Questions for Reflection
In each episode, we offer you a few prompts to think about how that day's conversation applies to you. Our supporters over at Buy Me a Coffee now have exclusive access to the PDF versions of all our Questions for Reflection. Join us today!
Beth Demme (00:03):
Welcome to the Discovering Our Scars Podcast.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (00:05):
Where we share our personal experiences so we can learn from each other.
Beth Demme (00:08):
Our mission is to talk about things you might relate to, but that you don't hear being discussed in other places.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (00:13):
Our hope is that you're encouraged to have honest conversations with people in your own life. I'm Steph.
Beth Demme (00:17):
And I'm Beth. On today's show, we're going to have an honest conversation titled, "Taking Time To Celebrate."
Stephanie Kostopoulos (00:23):
Then we'll share a slice of life and the show will close with Questions for Reflection, where we invite you to reflect on the conversation in your own life. Where are we, Beth?
Beth Demme (00:32):
We are in a cabin.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (00:35):
In the woods.
Beth Demme (00:36):
In the woods.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (00:37):
Deep in the woods of Fort Wilderness. We're at Disney World. So, today is a very special number.
Beth Demme (00:46):
Stephanie Kostopoulos (00:47):
It's number 1-0-0.
Beth Demme (00:51):
We hit triple digits.
Beth Demme (00:53):
Stephanie Kostopoulos (00:54):
Yeah. So, we realized a few months ago that we were going to be hitting this right at the beginning of September, our 100th episode. And because we actually record a week ahead, we thought end of August is our number 100 episode. Where do we want to record it? We had talked early on about going to New York and then we didn't know about kind of what was going to be happening.
Beth Demme (01:15):
COVID sort of made us rethink that idea.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (01:19):
We decided let's not go so far, but let's go to Disney. So, we decided this would be a nice environment to kind of reflect and celebrate 100 episodes. That's kind of two and a half years that we've been doing this and we're still at it. I don't know that today's episode is us telling you, "And we're done." We'll see what happens at the end, I don't know, we'll keep you posted. I don't know what's going to happen. No. Who knows?
Beth Demme (01:46):
Who knows? We don't really ever know where our conversations are going to go.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (01:49):
Beth Demme (01:50):
That's why they're conversations.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (01:51):
Beth Demme (01:52):
We don't script them out.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (01:53):
Yeah, exactly. So, today we're talking about taking time to celebrate because this is actually something that I don't do the best at, I will admit. But I was having a conversation a few years ago with my former celebrate recovery sponsor and I was just talking about how when me and my mom work on a DIY project, we do it, we finish it, and then we just move on to the next one. And we never ... I never even reflect on the project because we just like, "Next, next, next." And she was like, "Well, why don't you take time to celebrate your projects when you're done so you kind of have that finale?" And I was like, "What do you mean? That doesn't seem like a productive part of the project space. Celebrating?"
Stephanie Kostopoulos (02:40):
But then I was like okay, that would kind of help conclude it and help us move on to the next. So, I make a checklist for every project and I added that to the bottom, celebrate. And I can't say that I always do anything specifically. I always check it off, so it's done on my checklist. But it does remind me take a second or two to do something to kind of celebrate that we finished, especially really long projects. And it could be something as simple as go to Culver's, which is our favorite food place in Tallahassee, but it's a little far away. So, it's like, "Let's go to Culver's, get some custard." Or it can be like let's go to this store and just do something we wouldn't normally do. So, it can be ... Or just saying, "Good job with that project." Just some little action to kind of take a moment to realize what we did.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (03:39):
That's something that has kind of been in the back of my mind is how do you celebrate milestones or celebrate ... It doesn't even have to be a milestone or an achievement, it could be if you got a ... If you had an illness and you got some kind of reading that was productive in the right direction or something, how do you mark those kind of moments?
Beth Demme (04:01):
Yeah, I think that's what it's about, is almost like marking time.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (04:04):
Beth Demme (04:05):
So, for you at the end of a work project it's like "okay, we want to mark that this is done." And then it kind of creates that finality and then opens up some thought space and emotional space for the next thing. So, in terms of the podcast it's like wow, 100 episodes. Yeah, that is definitely something worth celebrating. We weren't sure we would get here when we started. We were like, "We don't know. We're going to do this until it ... As long as it's fun, we're going to do it." So, it's good, I think, that we're taking time to pause and reflect and--
Stephanie Kostopoulos (04:37):
It makes me remember when we were getting started, one of the things we'd read is, I think it was a staggering number, this is probably wrong, but it was like 90% of podcasts don't get past the seventh episode.
Beth Demme (04:51):
Stephanie Kostopoulos (04:51):
And I remember when we did the eighth episode it was like, "Whoa, we did it. We did it!" But to just think of that statistic, how low that number was, and to get to 100. So, I'm curious actually how many podcasts actually get to 100.
Beth Demme (05:04):
Oh yeah, that would be interesting to know.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (05:05):
Yeah. Once you pass that seven, are you good to go forever? Or how long do they go?
