Show NotesQuestions for Reflection
Each episode we offer you a few prompts to think about how that day's conversation applies to you. You might pause the podcast and answer them right then and there, but if you keep a journal (Steph and Beth both do), you might find one of these PDFs useful. Choose the orientation that fits best in your journal.
Transcript
Beth:
Welcome to the Discovering Our Scars Podcast. Steph: Where we have honest conversations about things that make us different. I'm Steph. Beth: And I'm Beth. Steph: I've been in recovery for 13 plus years and recently wrote a book, Discovering My Scars, about my mental health struggles, experiences and faith. Beth: I'm a lawyer turned pastor who's all about self-awareness and emotional health because I know what it's to have neither of those things. Steph: Beth and I have been friends for six years, have gone through a recovery program together and when I wanted to start a podcast, she was the only name that came to mind as my co-host. Beth: I didn't hesitate to say yes because I have learned a lot from honest conversations with Steph over the years. Steph: We value honest conversations and we hope you do too. Beth: That's why we do this and why we want you to be part of what we are discussing today. What is our topic today, Steph? Steph: Today we are talking about the day we changed. We're going to reflect on 9/11 and that is September 11th, 2001 the terrorist attacks that happened in New York City. So let's just start with this. This is, this was years and years ago, but still to me it feels it was yesterday. It was the biggest event in my lifetime so far. And it, it changed, it changed me. It changed the world. So I'm going to start just say where I was. So I was in 10th grade in high school. I was in second period, Culinary Arts class. And I remember they came on the announcements and they said, "we are under attack and turn on the TV." As a, you know, 10th grader, I guess 15 years old, 14 or 15, I didn't know what that meant. And they turned on the TV and I saw the twin towers at the time, I didn't even really know what the twin towers was. We live in Tallahassee and we do have a capital where the capital city of Florida. And so I honestly thought, because they said "we" on the announcements, I honestly thought "we" could've been Tallahassee. I thought that could've been Tallahassee downtown. I had no concept. And then I watched that plane, the second plane hit the tower. But I had the concept of, I just saw a plane run into a building and there were human beings in those planes in the, in that plane, in that building. And my eyes were just fixed to the screen. I couldn't believe what was happening. I just, my brain couldn't comprehend it, but I was, at the whole day, every class, all we did was watch the TV. And I remember my next class was TV Production and my teacher had family in the New Jersey, New York area. And I just remember, not knowing her family, but just realizing what that, how unimaginable that is to not know. Knowing family was that close and not knowing how they are and what was happening. It was, it was, it was a lot. It was a very tough day and a tough time. So Beth, where were you when it happened? Beth: I was actually in a mediation. So I was practicing law full time then and had a case that was about a car accident. And we were in mediation trying to reach a settlement agreement. An assistant came in and interrupted the mediation. The way mediation works is you all start in one room together and then you break into separate rooms and the mediator goes back and forth. And we were, the mediator was in with my client and I and an assistant came in and said, there's something going on we need to tell you. And then they brought in a radio so that we could hear it. We had no visuals, no visual of what was happening. I mean it was 2001 technology was different then, right? We didn't have smart phones and you couldn't just just pull up video that. So we actually listened to it for a little bit on the radio. We couldn't stop the mediation. But I remember conversations , well, is this related in some way to President Bush? And here we are in the capital city where his brother is. Does that increase risk for us somehow? There are all these things that we kind of didn't know how it was going to unfold, but the mediation did end up ending pretty quickly. We were able to reach a resolution, and I think it was because our attention was focused on the fact that there was something more important happening in this world than this case that had been our focus. Now you wrote about 9/11 in your book that will be released in January, 2020 right? Steph: Correct. Yeah, it was, it was a big deal. I mean, I have to assume it was for, for most people. On that day. Beth: Why don't you read to us what you wrote in Discovering My Scars? Steph: Sure. So I'll, I'll just read that section really quickly: "During my sophomore year of high school, 9/11 happened as bad and unimaginable as it was. My brother had just joined the Air Force weeks before and was in basic training. He called us the night of the attacks, just long enough to say that he was okay. I felt a pain and sadness I'd never experienced before. I couldn't wrap my head around so many innocent lives being lost. I still can't imagine what it must have been on the streets of New York that day and what people can never unsee. And in my head, behind all that sadness and destruction was my brother alone, away from the family on a military base with little training under his