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Questions for Reflection
Each episode we offer you a few prompts to think about how that day's conversation applies to you. You might pause the podcast and answer them right then and there, but if you keep a journal (Steph and Beth both do), you might find one of these PDFs useful. Choose the orientation that fits best in your journal.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (00:03):
Welcome to the Discovering Our Scars Podcast.
Beth Demme (00:06):
Where we have honest conversations about things that make us different. I'm Beth.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (00:10):
And I'm Steph.
Beth Demme (00:10):
Today is April 21st around nine o'clock in the morning.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (00:14):
We don't normally timestamp our episodes, but we think it's important to do that today.
Beth Demme (00:18):
Things are changing almost minute by minute with the coronavirus outbreak.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (00:23):
And what is our topic today, Beth?
Beth Demme (00:25):
Today we're talking about: Five Weeks In: Ok.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (00:29):
So Beth, when you go outside of your house you're going to need to wear a mask.
Beth Demme (00:34):
Okay. Well Steph, when you go to the grocery store it might feel like you're going into battle.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (00:40):
Okay. School's canceled for the rest of the year.
Beth Demme (00:43):
Okay. High school graduation probably won't happen.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (00:46):
Okay. When you see someone you know you'll have to stay six feet apart.
Beth Demme (00:52):
Okay. Well, when you go to the woods that are supposed to be only for you, other people will be there.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (00:57):
Okay. You won't be able to eat in restaurants for a while.
Beth Demme (01:02):
Okay. You should wear gloves at the gas station.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (01:05):
Okay. It might not truly be safe for you to go in public until there's a vaccine.
Beth Demme (01:10):
Okay. You won't be able to travel outside the United States for the foreseeable future.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (01:15):
Okay. You can't get a haircut or get your nails done.
Beth Demme (01:19):
Okay. We're five weeks in.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (01:22):
Beth Demme (01:23):
A lot of changes, huh?
Stephanie Kostopoulos (01:26):
Yes. I do want to remind everyone that we are under stay at home order in Florida, Tallahassee, Florida and so we are again remote but this week we can see each other. Hi Beth.
Beth Demme (01:40):
Yay, Hi Steph.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (01:42):
I am in the podcasting studio and Beth is...
Beth Demme (01:49):
I'm in my house.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (01:50):
In her house.
Beth Demme (01:51):
I'm in my house, but this week I have my actual podcasting mic hooked up so that's good.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (01:56):
Yes, so we both have our mic's.
Beth Demme (01:58):
Yeah. It was in the beginning it was like, "Oh, it's not worth that effort. I'll just use the..."
Stephanie Kostopoulos (02:03):
Your AirPods basically is what you were using.
Beth Demme (02:05):
Yeah basically. No, this is going to go on for a while, we're going to need to actually get this setup.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (02:09):
So we're continuing to try to improve and have our quality as best as we can remotely. We have experienced a lot of changes in the last five weeks. I guess we're calling this a quarantine time, there's a lot of things we can call this but-
Beth Demme (02:24):
Yeah I've been wondering about that actually. There should be a universal agreement on what this is called so that as we talk about it not only now but in the future, we all know we're talking about the same thing. So I think in some places they're calling it the lockdown?
Stephanie Kostopoulos (02:38):
Beth Demme (02:39):
We're not quite locked down so that feels a little bit too strong. We're just going to have to call it "the quarantine" because I don't know what else to call it. Calling it "safer at home" or "that time we social distanced for a really long time" or I don't know what the hashtag for this is going to end up being.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (02:55):
I think the #quarantine works for me.
Beth Demme (02:57):
Yeah, I think so too.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (02:58):
So I'm wondering though, has the shock of all the changes worn off for you yet?
