E135: New Year Reflections

Questions for Reflection

If you keep a journal (Steph and Beth both do), feel free to download and print a PDF of the Questions for Reflection we've made just for you: 
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Landscape or Portrait

1. What was the most exciting part of last year?
2. What was the most disappointing part?
3. What did you start doing that was life giving?
4. When you think of 2022, what image or images comes to mind?
5. Which people had the biggest impact on your life last year?
6. What intentional practices do you want to continue, or start, doing for mind, body, and soul?
7. Was there something from last year that you know you do not want to carry over into this year?
8. When you reflect on the past year, were you happy? What does happy mean to you?
9. Is there something exciting you’ve been putting off for years?
10. What is something you tried last year that is out of your comfort zone?
11. If you could set an intention for how you will spend the holidays this year, what, if anything, would you change?
12. Reflect on your current job. Do you see yourself in the same job for the next 1-5 years?
13. How do you feel about the new year, every year? (Is the new year a source of hope for you, or just another day on the calendar?)
14. What three words best describe your life right now?
15. Who do you want to be more intentional about spending time with this year?

Transcript

Beth Demme (00:03):
Welcome to the Discovering Our Scars podcast.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (00:06):
Where we share personal experiences so we can learn from each other. I'm Steph.
 
Beth Demme (00:09):
And I'm Beth.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (00:09):
I've been in recovery for 16 years and am the author of Discovering My Scars, my memoir about what's done in darkness eventually comes to light.
 
Beth Demme (00:16):
I'm a lawyer, turned pastor who's all about self-awareness and emotional health because I know what it's like to have neither of those things.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (00:23):
Beth and I have been friends for years, have gone through a recovery program together, and when I wanted to start a podcast, she was the only name that came to mind as co-host.
 
Beth Demme (00:31):
I didn't hesitate to say yes because I've learned a lot from sharing personal experiences with Steph over the years.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (00:36):
We value honest conversations and we hope you do too.
 
Beth Demme (00:38):
On today's show, we're going to have an honest conversation titled, "New Year Reflections."
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (00:44):
Happy New Year.
 
Beth Demme (00:45):
Happy New Year. It's 2023.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (00:49):
Woo-hoo. Yes. I'm very excited about this year, which is not typical for me, but we'll get into all that. But we really want to set the stage for what we are talking about today. Because I think every time the new year comes about, we always hear about New Year's resolutions.
 
Beth Demme (01:05):
Right. New Year's resolutions. But we're not about resolutions today, we're about reflections.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (01:11):
Yes. So we really want to reflect on the year that was and the year that is to come. So this episode's going to sound a little bit different. We are actually going to go through a list of reflecting questions throughout the whole episode. So if you've listened to an episode before, you know that we do Questions for Reflection at the end of each episode, where we reflect on that previous episode. And today, this whole episode is a reflection. So there won't be Questions for Reflection at the end.
 
Beth Demme (01:35):
Right.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (01:35):
Because that would be redundant.
 
Beth Demme (01:36):
Right.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (01:37):
And so we are actually going to answer some of these questions on the podcast, and then we're going to leave a thirty second break for you to answer to yourself. And it's actually 30 seconds because if you're using the Apple Podcast app, there's a little button down there where you can fast forward 30 seconds. So if you don't want to answer it right now, you can fast forward. If you do need more time, you can just pause and have plenty of time. And as always, you can find a PDF of all of the questions that we're going to go over on our website if you want to journal those as well.
 
Beth Demme (02:08):
Yep. We're just going to be pausing to think about how we can create some intention going into the new year. So this will be good.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (02:17):
Yeah.
 
Beth Demme (02:17):
I'm looking forward to it.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (02:18):
So Beth, I'm going to start with you. What was the most exciting part of last year?
 
Beth Demme (02:22):
The most exciting part of 2022 is that, for me, travel was back.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (02:28):
Oh, you love to travel.
 
Beth Demme (02:29):
I love to travel.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (02:30):
Yeah.
 