belt. Questions kept swirling in my 15 year old head. Are the bad guys gonna target military bases? Are they coming from my brother next? Does this mean war? Does this mean my brother is going to war? Shortly after he finished basic training, he was sent to Afghanistan. That was a hard time emotionally for me. The emotions I had shut down so well came roaring back stronger than ever before. To cope I journaled a lot and wrote letters to my brother. We wrote things to each other that we would never say in person. I had less fear sharing my deep feelings with him. I guess the fear that I might not ever get to say those things to him was greater than the fear of expressing them." Beth: You know? Until I read the manuscript I didn't remember that your brother had been in Afghanistan and that he had in that he had joined the service just before 9/11. I think that what you touched on in the part that you just read is how 9/11 did change us and it changed our perceptions of how precious life is. And it was this moment of awakening and a time when we went from feeling we were not only privileged but protected by living in America and how all that changed that day. Steph: Yeah. I mean, I was a high schooler, I was a young kid and before 9/11 I thought there was a lot of good in the world. I didn't even really, I don't even know if I knew the word terrorist. If I did, it was probably from TV shows and in , oh, that's the bad guy kind of way. But I never had conceptualized that there were people that hated us so much that they wanted to kill us. And that was a very scary realization. And before that. I mean, I don't want to compare this to that, but before 9/11 happened, the worst thing I'd ever learned about was the Holocaust. I remember in seventh grade I, we had a whole class about the Holocaust and I remember just wanting to absorb everything because I couldn't imagine I couldn't, it was so hard for me to understand that this happened. I understood that it happened and I believed it happened, but I just was trying to understand all of what happened in it to try to figure out how did it happen. And then to actually live through 9/11? I can't imagine what it must be to just hear about it. for young kids now, they didn't experience it. They've heard about third hand. they'll never be able to understand it on the level that I understand it because I lived through it. Just the Holocaust. I will never be able to understand that someone that actually was there during that time. Beth: Yeah. Or people who are, who are from the generation, they remember the day that Pearl Harbor was bombed. Right? Or they remember the assassination of President Kennedy. those are these touchstone moments where you, you will always remember where you are. And so just we started the episode today, often our conversations about 9/11 start that way. Well where were you when you heard? What was happening in your life when you heard? Steph: My new neighbors actually lived in New York for 30 years and that was one of my first questions. I know it's not a pleasant topic to bring up, but I, I still anytime I think of 9/11 or talk about it, it's always in reverent tones. it's, I feel I still act it was yesterday in the sense that it was such a sobering time for us and we lost so many precious lives that those people going into work that day had no idea. They didn't sign up for this. This was, they were just living their everyday lives. And so when I, I'm still so curious about people's stories. I want to absorb stories and I want to hear I don't, I don't want to be disrespectful but I really want to know their, their story. Cause everyone has some, we have stories here in Tallahassee. New Yorkers definitely have stories. And so that was a question I asked my neighbor and he didn't have a problem sharing. He's actually a doctor so he had a whole 'nother side of things to share. So that was I don't know. I having those conversations cause I feel it's something that connects us. Beth: You used a good word there. You said it's sobering to remember nearly 3000 people died on that day, on that day, you know, because of these acts of terrorism and that was not something that we had been subjected to as Americans. Steph: I feel we had, we definitely had hate amongst us, just frivolous things. But on that day, Americans, we just have all of our little nitpicky things. But on that day I feel we realized none of that mattered. And we came together stronger as Americans and we said, this is not okay and we are, we are stronger. You did not break us. We are stronger. And I felt , I do feel that happened. I do feel there was a strength that came from that and from us all kind of pulling together. There's a lot of , songs are written around that time. It was just , yeah, we're Americans. So I do think there was, there was some, some shining moments within the, the dark clouds that it was. There's also a really good musical that was recently made called Come From Away. And it's about how in Canada, all the planes that day had to be rerouted and grounded because they didn't know, you know, that day no one knew what was going on. In Newfoundland, a place called Newfoundland they opened their homes to people that were grounded on those planes. So there's definitely, there's some positive things that happened, but I still feel it's so important to continue to talk about all of the stories from that day and to never forget. Beth: So you mentioned that we sort of came together as Americans after 9/11 and it reminded me that you couldn't buy an American