Beth Demme (03:03):
No, I still am surprised at how much has changed and how quickly. And I also continue to be surprised that the changes are not universal because I have been at home since the middle of March. I've only left a couple of times to go grocery shopping. When I have left I go out and I'm like, "Oh, there are some people who aren't handling it this way." And so that is also shocking. But the idea that I can't just go to a restaurant for dinner that's still surprises me from time to time. The fact that we all need to be wearing masks, that is a change that continues to surprise me. I mean if you had said in the beginning of March, even if you had said three weeks ago, right? "When people leave their house, they're going to have to have on a mask." I think I would have said, "Oh, I just don't see us doing that. I just, I just can't imagine that." And now that's our new normal, that's a shocking amount of change.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (04:03):
It's interesting because it is all very shocking but I feel like for me five weeks in I've accepted at all. Like when the mask stuff came around I wasn't completely shocked because I mean they had been saying that from day one, if you're sick, wear a mask. And so the reason it's changed is because I think they're finding 60% of people are asymptomatic so they don't know they're sick. So that means that everyone needs to wear a mask just in case they are sick so to me it's not that shocking.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (04:31):
I mean it's a bummer all around that all of this has changed, but I've found that now when new things come up like all the things we said these things are happening. It's I've kind of accepted it I'm just like, "Okay." I don't feel super shocked by it as much as I have been. I've kind of just been accepting it all. And I've accepted that I'm not going to go back out in public until I feel safe all around. Not because a governor tells me that they're lifting orders, that's not when I'm going to go out. I'm going to go back out in public when I have made the decision. I'm not going to be following politicians that say, "Okay, well we're going to open a restaurant so that means it's safe."
Stephanie Kostopoulos (05:11):
That doesn't mean it's safe it just means you want to start opening things back up. It does seem we have flattened the curve and all that means is we're not going to have an influx of people in the hospitals to overwhelm the hospitals. But that doesn't mean that they're still not going to be plenty of people getting sick and needing to be in the hospital. So I prefer not to be one of those people and so I'm going to make the choices that need to be made for me. And for the foreseeable future that means I'm staying at home, I'm going into battle when I go to the grocery store.
Beth Demme (05:42):
Well I'm still being shocked. I mean, they just this week, I'm pretty sure it was this week. We've talked about how we're losing track of days, but at some point recently they officially said that Florida schools were going to be out for the rest of the year. And even though that is the right thing and even though I knew that was coming, I still was like, "What? What do you mean they're not going to go back to school this year?" I still was shocked by it.
Beth Demme (06:10):
The idea that my kids are going to have to do online learning for the rest of the year, it's just not working super well at our house and so that is a bummer. And one of the other things we mentioned was graduation. Yeah, I knew probably in March that graduation was going to be different but they still haven't it officially said there won't be a graduation ceremony. And when they do come out and say that which I expect them to do, I think it'll be like, "Oh, it's official." They officially on... Again, I don't know what day? Monday? I think two days ago? They officially announced that high school sports were done for the year.
Beth Demme (06:49):
And that those who were part of spring sports like my son who plays lacrosse, there had been some speculation that they were going to extend eligibility for those players. So that they could maybe play over the summer or I don't know what else they were thinking about but they came out and said we're not doing that, your season is just done. And I think they came to that conclusion because it's still not going to be safe to gather for sporting events over the summer. So what would have been the point? But it still was like, "Oh." Hearing it officially decided still bummed me out.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (07:20):
And see I'm the opposite because when I heard that schools were officially canceled I'm like, "Okay, well of course." And I'm glad they finally officially said it took them way too long but I'm like, "Yeah, okay." Although it affects me in no way so I could see why it was more of intense for you. But yeah, I was just kind of like, "Yeah, I don't know why it took them this long." Oh, actually so I was talking to my mom yesterday and I said, "When would you feel safe to go back out?" And she said... Like, "What's that marker?" She said, "When Disney opens up again." She said she doesn't think Disney will reopen until it's absolutely safe too.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (07:56):
Which makes sense because how many people go to Disney? And we think they're probably going to have to change the way ride systems work. Because I mean, I worked at Disney and I mean on a busy day the people are standing outside of the queue area because the lines are so long you can't six feet apart. I mean they would be sitting outside the park if you did that. So yeah, I assume they're in process of thinking through how that all works. I mean, obviously Disney is one of the last concerns out of all the essential things that we need to reopen, transportation, all of that but that's what she said. And that kind of made sense, it's like when Disney feels it's safe and then it's probably safe to come out of our little hole.
