Questions for Reflection
Each episode we offer you a few prompts to think about how that day's conversation applies to you. You might pause the podcast and answer them right then and there, but if you keep a journal (Steph and Beth both do), you might find one of these PDFs useful. Choose the orientation that fits best in your journal.
Welcome to the Discovering Our Scars Podcast.
Where we have honest conversations about things that make us different. I'm Steph.
And I'm Beth.
I've been in recovery for 13 plus years, and I'm the author of Discovering My Scars, my memoir about my mental health struggles, experiences, and faith.
I'm a lawyer turned pastor who's all about self-awareness and emotional health because I know what it's like to have neither of those things.
Beth and I have been friends for six years, have gone through a recovery program together, and when I wanted to start a podcast, she was the only name that came to mind as co-host.
I didn't hesitate to say yes because I've learned a lot from honest conversations with Steph over the years.
We value having these conversations and we hope you do too.
That's why we do this and why we want you to be part of what we are discussing today. What is our topic today, Steph?
Well, today's topic is: We all see it, but what do we say?
And we have a very special guest.
And we have a guest. I'm so excited. Hopefully that was intriguing enough of a title because it's like, what are we talking about?
We all see it. What are we talking about?
What do we see? We're not going to tell you yet. We're going to introduce the very special guest we have today. I'm so excited because this is a friend of mine that I've had since seventh grade, middle... I think-
Middle school. Yeah, seventh grade.
Yes. So Emily!
Emily in the house, yes.
Thanks for having me.
Yes. We're so excited to have you.
So middle school for you guys, tell me how did you meet? Emily, what's the first thing you remember about Steph?
I remember getting introduced to Steph by one of our friends. We were in a class together learning strategies. I think we got really close more in high school. I remember in our science class we did a project together. Remember that?
I do. Yes.
[crosstalk 00:01:49] the science guy. Neptune, the big blue planet. We had a song and everything. (singing).
Wow! You guys.
I don't remember anything else.
Well I know the whole song, but I'm not going to suggest it. So yeah, I've known Steph for that long and we've had great time-
In Girl Scouts together.
... as Girl Scouts, yep.
I forced her to join the troop.
Yes, she did. Lots of Disney trips together [crosstalk 00:02:16] really fun.
So Steph, what's your first memory of meeting Emily?
It's been a long time. I think it was sixth or seventh grade, but like she said, we met in Learning Strategies. And so as we've talked about previously on the podcast, I have dyslexia and so I was in special classes in elementary school and then in middle school and high school I was in like one class a day. It was a day, right? Each day. But I met Emily in that class because Emily, you must have a learning disability, right?
No, I actually don't. I have a physical disability and they put me in a Learning Strategies class because they didn't have a program for me for, for physical. I used to live in Wisconsin and so when I was in elementary school, they actually had a physical therapist that worked with me every day and so they had a little bit more to offer. So they put me in Learning Strategies. I learned a lot. I met some great friends and stuff, but that was about it. I do think I had a therapist that came like maybe once a month that would come to the school, but it wasn't super helpful. I mean she'd give me some exercises and things to do, but I just continued to go to Learning Strategies.
So Steph, did you know why Emily was in learning strategies?
I'm going to admit Emily's disability is visible, like you can see it. And so I saw it, but when I first met her I thought, "Well that's not appropriate to ask about when I first met her." And then we are friends and then years went by and then I was like, now it's inappropriate because it's been too long. So I have to admit, I think I only asked you like a few years ago. I don't think it's been that long since I asked you about it. So would you mind sharing a little bit about it?
So my understanding of it, there's not a lot of people that have this, it's called Incomplete Transverse Myelitis. And basically when I was really young, like I was a baby, probably one, I had hernia surgery on my left groin, and then they did exploratory surgery on the right and I had a bad reaction to the anesthesia. So they think that's what caused this condition. So I have a narrowing in my spine at T-5 and T-6 and so that causes some tightness in my hips, some spasticity in my legs and my feet area and stuff. So it causes me to walk not normally, with a little bit of a sway.