flag. They were all sold out everywhere. You couldn't, Walmart didn't have any left, wherever else you would think to buy a flag. Target, wherever, nobody had them. And so I actually had to call the Florida Department of Management Services. I was determined to get a flag and I knew that they had them because they have to fly them over the various state buildings. And so they sold me a flag and I had to drive downtown Tallahassee to wherever the Department of Management Services was at the time. It was in this little teeny tiny building and met the sweetest, sweetest old woman. I'm, I'm sure she's gone on to glory since then because it has been a few years. But yeah, and she, she sold me a flag and then for the first time in my adult life, I had a flag flying outside my home because it was important to me to, to show solidarity and to show my appreciation for being an American. Steph: Yeah, it's happened that every 4th of July we have a little get together for my family at my house. It just kind of randomly happened when I first moved in and I remember this year my nephews were holding the flags and I remember I was singing patriotic songs to them and they were like, "oh, you're being so annoying." I'm like, "no, we're Americans! We need to celebrate this!" And I remember I didn't always have that feeling, but when I think about America, I think about 9/11 and I think about what that really means to come together and to be one people. And so I do see that there's a, there's a lot that the flag represents, but to me, I remember that that time period and get that gets me into the "we're American" spirit. Beth: I definitely underestimated before 9/11 how America was perceived internationally. I just failed to understand the reality of some of the things that we had done internationally and how that caused us to be perceived. So much so that I had a friend who after we went to high school together and then after college she actually joined the army and was being trained as a linguist and her assigned languages were Arabic dialects and I remember thinking, why do you need that? Shouldn't you be learning Chinese? Why do you need to learn Arabic? Despite the fact that she and I had lived through Desert Storm together, we had been through that together in high school, it still didn't click with me that there were these tensions and hostilities with folks in countries where Arabic was spoken. I guess I was just naive. Steph: I have two questions, Beth. One is, have you ever been to New York? And two is do you remember right after, shortly after the attacks, that they were running some commercials on TV about Broadway stars were like, come to New York. We need you to come to New York because tourists had stopped coming because they were scared. Beth: I have only been to New York City one time and it was actually before 9/11, 2001 it was, I can't remember exactly, I think it was maybe earlier in 2001 it might've been in 2000 but I think it was in the spring of 2001 and I don't remember those commercials. What were they about? Steph: We'll try to find them on YouTube actually, but it was the mayor at the time and it was Broadway stars were encouraging people to come to New York and see a show. We saw those commercials and my mom, me and my friend and her mom, we went for Spring Break in 2002. So less than a year later. And we had an amazing time. I loved New York. I fell in love with New York. I'd never had been, was never into musicals, but my very first show was 42nd Street on 42nd Street and we were in the front row and it changed my life. I love musicals now. I remember when we went, a big part of going was to kind of pay our respect to New Yorkers and we went to Ground Zero and it was just a, a big hole at the, at the time it was just a big kind of empty void and it was important for us to be there and to experience it and to see, see it in person because we had heard about it. We'd seen every video we could. But to actually experience it in person, the space was, was really important. And since that time I just fell in love with New York. I mean I even thought of moving there. It was just it's, there's some energy, there's energy that just is nowhere else. But in, in the city I go maybe every couple of years I go to New York. I've been there more times than anywhere else. I have since gone to the, they now have a 9/11 museum. I encourage anyone that's going to go to it, but it is tough. It is super emotional as you can imagine. But they have done a very amazing job at it. And there are so many layers to it and it's definitely something to experience. And there's also two reflecting ponds that are in the footprints of the old towers and those are really impactful to experience as well. And the names of the victims are on there and they're actually adding names. So people started living back in New York after the events happened and the air was, was not safe for them. And so there's people that are experiencing health issues now that are related to 9/11. And if and when those people pass away from 9/11 related illnesses, they are continuing to be added to the Memorial, which I think is is important and good to know that they're doing that. I've also been to the top of the new One World Trade Center. I don't have the actual title. Beth: Freedom Tower? Steph: Freedom Tower. Yes. I've been at the top of the Freedom Tower and that's, that's cool. That's a cool view to experience. Then you can see the memorial down below from the top of the tower. So I, I felt that was very important to be when I go to the