Beth Demme (05:12):
Now I'm wondering in my own mind how many podcasts I've listened to 100 episodes of. Because it's a commitment to create them, but it's a commitment to listen to them too.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (05:21):
Beth Demme (05:21):
Yeah. So, thanks for listening, you guys.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (05:24):
And if you have not heard all 100--
Beth Demme (05:25):
Stephanie Kostopoulos (05:27):
Beth Demme (05:28):
They're out there waiting for you.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (05:30):
They're all waiting for you.
Beth Demme (05:32):
So, when we were ready to celebrate, I think it makes sense. We came to the happiest place on earth. Right?
Stephanie Kostopoulos (05:39):
Yeah, I think that was kind of the idea was talking about is this the happiest place on earth? I don't think anyone could deny, Disney is very good at marketing. And they're very good at knowing what they're very good at. And they're very good at ... If you ask somebody, "Where's the happiest place on earth?" "Disney." I think most people would ... And not necessarily that is their happiest place. But when you hear or say that phrase, what are you going to say?
Beth Demme (06:07):
Yeah, it is closely associated with the idea of Disney, for sure.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (06:11):
Yeah. Do you feel more happy being here? Do you feel like this is the happiest place on earth?
Beth Demme (06:17):
I mean, it's probably not my quote unquote, happy place. But I do think it is a happy place. And I always sort of have the same feeling when I walk onto Main Street, when you come through and you go just past the train station and then you're kind of there and Main Street is before you and the castle is before you. It's like this feeling of nostalgia and pride and happiness. So, I do think of it as a happy place, for sure.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (06:44):
I mean, obviously Disney knows how to set that scene. And they pipe in smells and they have the music, just the right so. And I do think they're able to create this kind of nostalgia, this kind of wow feeling, this really like I'm here kind of feeling. They're able to just establish that so quickly for so many people. So, I think it's almost a given that we have these feelings. Because they produce them. And I guess it's kind of what I like about Disney is that they produce these feelings and this world, this almost fake world.
Beth Demme (07:25):
Oh no, it's not almost fake, it is fake.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (07:28):
Yeah, yeah. I mean, we're in the world, but yeah. Yeah, kind of this fake environment. And I like that I know that that's just going to happen when I go there, most of the time. Sometimes it's just hot and there's no ... You can't make this go away, it's hot. In real life, those things happen and there are happiness. But I have to kind of do my part. And I guess that's kind of like Disney is kind of like I don't even really have to do anything. It just kind of happens just by being here. So, I would say Disney is the gold standard for creating that feeling and the environment and those things.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (08:04):
And I don't know, I guess ... Yeah, I guess I would say if I was to think of a typical happy place, I would say Disney is my happy place. Locally my happy place is my woods. I think there are other places that I can get just joy and happiness and other things from. So, what would you say is your happy place?
Beth Demme (08:30):
My happy place is definitely sitting on my back porch with my husband. If I'm going to choose to just be in an environment or be in a place where I can just be happy, that's what it would be, for sure.
Beth Demme (08:44):
I will say, Mickey Mouse did right by us yesterday. Because we went to Magic Kingdom all day yesterday.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (08:51):
Oh yeah, we should probably say that, yeah.
Beth Demme (08:52):
And it was very short lines, some of the things we wanted to do didn't have any line at all. I think we walked right onto Space Mountain, never been able to do that before.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (09:04):
I know. It was overcast.
Beth Demme (09:06):
It was overcast until midday and then it got a little bit hot. But then our transportation from here in Fort Wilderness, everything just has been very easy. And easy makes me happy.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (09:19):
Yes, it's true. It's true. We've really had a very, very good celebration here. There's no denying it. I've been here when it's hot, it's miserable. It takes 12 buses to get somewhere, yeah, I'm with you. But we had no idea this was like the best ... I've stayed at a lot of the resorts around here. This is one of the best places to get to and from Magic Kingdom.
Beth Demme (09:44):
Yeah, it was super easy.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (09:45):
Yeah. I had no idea that this would be that. There's a ferry boat that will take you. And to get down to the ferry boat, you take a bus from your campsite--
Beth Demme (09:54):
Or you can rent a golf cart.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (09:55):
Yeah. We tried.
Beth Demme (09:57):
Yeah. They had all been rented because that's what everybody does.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (10:01):
But that's why the buses were very easy to get on. Because everyone else is on a golf cart.
Beth Demme (10:05):
Stephanie Kostopoulos (10:06):
But it has been easy and just yeah. It's just been a happy, enjoyable celebration. Highly recommend Fort Wilderness if you plan on doing Magic Kingdom on your vacation.
Beth Demme (10:18):
Yeah, for sure. And I feel like yesterday when we were in the park, you know, sometimes when I've come to Disney, and I haven't come nearly as much as you have. But when I've come, you kind of get to the hotter part of the day or you get to the end of the day and you start to see families kind of disintegrate. Everybody's melting down, not just the toddlers, but the parents and the grandparents, too. And only a couple times yesterday did I kind of hear families kind of snipping at each other.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (10:42):
Well, and there was not a ton of people. That was part of it too, is it was very low crowds. We came at like one of the best times. Because we had great weather and school's in session, so there's not as many people. I mean, we could not have planned that. It just happened to be.