Yeah. That's what I have. I've been seeing a chiropractors throughout my life. I do physical therapy as well, you know, neurologists. In the last five or six years I had some issues with vertigo and that kind of thing, but that subsided on its own. So the last time I went to the neurologist they said that the narrowing has pretty much healed itself. So right now I just had to have the remnants that probably won't go away—the spasticity and the tightness in certain areas.
Is it because your body never had to use those muscles, so even though it's healed itself, your body doesn't really know how to fully-
So when we say we all see it, but what do we say? The reason that we asked you to be our guest for this is because your walk is a little bit different. Your gait is different than when Steph and I walk, but then it's this question of, "Okay, well what do we say?" Right? So I wonder like has anybody ever been rude to you about it or asked you in a way that made you uncomfortable?
Sometimes like when people just come up to you and are like, " What happened?" It's like, "Okay, that was a little like out of the ordinary or whatever." But I don't mind people that ask about it. I'm happy to share a long winded thing. I can't just say, "Oh I was in a car accident few years ago and that's what happened" or whatever. But I'm always happy to share. Nothing super rude, so I just try to get my spiel down as short as I can. And so I use a cane sometimes, sometimes I don't. If I go long distances, I use a wheelchair. Steph knows we've gone to the [theme] parks many times and she's always my pusher.
I'm a pusher. [crosstalk 00:06:39].
Yeah, pushing me around. And she knows Disney in and out so she gets us in there really quickly.
And it's so fun because I walk fast and so she goes at my speed. No one else goes on my speed, so I can control the speed she goes, it's the best.
And usually in the rides we get a little bit faster cause there's different entrances for wheelchairs. So, it's the best.
I like that. So people sometimes have a hard time keeping up with you because you walk too fast, but Emily can always keep up with you actually.
Yes. I got my wheels.
Actually she's probably a little bit ahead of you.
She's always a little bit ahead.
Yup. And then like Halloween Horror Nights, then we're running into people and all that fun stuff.
That was the best. We went to Halloween Horror Nights this year, and I got so scared. And I was pushing Emily, so I kept pushing her into the people in front of me.
And I was trying to hold the wheels so I wouldn't run into the people. She was just wanting to get through the house as fast as possible.
But it was good because I could protect myself behind Emily. So as the night went, as I got more scared, I'd get lower and lower behind Emily, and I'd be pushing her and just, "Oh, I'm protected." She's a shield. She keeps up with me. It's the best.
Just pushing her into the danger to save yourself.
I think I might have done that.
Wow. Really reveals something about your character Steph. Really does.
I felt bad after every house. I was like, "Oh, I'm sorry. Did I run you into someone?"
Well, and usually we had our friend as a buffer in front of me.
Yes, we had a friend. [crosstalk 00:08:10] and then the tour guide is like, "I'll be in front this time.
"I'll get hit in the shins, take one for the team."
From the time you learned to walk, this is something that you have been learning how to adjust to, right? So if you were to reflect on it, is it something that you wish you could change? And I ask that because Steph says that she would not want to not have dyslexia, that she feels like the coping strategies that she learned and the work ethic that it gave her and the things that she has gained from thinking differently are too valuable, not anything that she would give up. And I wonder if maybe you have something similar with your physical disability.
Yeah, I would say definitely I wouldn't give it up. I mean it's who I am. I feel like I'm more sympathetic, I think, to people with disabilities and I try to be mindful of that and it's made me who I am and I feel like. So no, I probably wouldn't change it.
And also you don't want to give up your sweet handicap parking placard, right?
I was going to say, we call that the rock star.
Rock star parking.
Yeah, rock star parking.
That is another perk about going to the theme park with Emily is we get the rock star parking. I will say from my side of things, having a friend that has—is it called handicap or disability sticker?
I don't like that word. Can we change that?
We can change-
Wait, wait, wait. Pause. Why don't you like that word?
Because handicap in my mind makes it seem like you're limited in what you can do.
Like there's something wrong.