Beth Demme (08:38):
Our a little, but it's the periscope first.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (08:42):
[inaudible 00:08:42] danger out there.
Beth Demme (08:42):
I know a mere cat.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (08:44):
Beth Demme (08:45):
I mean that would be a big signal that society had reached the end of its tolerance for these changes when places like Disney or movie theaters start opening. And I know we're just right here on the border with Georgia, I'm pretty sure they're reopening their gyms which seems sketchy to me, but-
Stephanie Kostopoulos (09:10):
A Guinea pig I guess for the [inaudible 00:09:11].
Beth Demme (09:13):
As things that start to reopen I think it'll feel more normal. And part of being able to be safer at home is that right now that's an acceptable practice. It's socially acceptable to do that and when the official government restrictions start to lift, it's not going to be socially acceptable to do it anymore. And so external expectations will make it harder to just stay home.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (09:41):
I agree with that, but I also don't think it will be outside of the realm of reason for people to understand your concern. If everything's opening up and you're still wanting to stay at home I don't think... And if you have legit reasons for wanting to continue to stay at home, like if the people are still getting sick, if there's still those kinds of things. I see what you're saying, but I also feel people will be more understanding of it because of all of this that we've just lived through, all of us having to stay home. I think people are going to understand like my mom being in the older demographic wanting to continue to social distance and stay home and things that. I don't think people would really question that I think, but we'll see. I mean we'll see when all that plays out. If people look at people that are overly concerned about germs and things that, look at them like they used to or look at them in a different, a new light.
Beth Demme (10:34):
Like right now for me, it's socially acceptable for us to offer our worship services only online.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (10:41):
Beth Demme (10:41):
When there is no longer official guidance from either the government or in our case the Bishop for our state. When we no longer have their backing the expectation is going to be that we're back in our building and that we're sitting with 200 of our closest friends at least once a week right? That's why what the government decides really matters.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (11:02):
Oh, 100% I agree with you. I think that's very important the government to make very cautious decisions. I don't think they always make the right decisions and it comes down to individuals like businesses making those decisions. So I think even if everything's opened up and you still want to just meet online, I think if you have your reasons and you explain that to people I don't think there'd be any question. If people are still going to get sick until we have a vaccine, a reliable vaccine and if you make that decision for your church that you want them all to say safe I would not question that. I would not question that as I would think that you're very caring pastor, that you care for your people by wanting them to stay at home.
Beth Demme (11:47):
So do you feel you've accepted this new reality or is there anything that you're longing for in terms of what our normal used to be?
Stephanie Kostopoulos (11:56):
I feel I've accepted it. I don't super feel I'm longing anymore. I would like to eat out, I don't feel like I'm longing for it. I'm getting plenty of food don't worry about me on that front. I have my Pop-Tarts once a day I am good, but I would say we're adapting. So the last three Sundays we have driven past Home Depot just to feel connected. I'm sorry, that is literally my place. I love Home Depot. I just do and it's sad that I can't go in.
Beth Demme (12:33):
You could go in. It is open.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (12:33):
I could go in. Let me tell you though, on Sunday when we drove past there was a long line because they're only allowing certain amount of people in. It was a long line and that I was like, "I not waiting in that line." But we actually drove past yesterday as well and we saw one of the pros that works there that we know, we know a lot of people that work there. And so we chatted with him in our car from a distance to kind of find out how everything was going but they are super busy still.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (12:58):
I'm actually going to try to go, we need some wood and if you know anything about shopping for lumber Beth you have to have the right person shopping for you. Because if you get wonky wood, that sucker is not going to work for you. So I don't want to do personal pickup for lumber because if the person is not dedicated to picking it out, then I'm going to get all sorts of messed up wood. So I'm going to try to go in just to the wood section, know exactly what I want, put it in my cart and get out with my mask obviously and gloves on.