Beth Demme (02:30):
And didn't get to travel in 2020 or 2021, but in 2022 we got to take a family trip to New York City. That was really great. And we got to see a few Broadway plays. That was fantastic. And then for work, I got to go to Ireland. And I was in Ireland for almost two weeks. That was amazing. And then actually in September, my husband and I took a couple of weeks off and we flew out to Nebraska and then we did a road trip for, like I said, for a couple of weeks through a bunch of states. So that was just great. It was just so great to be able to travel again. That was definitely the most exciting part of last year.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (03:07):
All right. Well, let's do the opposite. What was the most disappointing part of last year?
 
Beth Demme (03:42):
Okay, so disappointing. I have two things. Can I have two things?
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (03:48):
Sure. Because you had like 12 things for the first one.
 
Beth Demme (03:50):
No, it was one thing. Travel was one thing.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (03:52):
Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Gotcha.
 
Beth Demme (03:54):
No, there were two disappointing parts of 2022. One is that my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. And so that has shifted some things in our lives since about August. And she's continuing to deal with that. But she has a really good prognosis and we're more than optimistic. I really think that this is going to end up just being a blip for her.
(04:18):
But it was disappointing for her to get that diagnosis for sure. And then the other big disappointment is just everything that has been going on in the United Methodist Church and the way that some churches have chosen to leave, and the, from my perspective, what I would say are lies that are being, have been told. That really sticks out with me in 2022 that people who I trusted ended up not being truthful. Okay. Your turn, Steph. What did you start doing last year that was life giving?
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (05:22):
Well, that has to be the thing I started in September, or yeah, it was September or October. I started doing yoga.
 
Beth Demme (05:31):
Oh.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (05:31):
Which I think we've talked about. I think there was an episode, I don't know if I cut it out, but there was an episode where we talked about yoga and both of us laughed and said we would probably never do that. And so it was kind of funny. My doctor actually recommended. I had a weird pain in my leg. She's like, "You may want to try yoga. It might help stretch you out." And it has been so life changing really, which is so, I feel silly saying it because I'm like, okay, it's just yoga.
 
Beth Demme (06:00):
Yeah.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (06:01):
But it's really helped me be able to do all the other activities that I want to do. And it's really helped me with my breathing. I didn't realize I had an issue with breathing, but through yoga I've realized I'm able to breathe better. And it's just something I have noticed. So that's been very life giving and I will, I'm continuing it. I actually just did a 10-minute yoga before we started, so I'm relaxed.
 
Beth Demme (06:25):
Very nice.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (06:56):
Beth, when you think of 2022, what image or images come to mind?
 
Beth Demme (07:01):
Okay, this is another one where I wonder if I can have more than one.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (07:04):
I'm going to give you a blanket statement and everyone that is answering for themselves, this is for you.
 
Beth Demme (07:09):
Oh, okay. Oh, [inaudible 00:07:10]
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (07:10):
So you can have whatever you want because this time is for you. This is reflection for your own life and not for anyone else.
 
Beth Demme (07:18):
So when I think of 2022, I have a positive image and a negative image. And the positive image is I can visualize my daughter in her graduation, her cap and gown because she graduated from high school. And so 2022 will always be a banner year for her. I mean, it's just something you remember. You always remember what year you graduated from high school.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (07:41):
Yeah.
 
Beth Demme (07:41):
What that was like. And so that's definitely a positive image. The negative image from 2022 would just be sort of a blanket shooting image. But the two that really continue to weigh on me are the grocery store shooting in Buffalo because it was racially motivated and people were just grocery shopping.
(08:10):
I mean, it's just, you should be able to go grocery shopping. And then the Uvalde School shooting. So the image for me is actually just the word Uvalde. But with the Buffalo shooting, for whatever reason, I researched who the victims were and learned some things about their lives. And so I can see their faces. And so those are the images of 2022 that really stick with me. Steph, which people had the biggest impact on your life last year?
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (09:13):
I assume I can't say you because you're here.
 
Beth Demme (09:16):
Present company extended.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (09:18):
And when we say people, does that not count the furry kind of...
 
Beth Demme (09:24):
I...
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (09:24):
Like an animal.
 
Beth Demme (09:25):
You know what? This is for you. This is for you to reflect on the year that was and the year that is now underway. And so I'm going to let you answer that however you feel led.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (09:37):
Well, I love that. Okay, thank you. If we are opening this to animals, this could take a while. Well, the first, the number one person that I've actually probably spent the most time with, well, obviously my mom I spend a ton of time with. She's always the coolest. But the person I've spent a lot of time with this year is my friend Stephanie. And not me, it's a different person.
 