Beth Demme (11:01):
You guys, we even got back in the park last night just in time to watch the fireworks.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (11:07):
Beth Demme (11:07):
Which meant that we were in exactly the right place on Main Street to be able to see the castle and the fireworks behind the castle. And then as soon as they were over, we were in exactly the right place to make a b—line back to our boat to come back here to Fort Wilderness. So, it just was ... It was magical, I would say.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (11:23):
Beth Demme (11:24):
It was pretty special.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (11:24):
And everyone was running to the ferry boats, the monorail. There was very little people at the Fort Wilderness boat. And we all got on. Everybody got on. And the boat that we were on, every time we road the boat we were able to sit on the outside area, have a nice breeze.
Beth Demme (11:42):
Stephanie Kostopoulos (11:44):
We could not ... Yeah. That was magical.
Beth Demme (11:47):
Yes. And I will say, we do take COVID seriously. So, we have worn our masks everywhere and tried to keep our distance from people. Like you're saying, when we were on the boat and there were more people, we had on our masks and we were outside and there was moving air. Yeah, it's been good that we've been able to do that. Because it would feel less magical if I felt like we were--
Stephanie Kostopoulos (12:10):
Beth Demme (12:10):
... unsafe, yeah.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (12:12):
Yeah. But I do got to say, Disney knows how to put on a fireworks show.
Beth Demme (12:17):
That was so incredible.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (12:17):
That was so cool. And you forgot your pass into the park.
Beth Demme (12:22):
Stephanie Kostopoulos (12:23):
And we had just taken the ferry from our ... There was no time, there was no way we could--
Beth Demme (12:27):
We would've missed the whole show if we had tried to come back.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (12:29):
Yeah. And Disney was again just made it happen. You went to guest services.
Beth Demme (12:34):
I went up, I was like, "Here's my ID, this is who I am. Can I please, please, please get back into Magic Kingdom?" And they were like, "Yeah, of course. No problem! Here."
Stephanie Kostopoulos (12:42):
Yeah, it was like 15 minutes before the park closes, "Oh, of course!"
Beth Demme (12:44):
"Yeah, we'll let you in."
Stephanie Kostopoulos (12:45):
Well, everybody knows that's what everyone was trying to do is see the fireworks. Because when we got off the ferry the first time at like 8:30, they were like, "Enjoy the fireworks." They knew why we were all coming over because there was nothing else, that was the last thing.
Beth Demme (12:58):
Yeah. And it's not ... I mean, I love fireworks, fireworks are actually one of my favorite things. But what was so special last night is that it wasn't just fireworks, it's the way they project everything onto the castle that's really just adds a lot to the show.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (13:11):
And the music. They just on point, Disney.
Beth Demme (13:15):
And people kind of weren't ... There were a lot of people, but nobody was standing super close to one another, I guess because it's wasn't overly crowded. And because we all know that it's COVID times.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (13:27):
Well, we were always towards the back. More closer to the castle, I think maybe they would've been a little bit more packed.
Beth Demme (13:33):
Stephanie Kostopoulos (13:33):
But yeah, where we were, we weren't sardines or anything.
Beth Demme (13:38):
Right, yeah. It was great.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (13:40):
We were in the very perfect position. That was magical. That was magic.
Beth Demme (13:45):
It was magical. We should put some pictures of that on our [B Mac 00:13:48].
Stephanie Kostopoulos (13:48):
Yes. Yeah. Well, and I took some videos. So, if I put together a little video of this, we'll also post that to B Mac.
Beth Demme (13:55):
Nice. So, what are some other ways that you like to celebrate?
Stephanie Kostopoulos (13:59):
I mean, I think this is definitely a very big commitment to celebration, this trip. Because I don't typically take trips for celebrating. Although I don't think there's ... I think that's a great way to celebrate, for sure, is with a trip. Kind of, I went to Colorado a couple weeks ago and that was kind of a celebration or just everything that had happened with COVID and just being home for so long, this was my first outing, safe outing, or safe as I can, back into the world and what I used to do kind of thing. And that was a very successful way to kind of get back there.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (14:38):
I mean, I celebrate with just ... I really enjoy building miniatures, like getting these miniature kits. So, sometimes I'll just take a day to just build a miniature and that can be ... If we've been working really hard on a project or something and we just finished a couple things, I'll just build a miniature just because I enjoy it and it's fun and kind of take my mind off things. And that's a good kind of ... To me, celebration's kind of like taking some breaths and allowing that breath. So, that's kind of what that is for me. How do you normally celebrate?