Beth Demme (13:32):
Yeah you have to have a strategic plan like as if you were going into battle.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (13:35):
Exactly. Which is why I'm not going into Home Depot just normally to browse, I'm just going in if I have an exact. So this will be the first time I had been in Home Depot in weeks which is crazy. So I'm not sure, I might try Friday or Monday. Definitely not the weekend that's just unheard of, not going to do that. But I feel like so we've kind of adapted into our new reality I would say. But how about you Beth? Are you longing for anything that you had before? Have you accepted this new reality?
Beth Demme (14:03):
There are some things about the new reality that I really like and that I will want to keep carrying forward, but I don't think I have really fully accepted it because it still feels temporary to me. I still feel like, "Oh yeah, this will wrap up soon." Or my daughter even said to me yesterday, "Hey, when this quarantine is over." I'm like, "Oh boy. I don't know when it's going to be over." So because I keep thinking that, that is a signal to me that I haven't really accepted this new reality.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (14:33):
Well, we've even created a new reality for our podcast though.
Beth Demme (14:36):
Right, that's true.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (14:36):
You are now sitting across from me, I can see you I can see you on your mic. So we've created the new reality of this. We don't know how long we'll have to remote podcast but we'll do it for as long as we need to and I'm fine with it. Whatever we need to do. A good thing that's come out of this is we've created our first podcast series.
Beth Demme (14:56):
Oh yeah, that's true.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (14:57):
I was thinking it the other day I was like, "Oh, we've done a series." We're currently in this series, the coronavirus series. Did not realize we were in one but, yeah.
Beth Demme (15:06):
Five weeks in, okay.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (15:07):
Which is actually six episodes in. We've done six episodes.
Beth Demme (15:10):
Stephanie Kostopoulos (15:10):
This is our sixth episode because we had weeks zero.
Beth Demme (15:14):
Right. We had travel week when it was all still like... Remember when we used to be able to just travel? We would use to be able to just go to these places called airports so we could get on planes and they would carry us to places. And apparently some people are still able to do that but they're the super super lucky ones, that's not something that just an average person can do anymore. Yeah. But I remember the good old days.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (15:38):
Yeah, I experienced it right before all of this, man. I know we've talked about some of the things, the new reality, but do you have top three things that you miss the most right now during the quarantine?
Beth Demme (15:50):
Okay. Top three things I miss the most during the quarantine are...
Stephanie Kostopoulos (15:55):
Thank you for repeating it. That was helpful.
Beth Demme (15:58):
Well, it gave me time to think about it.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (16:00):
Beth Demme (16:00):
Are, the mole enchiladas from El Jalisco. That's very high on my list.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (16:02):
Wow. Okay, what was it? Enchiladas. Okay, I gotcha.
Beth Demme (16:08):
Not just enchiladas, the mole enchiladas.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (16:11):
Beth Demme (16:12):
Yes. It's the one food that I really am missing. I miss the mole enchiladas. I miss the routine that we had from before the quarantine, although there were things about that routine that were very unhealthy so I try to keep that in mind. I miss seeing my people. I miss seeing-
Stephanie Kostopoulos (16:29):
Beth Demme (16:30):
People from my church and part of that is the routine of what the week you still look like but part of it is just the people. Connecting with some of them on Zoom or whatever that's fine, connecting with some of them on Facebook Live that's nice but I miss being with them.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (16:47):
Do you miss wearing pants?
Beth Demme (16:49):
I wear pants every day.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (16:51):
I do too.
Beth Demme (16:52):
I wear my regular clothes.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (16:54):
Yeah, me too.
Beth Demme (16:55):
I don't [inaudible 00:16:55] where people are not doing.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (16:58):
That's working from home 101 is freaking get dressed. Like I always get dressed. People that say they don't shower and everything I'm like, "I don't understand." That's part of working from home. You need to be presentable to yourself if anything.
Beth Demme (17:13):
No I think a lot of people just don't have that experience of working at home.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (17:16):
Beth Demme (17:16):
And so it's like, "Oh, when I'm at home I'm relaxed." And so when I'm relaxed I don't put on pants apparently. I don't know this is apparently what people are doing.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (17:23):
I know. I always wear pants.