Beth Demme (10:01):
I was just going to say.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (10:01):
Not me.
 
Beth Demme (10:02):
Now she's real. It's not like you're just in the mirror and, "Stephanie, you're the greatest."
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (10:07):
Well, that should be.
 
Beth Demme (10:07):
"Stephanie, we should go kayaking." So.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (10:08):
I think you could also include yourself as the someone you want to spend more time with. I think that's also, I do think that that is not a bad thing, is, you could have had an impact. Anyways, it's a real person. But my friend Stephanie, we have actually been kayaking together for a whole year. We just celebrated our one-year paddle-versary in November. And we've just become really good friends and we both have Greyhounds and we love to kayak.
(10:37):
And we were told by her husband that we really like to kayak. He was like, "You guys like to kayak more than normal people. Okay?" And I was like, I'd never thought of it before. And I was like, he might be right. Okay. So I always have that play in my head, we kayak a lot. Which is not a problem. But I would say she's had a good positive impact on my life. And then obviously every Greyhound I know.
(11:06):
Her Greyhound, Niles, he is, I just had him stay a couple days at my house and he is just so sweet and he will cuddle with you. And just every Greyhound is just so unique and different and they just bring so much joy and energy into my life and they're the best people. All right, Beth, I think we need to answer the next one for both of us.
 
Beth Demme (11:59):
Okay. [inaudible 00:12:00]
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (11:59):
So I'm going to ask you first.
 
Beth Demme (12:00):
Okay.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (12:00):
Ask you first. What intentional practices do you want to continue or start doing for mind, body and soul?
 
Beth Demme (12:07):
I don't know what I want to start doing, but towards the end of 2022, maybe in October-ish, I started walking three times a week for at least 30 minutes. And I definitely want to continue that this year because it's improved, my overall balance has improved and it's easier to go up and downstairs. There are just things that I can see that are improving.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (12:34):
On the treadmill?
 
Beth Demme (12:34):
Yeah.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (12:35):
Yeah.
 
Beth Demme (12:35):
I walk on the treadmill. Yeah.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (12:36):
You have to go up the stairs to go to the treadmill?
 
Beth Demme (12:38):
I do.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (12:38):
So it helps you.
 
Beth Demme (12:40):
Yeah. Well, and that's why I noticed it is at Christmas I was, I also wrap presents upstairs. And so going up and down the stairs, I was like, this year it's so much easier.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (12:50):
Wow. Oh that's awesome.
 
Beth Demme (12:51):
So yeah, so I was really.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (12:52):
Yeah.
 
Beth Demme (12:52):
I definitely want to continue doing that.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (12:54):
And you have a wrapping room? Wow.
 
Beth Demme (12:56):
Yeah.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (12:56):
Wow. So the walking covers all three?
 
Beth Demme (13:00):
Yeah, the walking covers all three.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (13:01):
Okay.
 
Beth Demme (13:01):
Because it's my body, but then also I'm listening to things that are engaging my mind or I am praying all of that time.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (13:10):
Okay. Well, you didn't mention that. Okay.
 
Beth Demme (13:12):
All that happens when I'm walking on the treadmill.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (13:15):
Okay. Well, that's awesome.
 
Beth Demme (13:16):
Yeah.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (13:16):
Okay. I get it now. Okay, perfect. Well, I broke it down into three separate things.
 
Beth Demme (13:22):
Okay.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (13:23):
But I agree all three of these things help with all three of, they all go together too. But for mind, something that's really helped me with my mental health this year is kayaking. I just, when I mean, when I was kind of reflecting on this episode today, I was like, "Man, 2022 was a good year." And I just think of fresh air when I think of 2022. And it's because I think I kayaked at least 60 times.
 
Beth Demme (13:54):
That's a lot of kayaking. Stephanie's husband is right.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (13:57):
Not my husband by the way.
 
Beth Demme (13:58):
No, no, your friend Stephanie's husband.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (14:00):
That's true.
 