There's something wrong, like you can't do everything that other people can do. I feel like we like label a group of people "handicap." So they're not going to be able to have kids and they're not going to be able to function in regular society and all these things. And I feel like that's not true at all. By the way, Emily's pregnant! Which was so exciting! I was like, "Yay." So it obviously did not interfere with that. I don't know, I feel like that words become like, "Oh, those people."
But I want to say being friends with you, I feel like having experience having you in my life, I realize the handicap stickers are for people that need them and I would never take advantage of that. I've never asked you like, "Can I have your sticker?" Because that's not for me. That's for people that need that and they aren't less than, they're not anything, they're just, they need to park closer. And I'm going to want you to... I'll let you park closer. So have you had experience? Like I've noticed there's more and more of those out there now. Have you noticed? Is there less parking than there used to be or has that changed in any way?
Yeah. You go to some places and it doesn't seem like there's the right amount of spaces, for the size of the place. Like when you and I went to that show, there wasn't very many spaces. When I was at FSU, there weren't a ton of spaces. Luckily I only had a couple of classes in very close proximity. But it got to a point where people were complaining that there weren't enough spaces and it turned out a lot of the students and things were stealing their handicap stickers from their grandparents.
So the cops were driving around on golf carts, and on the handicap sticker they actually have your driver's license number on there to check it. And I actually got checked. I'm like, "Nope, I'm legit."
So watch me walk.
Yeah, here we go. So, yeah, I think they do the best they can and I'm sure it's mandated how many spaces you have to have, but it can be challenging sometimes.
So Steph, you wouldn't ask Emily for her placard, but you don't mind riding with her to get the better parking space, it sounds like.
No, I definitely don't mind walking less of a distance but I also am mindful. Yeah, it's great to benefit from it, but I also want to make sure Emily is taken care of. I don't want her to have to walk a huge long distance, unless we're at the theme parks and I know I can push her. If I know I can do something about it, it's like it's awesome. That's more what it is. Yes, I love the parks of course, but I would never be like, "Emily, I just want your pass. I don't want... " I love hanging out with her. And we have a lot of special little things we do because we've been friends for so long.
Has anybody ever asked you for your parking pass?
I don't think so. No.
Okay. Well I don't want to be the first, so [crosstalk 00:12:48] in that case.
Your husband hasn't ever, "Oops, it's in my car, I didn't know."
No, I don't think anybody's ever asked.
Do you have to get it like renewed once a year or something?
I do. I think it's every four years. And I have a permanent disability, but you have to re-register and make sure everything's legit. And there are some handicap placards that are only temporary. Like if you're having surgery or something like that, you can get a temporary one.
So it's great that your husband never asked you for your handicap pass. We don't want to out him here. That would be bad. But speaking of you are married with a child, so exciting. I am curious, when you were dating before you were married, did your physical disability come up when you were dating? Did it interfere with dating? Anything like that?
Well, I did a lot of online dating and so I always tried to be transparent and I put it out there in my description, "Hey, I have a physical disability." Just putting it out there. And after meeting my husband and we met on match.com, he said that that was one of the things [crosstalk 00:13:53] He said that was one of the things that stood out to him that I was very transparent and honest. There's probably people that were judgmental of that, and are like, "Oh, I don't want to date somebody with a disability and so I don't want to meet you." And they'd be like, "Oh gosh."
Did you ever meet anybody that it seemed like there was an issue once you guys went on a date?
Yeah. There was one guy that I met and we had a conversation and I said, "Was it what you expected?" He's like, "Oh, it was a little worse." And I was like, "Okay, bye." So yeah.
In that Learning Strategies class, were there other kids who had physical disabilities?
I don't think so.
I don't think so.
Was it just the two of you in this class?
No. We had another...
There was like three of us that were really close, and then there was other people. We were kind of close. We talked to other people. It was a very social, beyond being educational, which was less than... A spoiler alert: In my experience, the Florida education system is not the best. I'm just going to put it out there. It's not the best.
I think that Florida has a pretty good educational system actually. I feel like I should defend it.