city to experience those things. And we normally stay close to the towers actually, an apartment near there. So I I always try to walk over there and just experience it cause it's, it's such a important part of my, of our lives, especially in my life and what happened that day. So I, I like to go and see what's out there. Beth: I haven't been to New York since then, but I, I definitely want to go and see, especially the memorial. My son went actually on a class trip they took when he was in eighth grade. I've seen his pictures and I, you know, I've looked at it online and it does look like it would be a very impactful experience. Steph: Were both of your kids alive when that happened? Beth: No. No. My son is my oldest and he was born in 2002. Steph: Okay. So neither of them were. Beth: No, I have friends who were pregnant during nine, 11, you know, and so actually those kids are, are all turning 18 now. And yeah, it's pretty crazy. But it definitely impacted those friends and I remember intense conversations about what is my child, what kind of world is my child being born into? And you know, I'm, I'm scared. I'm scared for her. I'm scared for him. And just how do you address it as a parent. And even now, you know, it's, it is important that they are educated about what September 11th meant and, and why it happened. And I was really glad that my son's school took the time to, to take kids up there so that they could see it for themselves. Steph: Have you talked to them directly about that day? Like when they learn about in school, do you, have you had conversations about what it was like? Beth: I think we've all talked about where we were that day, but I don't know that we've had any in depth conversations about, well how did my perceptions of America change that day? Or how did my perceptions of God change that day? You know, we have, we haven't had any of those conversations yet, but those would be good conversations to have because it did change my view of, I don't know if it changed my view of America or if it just enriched my view or deepened my understanding. You know like I was saying about how we were kind of perceived internationally and it definitely made me ask questions about God. You know, and I've, I've read some excerpts from a priest who is in New York City that day and, and him saying, "why would God let this happen?" You know, "why, why didn't God stop the planes?" Or "why didn't God change someone's mind?" Or "why didn't God give better security?" And all of those very reasonable questions about why do bad things happen. Steph: Did he get answers to those questions? Beth: I don't think that he got answers to those questions. I don't, I mean, I can tell you what my answer is. I have my answer. Steph: What's your answer? Beth: So my answer is that God doesn't make bad things happen and God is always working to pull something good out of the bad that humans create. Steph: So, like we said earlier on, there was some good that came out of it. Bringing us together as Americans and people opening their homes to strangers and things that mattered before that seemed like it was such a big deal wasn't a big deal anymore. Beth: I'm sure that's very little consolation to people whose wives, husbands, fathers died that day. Steph: There's no explaining it. Beth: I don't, I don't want it to seem like I'm making light of that. I just don't, I just don't blame God for that day. But I can understand why, why people would. It also made me realize, I never for a second thought that all Muslims were bad. I still don't think that there was a lot of conversation about Muslims after 9/11 and that I think has continued to impact us today. And of course there have been additional conflicts and additional understandings. But it did make me wonder, if I had been born in the Middle East, I would have been raised a Muslim. That's just the religion of the community. And I was born in the United States in a community that was predominantly Christian. And so I'm a Christian, so it made me just kind of ask myself and do that analysis of is my religion a circumstance of where I was born or is my religion based on what someone has told me to believe or as my religion based on a real faith experience. And in, in that way it was you know, a healthy questioning after 9/11. Steph: Do you find yourself having conversations with people about 9/11? Does that come up in conversation? Beth: You know, it really doesn't, isn't that something? Something that was so important and so devastating and such a touchstone moment like I said, but we really hardly talk about it anymore, at least with my friends and I, I don't know. Do you find yourself talking about it? Steph: What's interesting is so I have a friend that actually was in New York on 9/11 and she's kind of a friend of a friend. But I, I've met her, I always wanted to know her 9/11 story, but I also wanted to be respectful and you know, there's a time and a place and so I never probed or anything, but she recently wrote a book and I was so excited I actually ordered it on Amazon right when I found out that it came out. What's also interesting is I found out she was writing the book and that was actually the same time I was working on my book. So I was like, oh my gosh, we're both writing a book at the same time. So hers is out now. Mine will be out soon, but her book is called Out of the Shadows of 9/11 An Inspiring Tale of Escape and Transformation. And it's by Christina Ray Stanton. It is an amazing read. So I read this in a day. I am a slow reader, but I