Beth Demme (14:02):
But I think that's great.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (14:04):
So that has really helped my mind. So I want to definitely continue doing that. For body, yoga has really, really helped my body as I kind of mentioned before. And it, also I have a lot of neck and shoulder pain that I've had for years and nothing has really ever helped it go away. Nothing's ever made it go away.
(14:25):
But the yoga, I don't know if, I don't want to say it's magical and I don't want to say it's fixed all my problems because that seems like a lot to give to yoga. But I have not had the pain that I have had in the past. And I'm able to do. Sometimes when I'm working on, when I'm doing a DIY project and woodworking and I'm doing a lot of repetitive motions, I get really stiff in my neck and shoulder and have a lot of pain and I'm not really having that I did before.
(14:54):
So I think yoga has been very good for my body. And for my soul, something that has made me just really happy and excited besides those other things is me and my mom both bought e-bikes from Costco that were on sale and they are so fun. They aren't really a huge exercise thing because you don't have to put a lot of effort into it. And the best thing is when you see a big old hill, you just crank the turbo and it just brings, you don't have to peddle.
 
Beth Demme (15:21):
Oh nice.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (15:22):
It just brings you up. You want to get, find hills when you are on this bike. It's so fun. And it's just, it's just been great for my soul. I'm just like, I love this. This is so cool. And also I've started doing meditations. So I have this subscription to the Apple Fitness Plus app and that's where I've been doing my yoga. And they also have, they have a lot of other things in there, but they also have meditations. And I've been trying to do a meditation every night. That's been really good for my mind.
 
Beth Demme (16:19):
Well, let me ask you, was there something from last year that you know you do not want to carry over into 2023?
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (16:27):
So like I said, when I think back on the year, it's really been a good year. But one of the things in the last few years that has really kind of been a bummer and kind of a downer is my business mother-daughter projects that I do with my mom. We used to have a yearly sponsorship with the Home Depot and we had multiple other sponsorships with other companies and they really, after COVID happened, they didn't continue.
(16:54):
And I do feel like we are headed for a recession at some point. At least that's what everyone keeps telling us. And so I think it's going to continue to be a tough road for sponsorships. And so what I would like to not continue into next year is to be kind of gloomy about that. And I want to just, maybe the business needs to change in a way.
(17:25):
And that's something that I'm going to really reflect on this year is, is there changes I need to make? Do I want to make changes? I mean, ultimately, because we didn't have the sponsorships that we did, I was able to actually spend more time kayaking.
(17:39):
And that has been really amazing for my mind. And so I don't overall, when I think back, I don't think like, "Oh." Because financially, I'm not struggling or anything. It's just something I don't want to continue is to kind of harp on what was, I want to look forward as to what will be and could be.
 
Beth Demme (18:31):
When you reflect on the past year, were you happy and what does happy mean to you?
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (18:37):
Oh, happy. Happy. I've had such a struggle with the word happy because I feel like it's such a heavy word and it can mean something different to everybody. But when I look back on the year, yes, I was happy. And I think for me what happy means is when I have to think about the last time I was depressed. That to me, when I have to sit there and think, "Huh."
(19:04):
Or when I have to wonder, "Have I taken an anxiety pill this year? When was the last time I had anxiety?" For me, depression is something that's very kind of ingrained in my life because it's something I've struggled with for so long. But I can't pinpoint a time this year that I was really, really struggling with depression or anxiety. And also, I can't think of a time when I was really thought about self-injury and that's something that is always there still.
(19:37):
It can still come up for in my life. But there's times when I think, "Huh, I haven't thought about that." And that's how I know I'm happy because I'm not, I can't remember the last time that I was really struggling with anxiety, depression, or self-injury. But how about for you, Beth? When you reflect in the past year, were you happy and what does that mean to you?
 
Beth Demme (19:59):
Yeah. I think that I was happy in the last year. I think that happy is my default. I think it's...
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (20:04):
I would agree.
 
Beth Demme (20:05):
One of, I think it's one of the few ways in which you and I are different because we are actually similar in a lot of ways. But yeah, I think happy is my default. I smile a lot. I try to share joy, try to find joy. I would say, what does happy mean to you?
(20:18):
I do think that happy is more of like a, it was interesting that you said it was a heavy word, because I think of it as more of a surface word that happiness is a surface condition and it can be circumstantial. Whereas joy to me is deeper and more fundamental and more from within. But I definitely experienced happiness and joy in 2022.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (20:47):
Happy comes easily to some people and some people it doesn't. Like you said, your default is happy. I would never say that. I don't even know what that would look like for me. And I think it's like, I don't want to be as so simple as introverts versus extroverts. I don't think it's that. But I think there's, I think it's probably part of your DNA that you just default to happy and it's not in my DNA. And I don't know that, to me, I just don't think I can ever be you in that way. I don't think I could ever learn to be the happy that you have naturally.
 