Beth Demme (17:25):
Yeah but I always. I get dressed every single day and then I give myself a really big trophy for it because I'm like, "Wow Beth, you did it. You got dressed today."
Stephanie Kostopoulos (17:34):
Beth Demme (17:34):
What are three things? What are your top three things... I'm going to say the question in full. I want your top three things that you miss most because of this quarantine.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (17:44):
Number one, I miss going to Home Depot, feeling comfortable and just walking the isles. Number two, I miss going to Starbucks and that is something that I would do pretty regularly like on the daily. But every couple of days I would go and work for two hours and that was a place that I got a lot of work done. Number three, seeing my niblings in person.
Beth Demme (18:08):
The little ones yeah, that's got to be hard.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (18:11):
Yeah. So I think this is the longest we've gone without seeing them and we're not really even FaceTiming them much because they do have a schedule within the quarantine and everything. And last time we FaceTimed they just kind of ran around with the phone, which was very, very jarring. But we're sending them things and keeping in touch but it's yeah, and it's the longest. We just realized this, luckily we happened to have seen them the week before quarantine happened. March 1st actually we had lunch with them and then my Dad happened to see them that next week because he was in Orlando for a work thing. You know those work trips we used to have back in the day?
Beth Demme (18:52):
Right. They used to be a essential. It used to be work cannot happen if these conferences don't happen. Learning will stop if you don't get to go to these events. Well no, now we're finding out-
Stephanie Kostopoulos (19:03):
Yeah, apparently no.
Beth Demme (19:04):
Maybe we had sold ourselves a little bit of a bill of goods on that one. I'm missing my mom. You get to see your mom all the time, I haven't seen my mom since March 15th that's really unusual for us. And it would be okay if it was like, "Oh well I'll see her this weekend, this'll be..." Then four or five weeks wouldn't be such a big deal but I'm not sure when it's going to feel safe
Stephanie Kostopoulos (19:24):
Yeah because you saw her on your little failed vacation, spring break vacation, right?
Beth Demme (19:31):
Yes. Spring break Plan B that then got scuttled. We stopped and saw her then but I don't know. I mean like I said we've been home. We haven't been exposed, but what if we were somehow? Because of the limited trips to the grocery store or because we have had to have a lot of repair folks through the house. Because, like I said it somewhere, I think our house got COVID-19 also. So if we somehow were carrying it or we're asymptomatic I just don't want to give that to my mom. So we've been intentionally not making the drive over to see her.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (20:06):
Did I tell you that I got termites? I found out like two weeks ago. Did I tell you that?
Beth Demme (20:12):
You told me that you had some in your yard and they were swarming, but is there any evidence that they came in the house?
Stephanie Kostopoulos (20:18):
No, there's no evidence, but pest control service had to come last week. I guess it was last week after we recorded the podcast. They came and--because you were talking about work people and so all the work was done outside which was nice but I had to talk to them. And I tried to say at a distance and my mom was in my house and she watched me on my security cam and she says, "You weren't far enough apart." And I was like, "Mom, I am trying my best."
Stephanie Kostopoulos (20:41):
When he would talk to me I would look at him, but I'd also look in front of me so that our breaths weren't necessarily--
Beth Demme (20:47):
Stephanie Kostopoulos (20:47):
I was trying my hardest. But yeah, just you were saying there's only so much you can do to protect yourself other than dig a hole in the ground and stay in it kind of thing. So I'm trying my best for sure. But you had mentioned that there are some unhealthy things you were doing before the quarantine and now those have changed. So I'm curious, do you have three new habits that you've adopted during the quarantine that you want to continue afterwards?
Beth Demme (21:15):
So I'm supposed to only want to continue the healthy habits, right?
Stephanie Kostopoulos (21:19):
No it could be any of them.
Beth Demme (21:20):
Because I would also say there have been some unhealthy habits that have formed in the last more than a month, we're talking about five, six weeks so that's plenty of time for unhealthy habits to develop too. Yeah, I think that the pace of life I don't know if that exactly feels a habit to me but just it's a change that has happened because of the quarantine that I would like to continue. And that is we're realizing that we can operate at a slower pace and that the world keeps spinning, life goes on, it's okay.