Beth Demme (15:16):
I'm thinking about how when I was growing up, we never went out to dinner, unless it was somebody's birthday. And when it was your birthday, you got to pick where the whole family went to eat and nobody was allowed to complain. So, I was a little bit bratty. So, I actually would try to think of like, "Where does nobody want to go? How can I really do something?" Yeah, so that was how we celebrated was go out to dinner, have a nice meal, which was not something that we got to do all the time. Also, we love to travel as a family. And when the kids were little, we would build up to the trip and then the trip was the celebration. And we would do that with countdowns and a lot of times I was able to do, I'd do a countdown, but I made ... So, we had a jar, and every day they would pull one strip of paper out of the jar and it would have a fact about where we were going or something we were going to do on our trip to kind of build the anticipation to make the trip feel like even more of a celebration.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (16:20):
Did you ever take trips to celebrate milestones in kids' lives or ... For example, this is kind of a weird one, but ... I might've talked about this before, but you'll love it. Growing up, when I was younger, my mom said that ... I was like, "I want to get my ears pierced, I want to get my ears pierced." And my mom's like, "You can get your ears pierced when you become a woman." And I was like, "What?" And she's like, "When you start your period, you can get your ears pierced." And I was like, "Okay." So, she really associated this really cool reward celebration thing with something that can be kind of a traumatic kind of like, "I'm dying," thing. So, I always had a very healthy view of my cycle and all that associated with it because I remember I was like, "I can get my ears pierced now!" And it still took my mom like six months to find a place to get my ears pierced. But I did, and they're pierced now and I never wear earrings. But there's holes in my ears.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (17:24):
So, something like that's kind of an odd ... I don't know that that's a typical thing to celebrate. But that is a celebration. Not looking at it as ... because it can be a negative thing in some people's lives, at least at the beginning. So, I thought that was a very cool thing to celebrate in that way.
Beth Demme (17:49):
The only real milestone that I can think of that I was like, "Yes, this needs to be celebrated," is graduating. Listen, a lot of people, if you do this, it's fine, it's no problem. But celebrating graduation from pre—school and graduation from kindergarten, those weren't super important or special in our family. Maybe they could've been. But for sure, graduating high school is a huge milestone. And I really wanted to have a big graduation party for my son, but he graduated in 2020 and it was COVID, so we didn't have a celebration. And also, I graduated from seminary the same month and there was no celebration because of COVID. So, I do kind of feel like we missed out on that. But Hannah graduates this school year, so in 2022. And I do hope that we get to celebrate with some kind of a party. And my in—laws, Stephen's parents, they are celebrating 50 years of marriage this year. So, we're going to have a party for them.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (18:50):
Yeah, I think a lot of those things are things that is a typical celebration, like a birthday, anniversary, which I think yeah, for sure celebrate. Is there anything that's like atypical that you celebrate, that you can think of that you have celebrated before?
Beth Demme (19:05):
I've never celebrated making 100 podcast episodes before, this is the first time I've ever done that.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (19:10):
Yeah! Well, actually, interesting enough, when we came, I told Beth, I said, "We need to get an I'm celebrating button from Disney." And they are basically ... they're just these free buttons you can get celebrating ones, you can get birthdays, anniversaries, and you just get them at guest relations. So, we went and we said, "Hey, can we get a button? An I'm celebrating button." And he said, "Which one?" And I said, "I'm celebrating!" And what did you think when I said that?
Beth Demme (19:36):
Well, so he was like, "What kind do you want?" And you were like, "I'm celebrating." And then that was it. And I was like she didn't say what we were celebrating. But then I realized really quickly you were waiting for him to get the I'm celebrating button and then get the marker so he could write it out.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (19:50):
The button. Yeah, the button literally says I'm celebrating, that's the name of the button. And then there's a space where they can write on it. And then we said ... He said, "What are you celebrating?" I said, "100 podcast episodes." And he said, "Okay, so should I write 100 episodes?" I said, "No, 100 podcast episodes." But my point was, is I don't know that that's a typical thing people put on those buttons. And then throughout the day people would look at our button and, "Podcast, oh."
Beth Demme (20:18):
"What are you celebrating?"
Stephanie Kostopoulos (20:19):
Yeah, so it was fun to be able to explain to people that this is what we're celebrating, which is not something that I think they typically would see on a button. But I think it is something to celebrate.
Beth Demme (20:30):
Yes, I'm still curious about the folks who were on the bus with us whose buttons said that they were celebrating their first baby and they had no baby with them. Okay.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (20:41):
There was a lot of questions there.
Beth Demme (20:43):
Yeah, I'm just curious about that. I'm just a little bit nosy about that. But yeah, so the cast members would ask us, "What are you celebrating?" Or they would say, "Oh my gosh, that's amazing, what's the name of your podcast?" It was fun.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (20:55):
I did a great job at explaining it.
Beth Demme (20:56):
Yeah. "What's your podcast about?"
Stephanie Kostopoulos (20:58):
I looked at Beth.
Beth Demme (20:59):
Steph goes, "Uh ..."
Stephanie Kostopoulos (21:02):
I look at Beth and Beth looks at me like, "You've recorded 100 episodes, I'm not sure why you're confused."
Beth Demme (21:09):
Steph doesn't really love to talk to people in general.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (21:13):
It's a lot of pressure. It's a lot of pressure.
Beth Demme (21:15):
Yeah. Or last night we were trying to order food and the woman wanted to know about the podcast and Steph was like, "I have tried to mobile order three times and it hasn't worked, I'm going to need to tell you what we want to order." And she's like, "Well, what's the name of your podcast?" And Steph's like, "I want a veggie burger ..."
Stephanie Kostopoulos (21:28):
You know what happens?
Beth Demme (21:33):
You were totally focused on like, "No, no, we have to get this order in."
Stephanie Kostopoulos (21:37):
I was so confused because I think it was like ... No, I think I went up and I was like, "Hi." And she's like, "Hey." And she's like, "Oh, that's cool!" And then I didn't know ... I don't think I picked up on what she thought was cool. Maybe she said 100 episodes, I don't know. But then I was like, "A veggie burger." And then Beth is over here saying, "Discovering Our Scars, we have ..."