Okay. I have to say back in my day. I don't know what day you're talking about, but in my day it felt like it wasn't the best. I had a lot of classes that [crosstalk 00:15:31].
Raise your hand.
I didn't take culinary arts.
Oh, you didn't take that one. Oh my gosh. Well, my son is currently in Culinary Arts 3.
Who is his teacher?
It's a new teacher. She wasn't there when you were there.
Oh my gosh. Literally we did worksheets all day.
Yeah, I know they cook.
Yeah, we cooked cookies once. Chocolate chip cookies.
No, no, no. He makes breakfast almost every day.
Depends on the teacher, I guess.
Were there other people in the class who had physical disabilities?
Not that I know of.
Didn't we have a classmate that was autistic? That's not a physical disability.
Oh yeah. Yeah, we did. There was a classmate that had a handler assistant, a hired person to take them to classes. I don't know what we call him.
Not a handler!
An aide. Not a handler. That is wrong. Why would I say that? I'm sorry. An aide. She was very nice. She was in a lot of my classes, so I got to know her very well. Because she was in the learning strategies class, but then she would be in other classes too, like regular classes. But I never knew why people were in that class. I think that was the big thing.
And we didn't really ask. We're just like, "Oh, we're all here together. Learning strategies."
It's just a class, yeah. And I don't really remember learning much in that class.
No. I remember in high school they let us-
Let us study.
Yeah. And we got like extra time on tests and things, but it wasn't...
I don't know what they would have taught in that class because none of you were there for the same reasons.
It was kind of like a study hall. It wasn't ESE. That's different.
ESE would be like special education?
Yeah, that's a different class. This was just kind of like... It was supposed to give us like more in depth... Like in elementary school, it was great for me. I had really individualized attention. That was great. There was only like three of us in that class. But in high school it was a class of like 15 people at one time. So it was more, "Just do your homework. If you have a question, maybe I'll answer it." I don't know. I don't remember-
Strategies for test taking. Did we do any like SAT prep and ACT prep stuff there? I don't remember.
I don't even know.
But your (Emily) strategies for test-taking have nothing to do with Stephanie's.
Exactly, which is why [Crosstalk 00:17:50] and I don't remember us taking tests to see where we are, and then like grouping us and trying to work with each individual person. It was just like, "All right, let's put everybody together."
It sounds like you just had a study hall, which can be very useful and beneficial, but you mentioned that you lived in another state before and that you didn't have learning strategies, you actually had physical therapy, right?
So what age were you or what grade were you in when that changed?
Like fifth grade. Yeah, I remember in Wisconsin actually going to a room that had equipment and things, whereas in Florida it was just, hey, learning strategies, and then this lady that meets with you like once a month to talk about exercises you can do.
But I remember in Wisconsin they even had a group of kids and stuff they would get together and do wheelchair sports. And one of the things that I remember is the doctors were trying to get me to be permanently in a wheelchair. My mom's like, "No, no, no. She's got to walk and they're trying to get me into like wheelchair basketball and that kind of thing. So I would participate in that kind of thing, but no, I need to get out of the wheelchair. So I really appreciate my mom being my advocate. Getting around a wheelchair is hard. Stephanie and I, we went on a trip to New York and man, those subways.
Oh my gosh, New York has a really bad... There were sidewalks that there was no way of getting on or off of them. They didn't have the little curby things and then the subways, there were stairs. We literally would carry her wheelchair down the stairs because we couldn't [crosstalk 00:19:39].
Yeah. Luckily I could get up and go up the stairs. Take my time and... But yeah, not every subway station has an elevator to go up so you have to like go to the particular station that has elevator to get up to the main [inaudible 00:00:19:53].
Remember the one that had an elevator that was going like very slow, it was very sketch, and we were like, "Never again. We're carrying this up the stairs.
That was the worst. New York was the worst and I was thinking if somebody is permanently in a wheelchair, how do they function in New York? I have no idea. But we made it work. It was awesome. We had so much fun in New York. We saw a lot of shows.
Yes we did.
Are there things that your physical disability keeps you from doing? You've shared a lot about what you guys have gotten to do together that's really fun, like Disney and New York and traveling and that kind of thing. But are there things that it prevents you from doing?