Beth Demme (21:23):
I wonder if the shadow side of that is people pleasing. I want to be happy and I want everybody to be happy and what can I do to make you happy and what can I do to make you happy? And you and you and you and... you know? I wonder if that's the.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (21:36):
So people please, people that would define themselves as people pleasers are generally more happy?
 
Beth Demme (21:43):
They might default to happy.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (21:45):
To happy.
 
Beth Demme (21:45):
Because it's like that's, I'm trying to get everybody to that place.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (21:49):
Yeah.
 
Beth Demme (21:50):
I don't know. I have not reflected on that maybe as much as I can.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (21:54):
There's a YouTuber that me and my mom watches, a Disney YouTuber whose mom comes every now and then and they just did a bit. And every time we see this mom, she is the happiest darn lady.
 
Beth Demme (22:05):
Yeah.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (22:06):
Ever.
 
Beth Demme (22:06):
Yeah.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (22:06):
And she just is infectious. I want to watch her. I can never be her because she's just so authentically happy. And she's probably in her sixties.
 
Beth Demme (22:16):
Yeah.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (22:16):
Probably her seventies, and she's just so...
 
Beth Demme (22:18):
Yeah.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (22:18):
Happy. And they're from Pensacola.
 
Beth Demme (22:20):
Oh.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (22:20):
So I think it might be a Pensacola thing.
 
Beth Demme (22:23):
Maybe it's a Pensacola thing. Maybe it is.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (22:24):
It could be because that's where both of you are from. And so based on both of you guys being so generally happy, I'm pretty sure that's what it is.
 
Beth Demme (22:30):
So Steph, is there something exciting that you've been putting off four years?
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (23:07):
Yes. Yes, there is, Beth. I haven't been skiing for 10 years.
 
Beth Demme (23:13):
Oh.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (23:14):
A decade.
 
Beth Demme (23:14):
A decade.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (23:15):
Yes. I love to ski. I'm from Florida.
 
Beth Demme (23:19):
Right.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (23:19):
And I, when I was in my twenties, I realized I want to live life now and not wait till I'm retired. And so I went skiing for the first time and I absolutely loved it. And my friend Jason went with me and then the next year we went again and then the next year we went again. And then the last time we went was 2013. And that, right after that I moved back to Tallahassee and we haven't gone skiing since. And so I have been wanting to go for a while and it just never worked out. And finally this year I was like, "I'm making it happen." So I made all the plans in November and I'm going again with Jason and we're going in February.
 
Beth Demme (24:04):
Your way.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (24:04):
On the slopes.
 
Beth Demme (24:04):
Yeah.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (24:04):
And I'm already prepping. So I am doing ski prep, so I have some exercises in the Fitness plus app that I'm doing. And my mom also bought me this really cool ski machine that, it's kind of like an elliptical.
 
Beth Demme (24:15):
Nice.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (24:15):
But it's the opposite direction. So it's like you're skiing and is really cool. It works really well. What's something you tried last year that was out of your comfort zone?
 
Beth Demme (24:55):
Yeah, I love my comfort zone. I really do. There were times when I was taken outside of my comfort zone, and but really as part of my work. So there were...
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (25:09):
So you had to.
 