spent my whole day reading this book because it was so good and it was exactly what I wanted to hear, a true story of someone that was in New York at the time and she lived, her apartment was right in view of the Towers. And she talks really candidly and honestly about what happened that day. She talked about her dog. I didn't even think about pets. I mean, and that really hit me because a, I have a dog now. I was , oh my gosh, what would I do? And it's such a good read. So I highly encourage it. We'll put a link to in the show notes. But what's interesting is I just read this book a couple of weeks ago and I started telling people about it and I realized, so that was the last time I had conversations about 9/11 just was because of the book. But I realized when I was telling people about it, I realized when I brought up 9/11 it felt a little uncomfortable, not for me necessarily, but when I brought it up to somebody they're attitude kind of changed a little bit. Not in a bad way, but just Ooh, heavy. It's oh heavy. And I noticed that every time I'd bring it up /cause I wanted to recommend it to people because it's such a good read but it's, it's a heavy read. I mean it's, we all had some, some connection that are in our age bracket. We all have some kind of connection to that day. So everyone, it's not just , oh here read a history book. It's read about someone's story. You know, that day you lived that day. It's a great read. But that's the last time I talked about 9/11 was when I was telling people about the book. Beth: I think that as I'm reflecting on it now, I think most of my conversations about 9/11 are more about where were you rather than let's let's really think together about what the aftermath of it has been. You know, what have these intervening years been like? How has, how have your views changed? How has it impacted you? How does it continue to impact us as a country? Steph: I think that's a good question. I think for me it made me more aware of other cultures, especially after 9/11 when Muslims were profiled in America, people that were Americans had lived here most of their lives were being profiled and were being judged for just who they were and they had no attachment to the attacks at all. And that made me look at other people and realize, wait, I need to show them love. I need to go out of my way to show them love. And they're Americans just like I'm an American. I never had really thought about it that much. I, I would never have called myself a racist. I don't think I am, but I never really thought a lot about people that were other races in our country. And that made me really connect to them more and being like, I need to, I need to go out of my way to get to know them into, I guess that's the point is I get comfortable in my bubble and I stay in my bubble. The people that are me, but it made me think I need to get outside of my bubble. I need to be intentional about it and kind of love on these people that that might be different from me. So it helped open my mind in that kind of, in that sense. Beth: Yeah, it was the first time that I really understood not having to think about my race was a privilege that that is an aspect of white privilege that I don't have to think about, you know, how I'm going to be perceived. Whereas if I had brown skin, if I were a Muslim, I would be worried, not worried. I shouldn't assume that people are worried, but I would have to be aware that people are going to be making judgments about me based on that. Steph: I also noticed my sense of security definitely changed that day. And I noticed that whenever I walk into an airport, it's so different from what I, what I remember it to be when I was, when I was younger. I'm always very aware of my surroundings now. Beth: Yeah. I think it makes me more appreciative of the safety that I have because I think before I could take it for granted that it was just a fact of just living in this country. You just, you know, you could assume that you're safe and that I know that's not true in all parts of the country now. And that it never has been true in all parts of the country. What I'm trying to say is my awareness of it changed. Steph: Another thing that changed for me that day was my, my faith got stronger. There's things I can't control in life. I can't control the, the bad guys in the places they're going to do things. And I didn't want to live like a hermit in my house all day long and be afraid to go out to places. So I really had to live my life. I only have one life and live it to the fullest and when it's my time to go, it's my time to go and I'm not going to live in fear of when or how that might happen. Beth: When you shared the excerpt from your book, you talked about how you and your brother shared letters during that time and that you were able to say things to each other that under different circumstances you wouldn't have been able to say. Do you think that that was because he was away and he was serving in the military or do you think that in some way, 9/11 added to the immediacy of the need to say those things? Steph: It was definitely 9/11 because when he entered the military, we were at a time of peace and it was, you know, the plan was four years, go to college, you know, that was the plan. You know, the terrorist changed that plan. I mean even just going into the military was a scary and life changing thing for our family because you know, you never know. And then that happened on top of it. So yeah, it definitely gave a sense of urgency like I have to say everything