I always thought I would want to do like more outdoorsy stuff and like hiking, getting out into nature more. I've tried that but I don't have the best balance and so tripping over roots and things is always a problem. So usually when I go to the gym or something, I don't do a treadmill because I have to concentrate when I walk and make sure I'm picking up my feet because of the spasticity. So I try to do like the arc trainer or something like that. Something that I would probably want to do is hiking or running and just with my physical constraints, I can't do that right now. Maybe one day, if I stretch enough and build up the muscle endurance and stuff.
Are there things about your physical disability that make you nervous when it comes to motherhood?
A little bit. Like getting up and off the floor is always a little bit difficult and making sure I'm carrying my child okay. Because sometimes when I carry things I need to have that balance and stuff, so I'll probably be using the carrier and stuff more than just holding the kid or letting my husband hold the kid. So a little bit, a little bit. I know it'll come with its challenges but I'll get by, I always get by.
As her friend are you nervous about that at all?
I'm not nervous at all because Emily, I've never seen her not be able to do anything she's wanted to do. Yeah. I'm not concerned, I'm just excited, and I've told her like, "Whatever you need, I'm there." If you have questions, I have no answers, but I will do my best. I don't have any kids. So yeah, I'm not nervous about that in any way. I'm just excited and like, put me in coach. Whatever you need, I'll help you win. I'll come watch the kid, I'll feed the cats, whatever you need. So I'm just excited.
Back to when I first met you, obviously I didn't say anything at the beginning. When would have been an appropriate time to ask you about it and how would it have been the best way to ask you?
I mean, as long as it's not the first thing out of your mouth, I wouldn't mind if we're having a conversation and later on the conversation you say, "Hey, I noticed you walk with the cane." Or you-
Okay. That's appropriate? Okay.
Maybe not you limp or you walk bad.
Yeah. So I could say something like, "Hey, I notice you walk a little differently, would you mind me asking you a question about that?" Would that be appropriate?
Yeah. So like, "Would you mind if I ask you something personal?" Just putting it out there and be like, "No, I don't really want to talk about that."
I'm reminded of a time that I was in a CVS or something with my daughter. She's almost 16 now and at the time she would have been like three. She was a late talker and so she was sort of barely talking and there happened to be a man in the store who had one leg, and she kept yelling at the top of her lungs. "Mommy why him only have one leg? Mommy." And I'm like, "Let's talk about it later." "But Mommy, him only have one leg." And I was like, "Oh, she can count to one." It was like this awkward moment. I didn't know what to do and he was really grumpy looking. So it wasn't like we could laugh about it together or engage in a conversation about it. But I don't know, that memory just popped into my head of how uncomfortable I was not wanting to make him uncomfortable, but she was so curious. "Oh my gosh, I've never noticed anybody with only one leg before."
Yeah. I guess I'd rather somebody ask than just stare at you.
And I know it's hard, kids, if the parents haven't had that conversation with them, the kids will just stare at you and be like...
I remember one Halloween, I dressed up like a goblin or whatever, and so I had a goblin face. And so when I went up to the door, I said, "Trick or treat." And she's like, "Oh, you even have the walk that goes with the mask." And that made me cry. I was balling and my dad was with me at the time. He's like, "What's wrong? What's wrong?" And I just remember that, that really hit a cord with me. And she had no idea, so you just got to take it with a grain of salt and realize people don't always know what you're going through and just try to educate them if they ask and it's all you can do.
Do goblins walk straight?
That's exactly what I'm thinking.
I don't know.
What a weird thing for somebody to say.
Monster, goblin. I don't know.
Yeah, I know. That's what I was thinking too.
Do you ever worry that it's something that people have noticed about you by that they're afraid to talk about?
I don't worry about it. I figure if they're curious enough they might. I guess I could maybe do a better job of just like, "If you were wondering about my disability, let me tell you that." Like putting it straight up like, I should have a profile. "Here you go." Just hand you a piece of paper or whatever. But no, I don't really worry about it. I mean if they're interested and want to ask me, they're more than welcome to.