Beth Demme (22:00):
Yeah, I'm trying to answer her questions. I even said, "She's going to need to order first, this is real important to her. And then I'll tell you about the podcast."
Stephanie Kostopoulos (22:10):
It was a lot. It was hard for me. Yeah, I was thrown off by that. Because I was like, "Oh no, she sees the button. Oh, but I got to order. I need my veggie burger, oh my goodness."
Beth Demme (22:21):
"We've got to eat so we can get to the fireworks."
Stephanie Kostopoulos (22:23):
Beth Demme (22:24):
We were under a time crunch.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (22:25):
And I always mobile order everything and it happened to not be working and I had tried three times.
Beth Demme (22:31):
Stephanie Kostopoulos (22:32):
And then she was like, "Oh yeah, sometimes it doesn't work." And then Beth over here is honest conversations about--
Beth Demme (22:38):
Yeah. I was like, "Well, our tagline is ..."
Stephanie Kostopoulos (22:40):
It's like three conversations.
Beth Demme (22:44):
But somehow the cast member kept up with it all. She was good.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (22:46):
And we got our food.
Beth Demme (22:49):
Stephanie Kostopoulos (22:50):
And you got two of yours, which is pretty epic.
Beth Demme (22:53):
I did, a kind of bonus.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (22:54):
That was how confusing it was, they just gave us multiple things. It was pretty good, yeah. So, one thing that we kind of talked about was reflecting on ... As part of celebration, is kind of reflecting on what you did, what happened, all of those things. So, one of the things that we kind of talked about was at 100 episodes we would kind of reflect on what comes next. What does 200 episodes look like? And something that we kind of decided is that we are going to go back to every other week, be biweekly with our podcasts. Which, we were early on, we were biweekly.
Beth Demme (23:34):
For almost the first year. It was like the first, I don't know, 10 months or something we were biweekly. And we had talked about going weekly, and then COVID hit and we were like, "Everything is so different. Everything has changed so much, we're just going to do this weekly."
Stephanie Kostopoulos (23:51):
Yeah, so we kind of sped that up. Well, we were going to go weekly after a year, we had talked about. But then COVID hit and we just started going weekly then.
Beth Demme (24:01):
Right, a little sooner than we had originally planned.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (24:02):
And then we never stopped. We just were like, "Okay, let's do it."
Beth Demme (24:05):
We've just been churning this out, chugga chugga.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (24:07):
Yeah, exactly. But we've decided to kind of be able to step back just a tiny bit, but not step back, just go back to that every other week. So, based on that math, our 200th episode will be in four years.
Beth Demme (24:23):
Stephanie Kostopoulos (24:23):
And same time, same place?
Beth Demme (24:26):
Absolutely, I'll be here.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (24:28):
Do you have any more reflections on 100 Discovering Our Scars Podcast episodes?
Beth Demme (24:34):
It just feels like we really have accomplished something to me. I don't know exactly why, but it just ... I don't know. It's like wow, this is our 100th episode, we've done 99 of these before now? It just really ... I guess because it hasn't been hard, that it's kind of like wow, that sounds like something that would be hard. But actually, it hasn't been. It's not that it hasn't been work, it has been work. But yeah.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (25:08):
Yeah, that's interesting. I'm trying to reflect on has it been hard? And what does that even ... What does that mean? I think there has been challenging times and there's been times of do we keep doing this? And do we have the time for this? I feel like there has been those kind of moments. But we really kind of set that expectation early on together of like we're committed. And I think the times where I have kind of questioned it, you were committed, and that was enough for me. So, I just kept going, even if there was times where I was like, "Do we keep doing this?" I think COVID really was a real big wrench in everything because that was kind of ... That kind of even took away from what ... I mean, I think it changed everything in everyone's life. But it really changed some of what we had said that we weren't going to do, be timely and current event kind of stuff. We didn't want to do that.
Beth Demme (26:13):
But then we needed to or had to.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (26:13):
There was no getting around that.
Beth Demme (26:16):
Yeah, it was what was happening in our lives.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (26:18):
There was no other ... Yeah, you couldn't get around that. So, I feel like that's a pretty cool accomplishment that we got through COVID. And that actually was very helpful during a lot of it was to be able to have this and to be able to reflect and have almost a time capsule of that time. I've listened back to some of those episodes and I'm like, "Oh my gosh, I forgot when we didn't even open Amazon packages before we sanitized them."
Beth Demme (26:43):
That's right. Or they'd have to sit for a day or two.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (26:45):
Yeah, yeah. And remembering, "Oh, that's when we were concerned about that." Or, "That's when we thought masks weren't a good thing." There's just things that I don't even remember. And then hearing it from my mouth is very just really takes me back. Yeah, I mean, 100 episodes is a lot. It's a lot.
Beth Demme (27:07):
Yeah, it's a lot.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (27:08):
And that we're still friends, and even closer friends.
Beth Demme (27:11):
Yeah, I think so, for sure.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (27:13):
And that we have just ... both of us have really kind of keeping up with our commitments.