now. There's no day, but today I have to say it today. And so I don't even remember. I don't have the letters still. It was actual handwritten letters. I don't have them still. So I don't even remember what we talked about. I just remember feeling a closeness. That's really what it was. It wasn't the words, but it was a closeness that I felt that I've never felt before or after. It was during that time that it was just, I have to say these things. He went multiple times. It was not just one tour over there and every time he was gone it was just very uneasy and not knowing. We didn't know where he was. He couldn't really share details. And I remember on I think Thanksgiving we put, we just put a picture of him at one of the place settings and it wasn't in a sad way, but it was just kinda , you know, he's with us, he's here, he's, he's enjoying well, he never enjoys Thanksgiving food, so it's just, he's not enjoying them like he always does. Yeah, it was definitely an interest. It's, it's even hard to think back because that's been so long. It was emotions I had never really experienced before. I mentioned in the book more detail, but I was also going through a really deep depression at the time that I didn't really understand and didn't, wasn't sharing because I was so afraid of it. So that was also very hard for me to be going through that. And then for the world to change in an instant. Beth: Do you think that the way he talks about 9/11 to his sons and his daughter will be different than the way you talk to them about it? Steph: I don't know. I haven't talked to my niblings about it yet-- Beth: I'm sorry to interrupt, but did you just make up that word? Steph: No, if you Google it, it's a word: Niblings. It is the, the son and daughters of my, of my siblings. That's what it means. Beth: Aren't they just called nieces and nephews? Steph: Yeah, but that's too much. So I made one word, so I didn't make it, but it is one word to describe it. And my goal is to really push that so I don't have to keep saying nephews and niece. I can just say nibling. Beth: It's a pretty cute word actually. Steph: It's cute! British use it. Beth: Okay. Steph: Yeah, it's a thing. Beth: I'm going to use it too then. Steph: Niblings. Beth: Niblings. Steph: Do you have siblings? Beth: I do. I have niblings and I don't think I've ever talked to them about 9/11 and I probably should. Steph: Do you want to? Beth: Oh, I said should. I should'ed on myself! Steph: I didn't want to point it out, but I just changed the wording for you, Beth. Beth: I do think it would be interesting to have a conversation with them about 9/11. Actually my oldest niece lives in New Jersey now, so maybe I should take a trip up there and go see the Memorial with her. Steph: Yeah, that'd be great. Beth: I should do that. Steph: I'll come too cause I want to see a musical. Beth: Okay. And we'll take my daughter 'cause she wants to go too. Steph: Oh yeah. Okay. Oh yeah, that'd be fun. Beth: All right, good. Let's plan that. Steph: And we'll do a live episode from there. From New York. That would be cool. Yeah, bring our mics. Yeah. Exciting. So the question you asked me is have I talked to them or how will I talk to them and I, I have no idea. I don't know. I, I assume they will learn about it in school and they might, yeah, it'll probably prompt a conversation. So if, if and when that happens, I'd be happy to talk to them about it, but I don't know exactly what I'll say. I think I'll start with where I was and how old I was and just share what I experienced on that day. I think that's where I'll start. And then I'll probably talk about New York and experiencing the Memorials and that I'd love for them to be able to experience them one day too, and I'm going to take them because I love New York. Beth: I wonder, I remember when I was in high school, I don't, I don't know if you ever had to do anything this, but I remember that I had to interview people about different war experiences. you know, I had to ask somebody about the Vietnam War and I had to ask somebody about World War II. I wonder if we'll be the people who get interviewed about what was 9/11 really like. So as often happens with our honest conversations, I'm realizing that this is something that you and I talk about, but it isn't necessarily something that I talk about with other people in my life and this is, this is something important and I can be talking to them about it. I want to be talking to them about it. Steph: Was that your takeaway, Beth? Beth: Yeah, I think that's my takeaway from today. Do you have a takeaway? Steph: My takeaway really just reminded me of having that spirit and sense of American being American. I think there's a lot of things happening in today's world that is discouraging and frustrating and not making me super proud to be part of this country. But it reminded me that there's so much junk and noise in the world, especially today. But forget all of that. We are Americans and there's something to be very proud and excited about and to share with the future, the pride of being an American and loving other people and bringing other people into our space. So I think just, I got a little sense of, yeah, America. I love this place. Beth: Me Too. God bless America. Steph: We want to remind you that we write show notes about every show and there is a link below in the description. So if you listen to podcasts, go to the description area and there'll be a link. You can click and it'll take you to our website, which is actually www.dospod.us. I don't know if you've