Beth Demme (21:53):
We have this sense of teamwork in this. I like that. And all of that revolves around being at home together more as a family of four. And eating at home more and doing the dishes together and cleaning the house together and all those things that we had sort of said, "Oh we don't have time to do that. We are just too busy, we you don't have time for that." We are in control of our calendars, our calendars don't control us so it's good to remember that.
Beth Demme (22:19):
And then the last one I think would be I have been more intentional about reaching out to people to check in and to check on. And that was, again, something that I had convinced myself I didn't have time to do before but understanding that I'm in control of my time means I do have time to do those things. Those would be the things for me. Eating at home, more family time and checking on people. What about you? Are there things from this quarantine that you want to continue in the event it ever ends?
Stephanie Kostopoulos (22:54):
Yeah, right. Sitting on my porch more. I have the best porch and although I mean well you have the best porch, but I have the second best.
Beth Demme (23:02):
You have a great porch.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (23:06):
And actually on Amazon I bought a hammock swing or chair, it's a hammock chair for my porch. And I figured out I can move my furniture around and still fit everything in there so I'm excited that we'll be here in a week. So sitting on the porch more I think and just having the windows open in my house. I don't typically think to do that because it's usually gross outside, this time of year happens to be the perfect time in Florida. So just remembering that and kind of being intentional about being outside I think is really important and just the fresh air is great. Also, me and my mom have just been laughing more. I don't know, we haven't intentionally been laughing it just has been happening that we kind of make each other laugh without even realizing it. She had these googly eyes in my house and then it's became this thing where we would just hide googly eyes and just make each other laugh and-
Beth Demme (24:00):
Hopefully people are following you on Instagram and they've seen the googly eyes-
Stephanie Kostopoulos (24:03):
I had post some.
Beth Demme (24:03):
Because it's pretty funny.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (24:06):
Well some of them have stayed in location because it was just pretty great. There are someone of my trash can lid that are pretty epic so those are just too cute not to keep there.
Beth Demme (24:15):
So you guys are laughing with each more, not laughing at each other but with other.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (24:21):
Yes. Like yesterday my mom, I gave her some things and she didn't have something to hold them in so she's holding them all in her arms and she's goes to her car and she puts him in the trunk. And one of them was this new bottle of lotion that's round and my driveway is on a incline and then the whole rest of the neighborhood is kind of tilted down.
Beth Demme (24:42):
Stephanie Kostopoulos (24:43):
So she put the lotion in the car, it fell out of her car and then it continued to just roll down the road. And she just goes running after it but it rolls into the storm drain so there was no getting that out. And then she calls me-
Beth Demme (24:55):
That would be funny.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (24:56):
I didn't see it. She calls me, I was in my house, she calls me just laughing. She's like, "Something happened." She couldn't get out the words it was so funny. And then even more funny after she told me this story and I'm just laughing hysterically, I checked my security camera and there's footage of this happening, it was hilarious. I love watching her run like "oh!." And then a minute later she just comes back empty handed because it's down the storm drain. We look for it, it was gone. It's gone.
Beth Demme (25:27):
It's one of those things you got to try to catch it even if you know you're not going to be able to catch up you've gotta try.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (25:32):
And I got to tell you that is not the first thing that's rolled into the storm drain.
Beth Demme (25:35):
Stephanie Kostopoulos (25:37):
We've had a couple of balls go in that storm drain, I think the other day something almost got in there I was able to catch it. I can't remember it was, but it was something I ran after. But yeah, those darn storm drains.
Beth Demme (25:48):
Was there anything that you were putting off before this quarantine time that you're like, "Yes! Now I've gotten it done." And and it's okay I mean we have talked about this once, but I just want to say it again. If you're not getting anything done, that's okay.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (26:02):
Beth Demme (26:03):
This is a time of grief and trauma even for those who are not infected and who are not closely related to someone who is infected. These changes can produce feelings of grief and anxiety, uncertainty, fear. And so it may be that you're not functioning at your best level and you're not getting anything accomplished.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (26:24):
Can or are? You said can have grief and I was like-
Beth Demme (26:30):
Stephanie Kostopoulos (26:30):
I would say it is.