Beth Demme (27:19):
Well, we have spent a lot more time together, which is part of what I was looking forward to with doing the podcast, was that we would have more time together. But definitely, I don't have another friend in my life who I'm like I am going to carve out that amount of time each week to really just have a conversation. So, that has made it really special.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (27:37):
We've never vacationed together, this is our first vacation together and we're still friends.
Beth Demme (27:43):
Stephanie Kostopoulos (27:44):
I mean, that's an accomplishment.
Beth Demme (27:47):
I mean, we do have one more night.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (27:48):
Oh my goodness.
Beth Demme (27:51):
Let's not make any assumptions.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (27:52):
The pressure is on. I could tell you, when you tell Beth what time to be ready, she is on it and she's--
Beth Demme (28:00):
Thank you, thank you.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (28:01):
She's 15 minutes early. I was impressed yesterday, I just got to say.
Beth Demme (28:07):
I'm so grateful it worked out that one time. That was really good.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (28:09):
But I wasn't even like, "You better be up at this time." I was just like, "You know, it'd be good if we were at the park before it opened, but it's no big deal." And we were, we were there like a half hour. We were just standing chilling by the castle waiting for them to open up the land for us to go on mine train. We're just like, "Hey." We got some pictures, we got our button. Priorities.
Beth Demme (28:30):
We did some people watching.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (28:31):
Oh yeah, that's the best, that's the best.
Beth Demme (28:34):
Yeah, props to the couple who had not only matching shirts, but matching shoes. They were amazing. They were amazing and awesome looking. The other thing about 100 episodes is I feel like because of the podcast, I've gotten to talk to and meet some interesting folks. Some of the people that we've gotten to interview, or even just meeting some of your friends and introducing you to some of my friends. That has been a really fun thing. And I'm excited about some of the people that we're going to be talking to, some interview ideas that we have or interviews that we even already have lined up that are going to be coming. I think that just is really fun.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (29:14):
Yeah, we've had some really great guests and just had some conversations that even with my own friends, conversations that I haven't typically ... Formal conversations I haven't typically had. I mean, when we talked to my bro about diabetes, I've never had that conversation in that kind of capacity with him about that. And it just really helps me process and see it fully when we have the start to finish conversation. And just some of the guests, I mean, meeting Samuel just out of the nowhere, kind of learning about him and then reading his story about his scars. I mean, I loved our divorce episode we did with your lawyer friend. That was--
Beth Demme (29:57):
Right? With Christi, yep.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (29:58):
I mean, I've always just been so intrigued by divorce. And to just kind of get those answers and that curiosity kind of figured out, that was a very cool episode, and have my mom on. I think she was our first guest. That was--
Beth Demme (30:12):
She was, yeah.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (30:13):
She'll be on again.
Beth Demme (30:14):
Yeah. Yeah. And we got to have my daughter on, and I got to introduce you to my friend Charlene. Even having Su on, Su Wang, Doctor Sue.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (30:25):
Yeah, Su was great.
Beth Demme (30:28):
To now have that connection with her too. Because not only did we grow up together and go to high school together and have, thank goodness for Facebook, because we've been able to stay friends. But actually to be able to reach out to her and say, "Hey, would you be on the podcast?" And have her go, "Yeah, absolutely that's something I would do." People have been really generous with their time.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (30:44):
And Darryl, I want to have him and his wife on again.
Beth Demme (30:47):
Stephanie Kostopoulos (30:47):
I want to have both of them on separately, I want to have them both on together, I want to have them on like 12 times.
Beth Demme (30:51):
Listen, as awesome as you think Daryl is, just hold onto your hats. Because Latricia is something.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (30:57):
Oh my goodness.
Beth Demme (30:58):
Wow, I mean, sincerely one of the most gifted people I've ever met. Just really amazing.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (31:06):
Wow. So cool. Yeah, we have some great guests lined up. Some great authors of books that we've read ahead of time and really, I just finished a book that I'm like I have so many questions and I just want to dig in. And there's just so many things that I'm curious about. And that's kind of how we go. Things that we're curious about, we bring people on, let's talk about this.
Beth Demme (31:29):
Right. I mean, we were curious about suicide, so to be able to reach out to a Suicidologist and say, "Hey, would you have a conversation with us?" And she was very generous with her time.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (31:39):
Yeah. And it's been great to follow her story. Because she has been struggling herself, she's been struggling with suicidal ... I think she actually had a suicide attempt recently. And she posted about it on Twitter.
Beth Demme (31:52):
Yeah, and on Facebook. And went into a residential treatment program for a couple of weeks and were able to send her some things. Yeah, it just is like none of that would've happened without the podcast. That is worth celebrating.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (32:05):
Yeah, exactly. I know. I mean, just the opportunities to have those deeper conversations that we wouldn't have. It kind of reminds me of, I know this is weird, but it reminds me of when I was in Girl Scouts. There was so many opportunities that we had to do that we wouldn't have if we weren't in this ... One of our badges was learning about healthy foods and things like that. And we went to this health foods store, this was years ago, we went to this health foods store in Tallahassee, and we got to interview them and talk to them about all these things. And then we made a video about it actually. And just learned things that I would've never gone into a store and been like, "Hey, will you tour this around and tell me about yourself?" There would've been no reason for me to just say that and do that just out of curiosity's sake.