Beth Demme (25:10):
Yeah. Yeah. So I would say the thing that took me out of my comfort zone was providing one-on-one assistance to people who were experiencing everything from domestic violence to homelessness, to a mental health crisis, to the loss of an adult child, walking with people in those things. The grief part is actually not outside my comfort zone, so I shouldn't include that.
(25:37):
But the domestic violence, the homelessness. Honestly, homelessness by choice, and then mental illness that those, that was outside my comfort zone. If you could set an intention for how you will spend the holidays this year, what, if anything, would you change? I know it's a few months away, but what would you change?
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (26:30):
Yeah, we just got through the big holiday season. Well, for me, the holiday season's kind of ever changing because my Niblings, they actually live in Orlando now and they used to live in Tallahassee, so we were more consistent with how the holiday would go. But their parents aren't always able to get the time off from work so it's always, it's kind of a balance.
(26:55):
We never know exactly what it's going to look like. But it worked out well. They actually came for Thanksgiving and we went down there for Christmas and they were up here a little bit for Christmas, so we were able to kind of make it work. So for me, I think the holiday season is more about being flexible and not having, so for me, basically work-wise, I really just try to get everything done before kind of the big seasons so that I'm available for whatever the Niblings schedule allows.
(27:30):
I've been happy with that. I think actually the last few years holidays I've been more content than I have in the past. I know one year I remember thinking I just was, it was stressful and just we all did gifts and it was just all this stuff and I was like, "Next year I want to just go on a trip for a week and just be by myself for Christmas." That's what I want to do. It's before I had the dogs. And I literally put it on my schedule for the next year to remind myself, "Go on a trip." And then I think that was around when COVID happened.
 
Beth Demme (28:04):
Oh, right.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (28:04):
So it was like, eh. That really went out of my brain. But I, there's actually, I, especially with having the dogs, I just want to stay home and be in my little cubbyhole with my pups. So I don't know, I think I'm happy with how things are. We have gotten out of the, everyone has to get a gift kind of thing because we're not big on gifts and so why be force these things?
(28:27):
So I would say I don't think I have anything that needs to change, but it's definitely something I always want to be mindful of and kind of evaluate every year to see what could be, what's the best thing for my mental health. So Beth, why don't you reflect on your current job? Do you see yourself in the same job for the next one to five years?
 
Beth Demme (29:16):
Same job? I do think I will be in the same job for the next one to five years.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (29:22):
Which is?
 
Beth Demme (29:23):
Which is that I am a United Methodist pastor. I can't say for sure that I'll be serving at the same church because that actually is not my decision. But I hope that I will get to be at this church for the next one to five years. Now there are days when that changes because no job is perfect. But not to repeat what I said in an earlier question, but I really am happy.
(29:47):
And I hope that I get to stay at this particular church for the next one to five years. There are some things that it's really hard to do or to accomplish or to see if you move churches all the time. And so I'd like to really settle in and see how this congregation sort of evolves and how some of the seeds that they've planted, how it all kind of manifests and grows into something over the next five years. How do you feel about the new year every year, Steph? Is the new year a source of hope for you or is it just another day on the calendar?
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (30:56):
I feel like the new year is really emphasized in society. It just seems like too much pressure for a [inaudible 00:31:05], especially when you talk about resolutions and everybody wants to go to the gym and do this and do this. And I prefer to have those things happen throughout the year, to make those choices throughout the year and not put so much emphasis on the beginning of the year.
(31:18):
I do have things that I close out, photo library every year. I move files that I worked on from one year. I categorize things computer wise, but I try not to put too much emphasis on it because I just feel like it's a recipe for disaster. That's why I like the idea that we're here reflecting, is we're just really taking that time to reflect.
(31:39):
Because I would say I don't do that often is reflect on things that I've done and will be doing. But I like to have those kind of marks throughout the year and not just all at one time of the year. What three words describe your life right now?
 
Beth Demme (32:24):
Three words that describe my life. Happy. As we've talked about. Full, my life is full in ways that are good and in ways that are maybe sometimes it's over-full. And I would say fulfilling. I think fulfilling is my third word, that I'm getting to do work through the podcast and through my day job that really is fulfilling. Who do you want to be more intentional about spending time with this year?
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (33:27):
Well, I think I'm going to go back to Stephanie. I want to continue spending time with Stephanie. Also, I have a.
 
Beth Demme (33:33):
Can you be more intentional about spending time with her? I don't know.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (33:37):
Could I? That's true. I think I'm already intentionally doing that. Well, I want to continue my intention of doing that. I want to continue, I want to be intentional about spending time with Emily, who we've had on the podcast.
 
Beth Demme (33:49):
Yeah.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (33:50):
And Megan, which I'm actually seeing both of them tomorrow. So check. And I have a friend that actually lives in another state now and we do a weekly video chat. So I definitely want to continue that because I think it's important people that bring joy to my life and people that are kind of life giving is making room for them.
(34:15):
And there are some DIY friends of mine that I want to reach out to you. I used to see them when I go to conferences and stuff, but it's been a while since I've gone to a conference, so I need to reach out to them. So yeah, that's good to think about that. What adventures do you want to have this year, Beth?
 
