be yourself and to not give excuses for who you are. And to be cautious, you know, to be cautious, always, just like your mom said, if you put something in a note, be okay with that being in the newspaper. Same thing online. If you put something out there, be okay with people reading this and for it to possibly be published somewhere someday. Just be smart and be, conscious of the choices you make online and in life. You know, that's just online life. It's all, it's all kind of interconnected now. So what was your takeaway, Beth? Beth: Yeah, I think you're right. I think the key to having a healthy online selfie is to be your authentic self. That requires knowing who you are. That requires some self-awareness and it requires not giving into the push to gloss everything over to just really be, be the same you in person online, wherever. Music: [inaudible] Steph: Beth, in today's show you glossed over something that I wanted to bring up and I was like, oh, I can bring it up in the outro. So you talked about Bible 100, and I just wanted you to talk a couple of minutes quickly about that because there might be people interested in it. Beth: So I created it Bible 100 a few years ago and it's a workshop that takes you from the, through the whole Bible Genesis to revelation, the whole thing in a hundred minutes or less. And you can find that on my website--bethdemme.com/Bible100. We'll put it in the show notes. And actually there's a whole small group curriculum that goes with it. So if you wanted to meet with a small group for five weeks, you could really learn a great overview of the entire Bible. And I did it because I was in church feeling like I should know the Bible better than I did. I was behind. Everybody else already knew it. It turns out that wasn't true. A lot of people who are in church every week don't, don't know the Bible well. So this is sort of a primer so that you will feel more confident when you go to study other things or as you're listening to sermons to be like, oh, that's where that fits in. So it's, that's what it is. Steph: And would you say it's for everyone? It's not necessarily for Christians that are going to church every Sunday. It's really just an education on the Bible, correct? Beth: It is. Because my whole thing is that I think that people need to know what the Bible says rather than being told what to think about what the Bible says. So this is a tool to just let you know what the Bible says. And it's an important part of, of literature. You know, it has been infused into governments around the world. Like it's, it is on its own something that is important, separate and apart from being a faith document. So I think it's good for everybody to know what the Bible says. And if you are somebody who is in church all the time, I think you'll still learn something. Steph: Very cool. So BethDemme.com for that. And I also wanted to mention that I have started a little blog on my website, StephanieKostopoulos.com and I am posting trying to post every two weeks just I'm just kind of little slice of life things. The blog was, I had this week actually relates to what we talked about in the podcast today. So I just wanted to quickly talk about that. I wrote a post called "The art of selling myself? The life of an online content creator." So if you wanted to go a little bit deeper into finding out about online content creating. If you have been thinking about something like that, then we'll put a link to that in the show notes. And we have been asking at the end of each show, we've been asking you a question because we want to, we want to hear from you. We'd love to, you know, hear what's going on with you. So we actually asked where you listen to the podcast. Beth: Yeah, we asked where do you listen to the podcast? And my dear friend, I would say she's my oldest friend, but, but that's not, it's really that we've been friends the longest. We've been friends since seventh grade or something. Steph: Oh cute! Beth: I have a couple of people in my life who've, we've been around together that long. So my friend Charlene, who lives in Nashville, she called in to answer that question, where do you listen to the podcast? And this is what she had to say. Caller: Charlene Garrett, a Nashville and I, uh, listen to this podcast usually on my back porch looking out at the greenery. I listen using Overcast in case you guys are curious about that. And yeah, so hopefully that is helpful. Thank you. Bye Bye. Beth: That was helpful. Thanks Charlene! Steph: That was awesome. You know what I took from that? Two things. Did you hear the bird in the background? Beth: That was so perfect! Steph: She is calling in from where she listens. I love that. It's very, it was like okay, you were telling the truth. Beth: She is good. She is authentically herself. Steph: She is. That's amazing. And then I also took that she listens on Overcast. There's a lot of podcasts apps out there. Most people use Apple Podcasts but there's a ton of apps out there. I actually have Overcast on my phone. I want to use it now. Now that I know the cool kids use it. But that's a good question. Actually for this week we should ask what app do you use to listen to our podcasts? So you know it could be Overcast, it could be Google, it could be Apple. Let us know because that's a cool question. Feel free to call in to our voicemail and answer any question we've asked in any of our podcast episodes. That number is (850) 270-3308. Music: [inaudible] Steph: At the end of the show we like to end with Questions for Reflection. And these are just questions that we put together that relate to today's show that you are welcome to answer on your own. You can answer them in your head, in a notebook. We also, on our website, we have links to download a pdf of the questions. And so Beth, what are today's questions? Beth: Questions for Reflection: How do you feel after you spend time on social media? Does it empower you, refresh you, energize you, or does it leave you feeling less than? Do you use social media for a distraction? What is it that you want to be distracted from? What do you share on social media and why? And does the amount of likes affect your mood or your perception of what you post? Steph: This has been the Discovering Our Scars podcast. Thanks for joining us.
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Meet StephMental Health Advocate. Author. Podcast Host. DIYer. Greyhound Mom. 
Meet BethI'm a mom who laughs a lot, mainly at myself. #UMC Pastor, recent Seminary grad, public speaker, blogger, and sometimes lawyer. Learning to #LiveLoved. 
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