Beth Demme (32:49):
Right. Or for them to take the time to do it.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (32:51):
Yeah. And they're like, "Oh, for a Girl Scout troop? Sure." But oh for some rando off the street? I don't know if we ... It kind of reminds me of that, having that thing that someone can be like, "Oh, you want me on your podcast to talk about this? Yeah. Yeah, let's do that. Let's have that formal kind of conversation." Not just like let's talk over coffee, which nothing wrong with that, that's great too. But to be able to kind of have this thing, this outlet to have these productive conversations. And I feel like I really ... I just forget a lot of stuff when I just talk to people. But having it recorded and then editing it and then posting it.
Beth Demme (33:30):
And listening to it and listening to it and listening to it.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (33:31):
I feel like I just have way more knowledge stored now. It's like it's official. It's like when they say in school write physical notes because that's how you remember it. It's like for me, I'm like record yourself saying it, edit yourself saying it. That's a good way to remember it.
Beth Demme (33:48):
You will remember it if you hear it that many times, yeah.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (33:50):
So, highly recommend everyone just start a podcast so you can get all your curiosity answered and have it recorded so when you're like, "Wait a minute ..." It's right there.
Beth Demme (33:59):
But if you're going to start a podcast, you got to find somebody like Steph to start it with. Because here we are in Fort Wilderness, we have our microphones, we have our board, we have all of the things that we would have in our podcast studio because she packed it and made sure that it all made it, even my headphones.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (34:18):
Yes. We are not on a ride at Magic Kingdom right now, unfortunately, I know. I know that's what people were thinking like, "Oh, they're going to record at Disney. Oh, which ride?"
Beth Demme (34:27):
Yeah, we're on splash mountain because that's great for audio equipment.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (34:31):
Oh my gosh. You would be hearing some like, "Zippidy doo da, zippity yay."
Beth Demme (34:39):
We got to do splash mountain, we got to do space mountain. We got to do--
Stephanie Kostopoulos (34:44):
The mine train.
Beth Demme (34:44):
The mine train.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (34:46):
Beth Demme (34:47):
Peter Pan, it's a small world.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (34:50):
Beth Demme (34:51):
You were pretty excited about that one.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (34:53):
It's literally every time we come to Magic Kingdom we do that because the kids have been at different ages. But every age, they can all do that.
Beth Demme (35:03):
Yes, that's right.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (35:04):
It's one of the rides that everyone can do.
Beth Demme (35:05):
Everyone can do that one.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (35:06):
At any height.
Beth Demme (35:07):
We did the haunted mansion.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (35:09):
That was one of our best ride pictures I think, from haunted mansion. We got all of our ride pictures and that one we're both looking amazed at something. I don't know when they take the picture.
Beth Demme (35:17):
I don't know what we saw.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (35:18):
And Beth, her hand is up like, "Take me with you." Like, oh my gosh, this is your next pastor profile picture, I think.
Beth Demme (35:26):
Yes, reaching out for a ghost.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (35:28):
A ghost host.
Beth Demme (35:31):
And yesterday the lines were so short that we got to the end and I was like, "Oh no, there's supposed to be more hallways, what happened?" But there just wasn't a wait, so it was nice.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (35:40):
Yeah. Yeah, this was a magical day.
Beth Demme (35:42):
It really was something.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (35:42):
If you do Disney a lot, you know what I mean. This was a magical ... This was something you can't plan. And we actually had lunch at the--
Beth Demme (35:52):
Yes, in Belle's castle.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (35:55):
Yeah, or the Beast's castle, or both.
Beth Demme (35:57):
I guess, yeah.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (35:57):
Belle and Beast castle.
Beth Demme (35:58):
I guess it becomes hers.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (35:59):
It's called Be Our Guest is the restaurant. And it's a pre—fix menu and you get an appetizer, a meal, and then dessert. And you get the gray stuff for dessert.
Beth Demme (36:09):
Have you had the gray stuff?
Stephanie Kostopoulos (36:10):
Well, the gray stuff, it's delicious, but you should ask me my opinion.
Beth Demme (36:17):
What did you think of the gray stuff?
Stephanie Kostopoulos (36:18):
It was okay. It's like mousse, it's like gray mousse and I don't really like mousse.
Beth Demme (36:24):
It's delicious, ask the dishes.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (36:26):
I know. That's what the guy said we when brought it out, it was really cute.
Beth Demme (36:28):
It was pretty cute.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (36:30):
I was like, "This is definitely something they're supposed to say every single time." He's like, "This is the gray stuff, it's delicious. Don't believe us? Ask the dishes." Okay great, thank you.
Beth Demme (36:39):
And they serve it in a little chipped cup, like Chip. Right, it was Chip made of white chocolate.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (36:45):
And we were in the main ballroom, which was actually perfect.
Beth Demme (36:51):
We had the best seat.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (36:52):
Off to the side, we actually were kind of six feet from everybody and we felt very comfortable. And it was really good because the other room, because you're allowed to just walk around and check out stuff. No one walked around us, because there was nothing to check out where we were because we were in the side, but we could see everything. But people were walking through the other rooms and those were dining rooms. I'm like, "I'm glad we're not in this room." Especially over by the rose.