Do you think that your current coworkers, do you think they know what the nature or the source of your physical disability is?
Some of them do. Some of them have asked, but some of them have not. Unless they ask then--
How would they know?
How would they know, right? Yeah.
Do you feel like I waited too long to ask?
So you never felt uncomfortable because I had never asked.
No. Like I was--
That was on me.
No. I was like, "Oh, this friend doesn't like me very much. They haven't asked me."
"Why does she ask me more personal questions? I don't understand."
I probably knew everything else about you except that.
I don't think I ever asked you why you were in learning strategies. I really don't.
I don't think I did.
Did you know I had dyslexia?
When did you learn that? On the podcast? No you didn't.
No. I think you told me once before. I think you told me.
The tables have turned.
When she read the book. When she read your book, she probably [crosstalk 00:26:33].
Did you even read it in the book?
I did read it in the book because you let me read the book a little [crosstalk 00:26:38] I did it. Yes.
Well you probably-
We never like talked about it.
Did it connect a lot of dots for you?
It did. So many dots.
[crosstalk 00:26:47] [inaudible 00:26:48].
I'm just trying to make you self-conscious.
I do wish it came with a little bit of perks, but okay.
Yeah. Like sweet parking. What would be the equivalent to parking with a learning disability?
Extra time on tests?
Yeah. Well that's time has passed. I don't need test time anymore. I think there's other friends and things that we probably never asked like "Why are you in this class?" Well I never asked anybody for money. I really never did.
Yeah, it's like, "Oh, we're in this class together and... "
And I never thought it was weird that you were in the class, that you had a physical disability. I never really thought about it much. It was just we were in that class.
Well, I mean I think teenagers are inherently focused on themselves anyway, right? So maybe that's why it never came up.
It's like a fact about somebody. It is like we have a really tall friend and I've never asked her like, "Why are you so tall?" Think about that though. It just is a fact about the person. So when you think about it in that sense, or like someone that's really short, "Why are you so short?" You don't ask those questions. So it's almost like, "Why would I ask you? You just walk differently. It doesn't matter." This is my friend Emily. That's not how I describe her— "Oh, Emily, she walks different."
I think that's a good point though. You would not ask someone, "Why are you tall?" Right?
Right. Although now my daughter is short and people ask her all the time.
Why are you short?
No, they'll say things like,
"Oh you are short."
Yeah. "Wow, you're really short."
She's not that short. I never thought about it.
Or they'll say, "Oh, don't worry, you're not done growing." She's like, "Yes, I'm totally done growing. The doctors have confirmed I'm done. This is all I'm getting." She's like 5'1.
That's not short, 5'1.
That's a bit short.
She's not. I'm 5'3.
Two inches shorter than you guys. Two inches makes a big difference to her, I'm telling you. When you were a kid, do you ever remember asking your parents about your physical disability or like how they chose to address it with you or explain it to you? Or was it just that you were at the doctor enough that it--
Yeah, I think I was just kind of at the doctor enough and you know, getting physical therapy. My mom always felt responsible for some reason for my disability and I don't know why. Like, "I'm sorry you have to deal with this." And I'm like, "But there are so many other people out there that have it so much worse." I just feel blessed for her being an advocate for me and not wheelchair bounding me and taking me to physical therapy and the chiropractor.
Another thing when I was growing up is I had orthotics and things that I would wear to help with ankle movement and that kind of thing. But I don't really wear those anymore. And then I've used little implants, to change underneath your shoe, how your foot hits the ground and stuff. Because my foot does tend to like curve inward when you walk and stuff. So try to put those in my shoes.
And you said you had hernia as a baby, and the surgery is where the injury happened on the T's, right?
Yeah. So I think it was the anesthesia.
Yeah, the anesthesia. I had a bad reaction so there was spinal trauma.
And we never really pursued it. We might've been able to go back and sue the doctor or whatever. But it's like you don't know until it's too late.
Did the hernia happen in childbirth?
I think so.