Beth Demme (26:32):
No. There are some people this is definitely not affecting that way.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (26:34):
Okay. I'm not that person.
Beth Demme (26:37):
You should meet my husband.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (26:38):
I've met him.
Beth Demme (26:39):
He's totally fine with this but I mean-
Stephanie Kostopoulos (26:40):
We share a name.
Beth Demme (26:42):
It's true, you're the Stephs. He is not experiencing the grief of this in the way that that I am.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (26:48):
Do you call him Steph? Because that would be weird.
Beth Demme (26:50):
Stephanie Kostopoulos (26:51):
Oh, okay. So your question, I have an answer for that. I would say yeah, I agree getting nothing productive (that you consider productive) done. Even though waking up is productive-
Beth Demme (27:03):
And putting on pants.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (27:04):
Putting on pants is productive and if you don't put on pants, that's okay. One of the ways I am coping actually with this time is to stay busy with things that are not too much and making my schedule. That is part of how I'm coping with it is to try to be productive but also not berating myself when I'm not productive. But anyways, something that's been on my to do list since January, this is going to be nerdy but that's something that's been on my to do list is I was going to reorganize my Wall Control pegboard in my garage. And I was going to then make a cutout of each of my tools out of vinyl and put it behind the tool so then when the tool's gone, I know what tool goes where and that's super like, okay, that's a little much.
Beth Demme (27:49):
I mean can you just do a label that says what the tool?
Stephanie Kostopoulos (27:53):
Yeah but it's cooler to actually make the outline of the tool and-
Beth Demme (27:58):
It's more work that's for sure.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (27:59):
It is but I have a cricket vinyl cutting machine and so I was like, "That would be easy. I can do it with that." I'm not hand cutting that out, that would be ridiculous. And then Wall Control who makes the metal pegboard that we use everywhere in our house, they have a vinyl for doing this. And so that was what intrigued me and that's what kind of brought me into like, "Oh let me do this." So anyways, been on the list since January. I kept putting it off because it seemed a big task that didn't seem fun doing but it would be fun afterwards it was done. I got it done! Got it done this weekend! So I spent the weekend doing that and I was very proud of myself and it's all done now we're going to make a video about it so you too can learn how to do that for your Wall Control pegboard.
Beth Demme (28:43):
Well would it be a spoiler alert if we put a picture of the finished project in our show notes? Would that spoil things for DIY Projects for Homeowners?
Stephanie Kostopoulos (28:51):
No, we could do that. I don't have a picture but I can take a picture.
Beth Demme (28:55):
You can take a picture. I have confidence that you can figure out how to do that.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (28:57):
I was showing my neighbors a old project the other day on our website and they're like, "This picture is really good. This is like a professional picture." I'm like, "This is what I do." They're like, "Oh, I didn't know you took pictures too." I was like, "Yeah, yeah." She's like, "That's not with your iPhone?" I was like, "No, we have equipment." It was funny and she's like, "Oh." They're like, "Oh, I didn't know you had a camera and everything." Okay, just spoiler alert guys: putting YouTube videos out does not mean we're using our phones for everything. We actually have equipment, at least we do but most YouTubers do. It's a job.
Beth Demme (29:38):
The only thing I had been putting off before the quarantine that we've accomplished is we cleaned out our pantry because-
Stephanie Kostopoulos (29:44):
Woo-hoo. Because you had to.
Beth Demme (29:45):
We had to because with these massive shopping trips, grocery shopping trips because we're doing them so infrequently we had to have a place to put all the food. But other than that I'm just surviving. I'm just trying to adjust to the new normal, this new reality. I probably should make a list of all the things I'm putting off then maybe I could start to tackle them.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (30:09):
It's helpful. That's something I find helpful is to make a schedule and even if I moved the stuff every day to the next day, it's still helpful to see it. And when I'm feeling super bummed and kind of in my head, it helps me to be like, "Okay, I need something to do," and then I see it there and I'm like, "Okay, I'm going to go do that." Just something, even simple things I write down just so I feel like, "Okay yeah, that's something I need to get done."