Beth Demme (37:17):
There was a whole family sitting right there by the rose and it's like they're trying to have a meal. We were in line to come up by their table.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (37:25):
I was like we were told we could do this, so I don't feel bad about it. They literally say, "Feel free to walk around the area."
Beth Demme (37:30):
Right, "Make sure you see the rose." So we did. Might put that on B Mac too, in case people don't know what we're talking about. But yeah. And while we were there, somebody got engaged.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (37:42):
Beth Demme (37:43):
So, that was super fun.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (37:44):
Yeah, Beth couldn't see it behind the pillar, but I saw it all.
Beth Demme (37:46):
Stephanie Kostopoulos (37:47):
Everyone started reacting, I was like, "What?"
Beth Demme (37:49):
I was like, "Oh, the beast must be coming out, everyone's getting very excited." He did come out later, but yeah. It was pretty neat.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (37:55):
That was pretty cool. And then they went back to the table and they brought them champagne. It was cute.
Beth Demme (38:00):
So, they were celebrating, good for them.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (38:02):
Yeah. They were celebrating, I'm not sure how much they were able to eat after that from excitement. But I don't know, I didn't stare at them, that would've been weird.
Beth Demme (38:08):
I bet that the guy was able to eat way better after he proposed and she said yes than he was before.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (38:15):
So, do you feel like you're intentional about celebrating?
Beth Demme (38:18):
I think I'm pretty intentional about celebrating milestones. But I think that I can be more attuned to the idea of celebrating small things. Because I think there's a lot more that's worth celebrating than what I actually acknowledge with celebrations.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (38:34):
But like when you were dealing with all your cancer stuff, did you have a celebration when you were cancer free or after all the procedures and everything? Or did you just take a big deep breath?
Beth Demme (38:49):
Yeah, I think I just sort of exhaled. I mean, definitely there were conversations about it. And then I had to have follow ups every three months for a period of time. And then when I got to go to six months instead of three months, I was really happy. So, there was a conversation about it. But I didn't like mark that time in any way. And I really could have. That really was something that was really meaningful to me. In fact, I'll have another six month checkup right after this episode comes out. And those are probably always worth celebrating. Getting good news from those checkups. Because when I had a scare after a checkup, I sure did spend time on that.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (39:30):
Well, even almost like if you do have bad news on something, almost taking the time to celebrate life, like the opposite. Kind of looking at the positive.
Beth Demme (39:43):
I'm also trying to be much more intentional about celebrating things in my work. So, things at my church. Because I am a very achievement oriented person, achievement matters to me a lot. And when things don't go exactly right, I tend to think, "Okay, well there's nothing there to celebrate." But I've been pausing to really reflect on you know what, nine out of 10 things went right. That is worth celebrating. I'm going to celebrate the nine things that went right and going to work on the one thing that didn't. Because we have a worship service every week, it's like every week there's a chance for the 10 things to go right. And getting nine out of 10 right is pretty good. So, I've been trying to be much more intentional about celebrating. I have a group of volunteers that I work with to make the service happen. So, really celebrating what they're learning and how they're growing and how things are improving. Really want to be more intentional about that.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (40:47):
We hope you have enjoyed our 100 episodes and are going to continue to enjoy our next episodes to come. We want to remind you that we have a ... It's what we call our B Mac page, it's a--
Beth Demme (41:03):
Stephanie Kostopoulos (41:04):
It's called Buy Me a Coffee. And it's a place where you can go and give a little donation if you enjoy what you hear. And you can also become a member, a monthly member. And we post pictures, behind the scenes, videos, maybe some stuff from where we are right now at Disney. So, we will have a link to that in the description below.
Beth Demme (41:23):
Right. And we also always do a PDF of our questions for reflection. Because it's our hope that you find those useful and that you might want to use them journaling or something. So, we make those available.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (41:38):
We would like to remind you, if you are enjoying these episodes to please rate us in your podcast app. If you are in the Apple app, you can scroll all the way down to the bottom and you can click the fifth star and that will give us a rating and that helps other people find our podcast. And if you want to say a few words, you can write a review there. If you want to find out more about Beth or I, you can find us on social media. And you can also find us on our websites. You can find me at SMKAuthor.com. And you can find Beth at BethDemme.com. And you can always get some behind the scenes looks at what's happening with the podcast on our Buy Me a Coffee page.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (42:24):
At the end of each episode we end with questions for reflection. These are questions based on today's show that Beth will read and leave a little pause between. Or you can find a PDF on our Buy Me a Coffee page.
Beth Demme (42:34):
Number one, do you think it's important to take time to celebrate? Why or why not? Number two, when was the last time you celebrated something? What was it, and how did you celebrate? Number three, where is your happy place? Number four, how can you be intentional about celebrating?
Stephanie Kostopoulos (42:57):
This has been the Discovering Our Scars Podcast, thank you for joining us.
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Mental Health Advocate. Author. Podcast Host. DIYer. Greyhound Mom.
I'm a mom who laughs a lot, mainly at myself. #UMC Pastor, recent Seminary grad, public speaker, blogger, and sometimes lawyer. Learning to #LiveLoved.