Beth Demme (35:03):
That is a good question because I love to find adventure.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (35:08):
Yeah.
 
Beth Demme (35:08):
So well, actually pretty soon if everything works out, we are going to go snowmobiling for the first time.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (35:17):
Where?
 
Beth Demme (35:18):
So like an actual adventure. In Montana, I think.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (35:21):
Wow.
 
Beth Demme (35:22):
As we're recording this, I'm still finalizing the details.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (35:25):
Oh.
 
Beth Demme (35:25):
But that's the plan.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (35:27):
When are you planning to go, in January?
 
Beth Demme (35:29):
Actually, yeah,. Yeah, the middle of the month, so.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (35:32):
Snowmobiling.
 
Beth Demme (35:33):
Snowmobiling.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (35:34):
Wow.
 
Beth Demme (35:34):
We love ATVing.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (35:34):
Yeah.
 
Beth Demme (35:35):
We love off-roading. But I think, we did try skiing and I did not like it. In fact, when I called the snowmobile place, let me just say the people of Kalispell and Whitefish, Montana are so nice to talk to you on the phone. So delightful. Thank you everyone who's been helping me. But they said, "You'll need." I was like, "Okay, I'm from Florida, I have no experience with this, what am I going to need?" And they said, "Well, you're going to need boots." And she said, "It'll be like, it's like ski gear. You'll need a heavy coat, you'll need probably...
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (36:11):
Waterproof.
 
Beth Demme (36:12):
"Waterproof everything."
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (36:13):
Yeah.
 
Beth Demme (36:13):
"Waterproof everything. You'll probably want to wear your bib overalls and you'll need boots." And I was like, "Not ski boots, right? Because those are torture devices." And she said, she laughed. She was like, "No, no, not ski boots, just waterproof boots."
(36:24):
And she's like, "Actually we have waterproof boots here that you can use." And I was, "Oh. Okay. Good." So that's an adventure that we're going to have. I think when I reflect on this more, there will probably be some other adventures. That one is just so front of mind because it's coming up soon.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (36:42):
Yeah.
 
Beth Demme (36:42):
But yeah, there are definitely other good adventures. How about you? What adventure do you want to have this year?
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (36:48):
Well, we already know an adventure I'm going to have is going skiing in February.
 
Beth Demme (36:52):
Yes.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (36:53):
That's planned. It's happening. Also, I got travel insurance for the first time. I got travel insurance for my ski trip because the world has changed in some ways. And I was like, "Well, if something happens or someone gets sick or I might want to have insurance." So that was interesting. I also would really like to try whitewater kayaking this year.
 
Beth Demme (37:14):
Ooh.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (37:14):
There's a place in Georgia where you can learn to whitewater kayak. So I would really love to do that. And they also have whitewater rafting. I've done that before. I'd like to do that again. I'd love to find a friend that would go skydiving with me, but I still haven't found a friend that would do that. I've been skydiving once and it was amazing. I want to go again. And another thing I'd like to do, an adventure, is my friend just recently moved to another state and I want to visit her over the summer because it's got to be not as hot as it is in Florida. So...
 
Beth Demme (37:48):
Yeah. yeah.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (37:49):
So I'm hoping to visit her. And she lives near a big lake and so got to kayak that. And there's a lot of hiking trails over there, so I'm very excited to check that out. And so those are some of the adventures that I can think of so far right now that I want to get up into. So what do you think, how do you think this episode went, Beth?
 
Beth Demme (38:40):
I think taking time to reflect is a very good thing to do. I think it's a very powerful tool and I'm grateful to have had the opportunity to do that.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (38:51):
Yes.
 
Beth Demme (38:52):
How about you? What do you think?
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (38:52):
So I am looking forward to this year and kind of seeing all the adventures you get into and hearing all about that. And I'm excited to continue to have honest conversations with you this year and for many years to come.
 
Beth Demme (39:09):
Thank you everyone for listening, and we hope that this has been a positive time of reflection for you and that you have now set some new year reflections and not just New Year's resolutions.
 
Stephanie Kostopoulos (39:21):
This has been the Discovering Our Scars podcast. Thank you for joining us.