Okay. So is that where your mom kind of like feels-
Yeah, she's just a mom.
Yes. Mommy guilt.
Mommy guilt. It's a thing.
It's a thing. There's plenty of it. Motherhood, the guilt that keeps on giving. So what do you think is the first thing that people notice about you?
I've heard my smile.
Yes, for sure.
That I try to be positive, have a positive outlook on life.
You never are concerned about people noticing your disability or noticing it and not saying anything?
If they are, I try not to internalize that.
I remember one of our classmates, I met him out and about and he said, "Oh, I remember people making fun of you at school." And I was like, "I never saw that." Like I was never looking for that. And maybe he was just saying something just to try to get on my good side or something. I have no idea. But yeah, he said, "I remember people making fun of you and I always tried to defend you or whatever." And I was like, "Okay, I don't even remember that."
Well, I can say I never saw that as your friend.
But that's interesting. Whether that was true or not, that's interesting that you weren't looking for it because you had a positive outlook on life. And I think that's huge is if you're looking for something, you're probably going to find it. If you're looking for the negative, you're probably going to find it. So your attitude and you're just like, "Hey, let them think what they want. I'm going to keep living my life." And you've been wildly successful in life. You have a great marriage, you are pregnant, you have a very steady job that you've had for 10 plus?
Yeah, 11 years. Yep.
Yeah. Which is amazing. She's the best.
Well Emily, I'm so excited that we had you here. I will have to say, I asked you if you'd be on the podcast before we started the podcast.
I think so.
Had we even started?
Yeah, when we were first talking about it. And I was like, "Sure."
Yeah. I was like, "I'm writing down names and you are always on the first list." I was like, "We're going to get you in because I want to have you on." And I have all my friends and you are the first of like the 10 ladies.
Thanks for having me.
Thank you for being here. We do have one last question, just a fun one. Beth, can you take it away?
Yes. So I just want to echo Steph's thanks. Thanks for being here and having an honest conversation with us about what it's like to be a person with a physical disability, and I do really applaud how positive you are about that. I think that's something that we can all take away from it.
We've asked you lots and lots of questions, but we're wondering what's a book or a TV show or a podcast, other than this one, that you're really into or excited about right now?
So I would say A Good Place.
I'm looking forward to the last season coming to Netflix because I don't have... Yeah. So I know it's wrapping up but that's just such a lighthearted and good show and-
It just premiered. The finale just [crosstalk 00:00:32:57].
I haven't seen it yet, so I'm really looking forward.
My mom just said that today. She was like, "Did you see the finale?" I was like, "No, I was waiting for it to be on Netflix."
Well I hope that when it comes to Netflix that they do what they did when they broadcast it, which is that immediately after the last episode they actually had a cast reunion.
Oh that [inaudible 00:33:14] Nice.
And so it was really neat to hear from the five or six of them. Just to hear the cast like how genuinely they liked each other made me happy because I had enjoyed the show so much. So it was nice to know that it was something that they enjoyed doing as well.
We learned something about Kristen Bell yesterday, didn't we Beth? What did we learn about Kristen Bell since we were talking about The Good Place?
Well, because she believes it was wrong to lie to children, she has told her children there's no such thing as Santa Claus.
Oh really? You love her even more.
Someone [crosstalk 00:33:45] Who doesn't love Kristen Bell? But she doesn't lie to her kids though. Hey you know that Santa is a lie, I'm just saying. Reference our previous episode.
Beautiful metaphor for the spirit of giving.
But Kristen Bell doesn't think so, so-
Right. At the end of each episode we like to finish with Questions For Reflection. These are questions you've written about today's show, and Beth will read it and pause a little bit so you can pause the podcast if you want to answer it to yourself or there's a PDF available on our website.
#1: What do you think is the first thing people notice about you? Why? #2: What do you think when you see someone with a physical disability? What do you say? #3: Is there anything about yourself you hope people don't notice? What is it? #4: What did you hear in this conversation with Emily that you can use in your own life?
This has been the Discovering Our Scars podcast. Thanks for joining us.