Beth Demme (30:34):
Yeah. I'm more likely to make my list by sitting down at the end of the day and writing down what I've done and then checking it off.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (30:44):
That's interesting, yeah. I've never been someone that likes to write down what I did during the day. I just feel I did it, that's a waste to write it. So that's interesting that you are the opposite.
Beth Demme (30:55):
But you are writing it down, you're just writing it down before you do it.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (30:57):
I'm writing it down before I do it so then I can cross it off and know that I did it.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (31:05):
Thank you for joining us today on our series, apparently our sixth episode of our quarantine series. We normally during this time we'll kind of promote a little something, but we haven't been doing that during the series because it felt just kind of a little weird. But I got a email from my publishing company yesterday and it was about really helping, in our social media sharing a picture of our book and using the #booksareessential and because they are. I mean they are a part of... We've talked about in the last couple of weeks, what we're watching or binge watching things that.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (31:45):
But along with keeping our mind sharp and kind of escaping our reality is books. And so I do believe that books are essential and are a really important part of that. So I do want to just remind you that I actually wrote a book, it came out just a couple months ago in January. It's called Discovering My Scars and it's my personal memoir and kind of what started us onto this podcast, this is how it all started. And I thought how to kind of push home this books are essential idea. A couple of weeks ago, right before quarantine, I got an email from my publishing company with a couple codes, free download codes for my audio book and my audio book which is-
Beth Demme (32:27):
Well I want to say I love that because I am much more likely to listen to a book in my downtime than to read a book. And part of that is that I'm in seminary, I'm in graduate school so I'm reading a lot for school and it's not as fulfilling as you might imagine. And so I actually love Audible. I listen to it when I'm doing laundry or doing tasks or just really am by myself. If I'm not listening to a podcast then I'm listening to a book that I've downloaded on Audible. So I'm super excited that you have some Audible codes that you actually are able to give away, right?
Stephanie Kostopoulos (33:02):
Yes. So we're not doing like a actual giveaway. I didn't want to deal with like, "You're the winner." So basically what I decided is you can email me if you're listening to this and you would like a free copy of my audiobook and like Beth said, it's through Audible, email me and I'll send you the code. No giveaway, no nothing just email me and I'll give out the codes until I run out of the codes I have. I don't have a ton so if you're interested definitely email me and my email-
Beth Demme (33:33):
Yeah, what's your email address?
Stephanie Kostopoulos (33:34):
My email address is firstname.lastname@example.org it stands for Stephanie Marie Kostopoulos email@example.com
Beth Demme (33:46):
Stephanie Kostopoulos (33:47):
Beth Demme (33:48):
What if they called our voicemail line and left their email address there, would that work?
Stephanie Kostopoulos (33:52):
Yes. So you could also call or text our voicemail line with just your email address and I can also send that to you. Our voicemail number is (850) 270-3308. I will not sell your email, I will not spam your email just so you know.
Beth Demme (34:09):
Stephanie Kostopoulos (34:10):
If you do want to sign up for my newsletter, just tell me that and I'll sign you up but I won't sign you up for anything. I'll just send you the code and the instructions on how to do it which is really easy. I actually did one this morning just to see how the process and it's real easy to get.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (34:25):
At the end of each show, we end with Questions for Reflection. These are questions based on today's show that Beth is going to read and leave a little pause between for you to answer or you can download a PDF from our website.
Beth Demme (34:37):
Number one, think about all of the changes we've experienced during the quarantine. Has the shock of these changes worn off for you? Number two, are you longing for what you had or do you feel you've accepted a new reality? Number three, list three things you miss most because of the quarantine. Number four, list three new habits you've adopted during the quarantine that you want to continue. And number five, is there something that you were putting off that you've been able to accomplish because of the quarantine?
Stephanie Kostopoulos (35:12):
This has been the Discovering Our Scars Podcast. Thank you for joining us.