ever said our website address, but that's the address, dospod.us. Beth: Well, I think our website address is actually super clever because "dos" is the Spanish word for two and there's two of us. And then we have this pod and then our, you know, our extension is dot us, which is us, which I think is pretty clever. So yeah, we're www.dospod.us. Steph: You can see we put a lot of effort into it because we did and we thought through all of that and so that's why we were very excited about the address and hopefully you will be too. Again, www.dospod.us and I did mention during the podcast I mentioned a book that I want again, shout out because that is a amazing book that I encourage everyone to read. It is called Out of the Shadow of 9/11 and it's on Amazon now. It's by Christina Ray Stanton. And I guess I will also say I read a little expert excerpt from my book called Discovering My Scars and that will be out in January, although there are advance copies available now on my website, which is StephanieKostopoulos.com and there'll be a link in the show notes. Beth: Check out the show notes, folks, we do them just for you. We like to include in every episode an invitation to you to call in and answer a question. You're also welcome to call in and just give us your feedback. We listen to every voicemail that gets left, but we like to give you a prompt in case in case you're not like me and you can just ramble on forever and ever. Steph: So if you're like me and need actual direction, then this is for you. Beth: And we actually have a voicemail that we'd to share with you today. Yinka Akinwale (Voicemail): Ah, hello. This is Yinka Akinwale listening from Lagos, Nigeria. Just wanted to give my own feedback to say I'm a fan of the podcast. I actually just finished listening to the Cliche Christian episode, so my feedback to the question is that I like to listen to the podcast when I'm at home in the evenings. Whenever I can find myself in the zone which just means an evening when I don't have any house calls to make, any summaries I need to write, family commitments and so on, which is what I spend many of my evenings doing. So I'm a big fan of the topics you've covered so far and I just wanted to say keep up the good work. Thank you. Bye Bye for now. Beth: That was really great to hear that message and get thank you for calling in. And actually Yinka and I are Twitter friends and we met over a mutual love of another podcast. That's actually how we became Twitter friends. And so it was great. That's actually the first time that I've heard his voice. We've corresponded, we've exchanged Twitter messages and direct messages and tweets and, and some emails, but that's the first time I've actually gotten to hear his voice. So that was really special. Steph: And he's from Nigeria? Beth: Yes. Steph: That's amazing. Wow. Beth: It is exciting to know that he's listening and that he is enjoying the podcast. And I hope there are people all over the world who are listening and hearing this and enjoying it. And we talked a lot in this episode about you know, being American, but one of the things that we love about America is that we are a country that honors a lot of different nationalities and we know that we are one small part of a really big world. Steph: Well thank you Yinka for calling in 'cause that was amazing. I really enjoyed hearing your voice and where you listen to the podcast. And we do have a question for you again this episode. Again, you can answer any of the questions we have asked before. But our question today is what is your favorite book, podcast or TV show? And I'm just going to say it, my favorite book, I've already mentioned it twice, but it is the 9/11 book that I mentioned. How about you Beth? Beth: I actually have been doing a lot of reading recently and I would say that my, a book that I read that I just keep going back to again and again is Where The Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens and it's you know, it's, it's fiction but it just was, it really captured my attention. I also would say that a book I read many years ago but that I just found out I was going to be a movie soon is called The Goldfinch and I would highly recommend that that folks read that one too. That was really good. Steph: Well, we want to hear what do you might have, what are some of your favorites so you can call into the number and that is (850) 270-3308. Now it's time for Questions For Reflection. These are questions we put together based on today's show and you're welcome to answer these in your head in a notebook. We also have a pdf available on our website. Beth will have a little pause between each of them so that if you want to pause the podcast and answer them for yourself, you are welcome to. Beth: Questions for Reflection. #1: Where were you on September 11th, 2001? #2: How did 9/11 change your views on society, religion, or life? #3: When you think of 9/11 does it seem recent or only historical? #4: How will you educate the young people in your life about 9/11? #5: When was the last time you had an honest conversation with someone about 9/11 and its aftermath? Steph: This has been the Discovering Our Scars Podcast. Thanks for joining us.
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Meet StephMental Health Advocate. Author. Podcast Host. DIYer. Greyhound Mom. 
Meet BethI'm a mom who laughs a lot, mainly at myself. #UMC Pastor, recent Seminary grad, public speaker, blogger, and sometimes lawyer. Learning to #LiveLoved. 
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